by Englishman 29 Replies latest jw friends
LOL E-man!
8) Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.
It's what I live by!
I think I'll have a lovely 'apron' made and have the list printed onto it!.........as I often forget!! (HA HA HA HA)
Latte (busy fixing my hair & makeup...putting mini skirt on)
Latte
Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
My freakin duty? Um... NO! Not that I mind taking good care of those I love but, I reiterate it is NOT my DUTY to serve no MAN!!!
Let him talk first -- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
GASP -- WTF????
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.
Like what, nudie bars? *taps foot*
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
I AGREE WITH LARC... YOU CALL THIS ADVICE!!! JEZUS!!!!!
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
OK, at this point I am puking... brb... not sure if I will make it to the toilet at this rate..
Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.
OK NOW I FEEL RAGE
Now, here is my advice tailored for 2002:
1. Shut your trap, I have had a long day at work
2. You get head daily so don't bitch if I go out with the girls
3. I am taking a bath, leave me alone
4. Do I look like I work in a restaurant? Make it your damn self
HA HA HA just joking, but still, that article is SICK!!! Funny, but very disturbing...
3. I am taking a bath, leave me alone
And there I was about to join you! Oh well, I suppose I'll have to keep the bubble bath bottle all to myself...
Here is a list of a husband's desires:
1. If we're being quiet, it's not because we're mad at you, it's because we're drunk and don't want to open our mouths and risk slurring our words.
2. If we say something, and it can have more than one meaning, the meaning we intended is the one that DOESN'T piss you off!
3. You know what we want! 24/7 baby!
4. Tell US to make dinner for a change. And when we do this, force us to wear just an apron and a smile. We like this.
5. DO NOT call it a "weenus". Ever. LOL.
WEENUS -- LMFAO
I am taking a bath, leave me alone
I am taking a bath, want to join me?
"Tell US to make dinner for a change. And when we do this, force us to wear just an apron and a smile. We like this."
So do we... Sorry if you don't get much cooking done...
Kisses,
Moe
sounds wonderful englishmun and in australya our PM has pledged to make us all relaxed and comfortable by taking us back to the enlightened '50's whoo hooo! (fair dinkum lol) by the look of all the hippy clothes the young'uns are wearing we're halfway there
ub
ps: where's your boy?
LOL!
I laugh, but I know that was written with the utmost sincerity.
It makes me think of a woman that I worked with when I was about 20. She was in her 60's and very attractive. She was giving me a ride home from work, as my car was in the repair shop. Somehow, the subject of conversation touched on sex. I will never forget what she said to me:
"When my husband and I first got married 35 years ago, I gave him choice. Either I cook in the kitchen, or I "cook" in the bedroom."
"BTW: she continued "We are eating out tonight".
Andee
Edited by - BeautifulGarbage on 27 June 2002 13:37:12
LOL! This could've been taken from the Watchtowr or Awake 2002!!!
Here's a "revised" version for a good laugh............guys, don't take offense: I'm basing this on my sister's brain-dead husband............
1) Have dinner ready. Try and decide on either the Swanson's Hungry Man Dinner, or the Fried Chicken Dinner. Try and remember when you bought them or if there's an expiry date on them. Run them under the tap water to try and get rid of signs of freezer burn. Most men are so famished when they come home that they'll be grateful for anything resembling food.
2) Clear away the clutter. Gather everything up that you can and either throw them downstairs into the basement, or the nearest closet. Make one last rip through the main part of the house to make sure you didn't leave any empty rum bottles lying around. Kick any incriminating evidence (such as nearly-empty rum bottles) under the couch so you'll know where to find it later.
3) Prepare the children. If it's summertime, tell them to run through the hose outside and rub the dirt off their faces. If their clothes are dirty, squirt some soap on them and let them run through the hose again and again......
4) Pretend to be happy to see him.
5) Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but chances are, he's screwed up something royally that requires your immediate attention if you don't want the bank to forclose in the next 30 days. Check out his life-insurance policy to make sure he doesn't have his mommy down as the beneficiary. Try and remember if there's a double-indemnity clause if he dies in an "accident".
6) Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night as the cops will be able to use that against you when he goes "missing."
7) Don't question his actions, his judgement or his integrity because you know you won't get an intelligent answer and will only upset yourself.
8) Make him comfortable. Have him lean way, way back in a comfortable chair so that he cannot get up without a struggle. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Holding him down with the pillow, quickly grab a shoe and whack him several times for whatever it is that he screwed up. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. A good wife always knows her place.
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Mrs. Cleaver and Donna Reed!!!!! I remember reading something like that when I was in high school in the late 60's taking Home Economics - don't know what happened to me - Mrs. Cleaver I am not. My husband fends for himself.
It is true though, many of the women who were young adults by the early 50's did treat their husbands like that. My mother did to some degree. She would never think of giving my father a TV dinner (Swanson invented them - think they were out in late 50's). My sister and I got them, but oh no, not dear old dad.
What a blast from the past.
Reminds me of the Harry Enfield sketch:
Well, Mr Chumley-Warner
Here we have an automobile ... wait a minute - she's getting in the wrong door!
Women! Know your limitations ... stick to thinking about things like puppies.
You have to see it it appreciate it.
