WHY D.A YOURSELF??

In_between_days

Hi guys,

This is a question for those that have dissasociated yourselves, and it might seem really stupid.

A while back I had a conversation with my parents in which I claimed that if I had ever been baptised I would have certainly dissasociated myself. I asked whether or not they would still have contact with me.

They said yes, but would avoid having me at family gatherings.

I was not happy with this, but at least it was'nt as bad as shunning.

Despite my standing now, my parents are now starting to get over it, and have been great, I cannot imagine my parents shunning me, despite anything I am still their daughter. We had a conversation where I said I thought it was totally unfair if a person wanted to officially leave, they should be able to do so without their family and close freinds shunning them.

My parents said, "Well, why do they have to D.A, why not just leave quitely?"

So, please pardon my ignorance, but why D.A? Is it worth losing your family? I'm really sorry if I am totally missing something here, but I am not very familiar with the D.A process. I ask my some answers why you personally D.A'd, and were you able to just "Leave Quitely"?

Thank You

- Just for the record, I left quitely, but I am pretty much shunned by all my close freinds anyway.

Amazing

Some are able to leave quietly and fade away. Some are not. There are many possible scenarios, much depending on the individual leaving and how brain-dead the JW Elders are.

Some are forcibly DA's. Some choose to DA, especially when they are face with DF, because they want to send the message that it was they who rejected the Watchtower religion. Others prefer DF because they want the responsibility on the WTS shoulders for the actons taken. It all depends on what you want and what your specific circumstances will allow.

I tried to fade away, but also did things to undermine my own interests ... and some things were forced on me. So, I ended up being forcibly DA'd. But, if I could do it all over, I would try harder to quietly leave ... and if confronted with the same brain-dead idiot Elders, I would choose DA as my second best alternative.

Southland

I am neither DA or DF.

From reading here, I think most of those DA did it so that they would feel "in control" rather than letting WT&BS being in control over them. Some of them were on the way to being DF if they had not DA first.

Many of the others, me included, feel that going out in full glory and flames, while perhaps feeling good at the time, leads to the "shunning" problem. If you have friends or family in the truth, you don't want to be shunned by them. Going out quietly usually allows you to preserve some semblance of normalcy in your relationships.

Undecided

I have been out for many years, but would attend the memorial at times. I haven't been to any meetings for several years. I attended a church with my wife for a while, just wanted to see what they had to offer and someone told a JW that I had joined the church. The elders stopped by to check this out and when I told them I hadn't joined but was just checking out religion in general, they just said to send a DA letter if I decided to join another church, then they left. Haven't heard anything since.

Ken P.

Francois

My question and basic concern with being either DFed or DAed is this: What good are friends or relatives who would shun you for any reason in the first place?

Can it be said that these people ever cared for you in the first place?

Why would you choose as a friend anyone who would put the hateful spewings of 16 senile octogenarians who are manifestly false prophets ahead of your friendship?

I guess it's a value thing. Either your friends and relatives value your association or they do not. And being DFed or DAed will certainly let you know who your REAL friends and family are - just like being bitten on the ass by a rattlesnake will also separate fair weather friends from the real ones. .

If my daughter, for instance, had been DFed there's no power on this planet, in this universe, that would make me shun her. Ever. For any reason. See what I mean?

Francois

DakotaRed

As already said, some are able to just fade away and others not. In my case, I was trying just fade away, but to stop tons of interference in and harrassment from local elders, I ended up DAing myself. To finally stop the interference, though, meant that the dub wife had to go with her kids.

By that, I mean that she was constantly checking with elders if what I was doing was acceptable or not. Such as, posting a sign on the front door telling dubs that if they could not offer a cordial greeting to me or show some respect for my headship, even though DA'd, then they should just get off the property and not come back. Most chose to no longer come and visit the dub wife and her kids. The ones that did still expected me to leave the living room when they come over and would snub me when they were here. After a very short while of this, I posted a sign saying no JWs were welcome on the property and to leave.

I don't care if dubs wish to shun me, but I'll be damned if I will tolerate it within my own house. So, dubby wife took her kids and moved out and I am getting my life back to normal. No elders or others coming in telling me how to live, what to say, or anything else. Lately, life is getting grand again.

Elsewhere

I tried to "fade away", but the JWs would not let me. My parents, elders, associates, kept "dropping by". They would not let it go. Eventually the elders started to threaten me with DFing (even though I had not done anything worthy of DFing other than not attending the meetings), so I countered by sending them a DA letter.

Reborn2002

Amazing said it best:

because they want to send the message that it was they who rejected the Watchtower religion.

That is precisely the reason that many choose to opt for disassociation.

To be disfellowshipped means that a judicial committee was formed and the individual was expelled for wrongdoing. To disassociate oneself means a person voluntarily and under no uncertain terms states publicly that they desire no affiliation with the Jehovah's Witness organization.

It is the only method within the infrastructure of the Watchtower doctrine that allows even a trivial amount of personal authority over a situation.

In my own experience, I chose to disassociate myself because we are warned to stay away from false prophets, and I could not in good conscience even as an "inactive" person be known to be affiliated with that cult. I wanted to make the statement publicly that it was I who rejected the JW's, not otherwise.

ISP

I'm not Da'd or Df'd.....lucky I guess.....

ISP

Perfection Seeker

HI! I was wondering if anyone knows the process with disassociating yourself? It is basically just like being disfellowshipped as far as the congregation is concerned? I mean, still shunned, etc. I wonder for people who might think of rejoining (NOT ME) if it is easier, harder or same to get back in good graces after being disassociated, disfellowshipped? Also, for those EX witnesses- when does this TERMINOLOGY wear off? Leaving "THE TRUTH" "WORLDY" blah blah blah?!?!?!?

WHY D.A YOURSELF??

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