Mary Mary! Thank you for the smiles!Please read Mulan's thread...If not..just her post only! It's well worth you effort!
Great minds think alike; I laughed my head off!!
TIPS FOR KEEPING AWAKE DURING THE ASSEMBLY!!!
by Mary 23 Replies latest jw friends
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joannadandy
Mary you really are my hero!
But you forgot another thing sisters can do. Wear the loudest clunkiest heels you can find, and march up and down the metal folding staircases as often as possible, if anyone questions you, claim you have an irritiable bowel and you are waiting on the new system to cure you.
Also-coming up with bad names for you badge card. Examples: Ivanna Humpalot, Erma Pukeonya, Seymore Butts, etc.
Something else to try-while in the bathroom washing your hands, be sure to wipe your hands on the sign that says "Please use only one towel" smile at all the sisters in line, and stick your tongue out and reply "I always try to go that extra mile for Jehovah, so I don't use ANY towels. You might want to follow my spiritual lead"
This is fun too-look into the crowd and try to notice themes of colors. Sometimes women will all wear hot pink, or you'll notice several yellow dresses. Begin to either connect the dots and find pictures. Or look for hidden words in the random patterns. If you notice anything particualry demonic in the patterns be sure to scream real loud about your observations and then beg Jehovah to forgive them for they know not what they do.
While walking by a an old lady with a contribution box, grab it, tuck it under your arm like a football and run like the wind! Be sure to stiff arm anyone who tries to stop you. After making a few laps around the convention center, stop and say you were just testing the security and pat them on the back telling them good job.
At the end of the convention when they are giving the experiences of the local merchants who say they appreciate the witnesses visiting, feel free to yell out "WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP-YOU TELL THIS STORY EVERY YEAR!"
When standing up to walk out for a bathroom break, make sure to have your ass pointing in to the chairs and poke it out a bit so you can crash into as many people as possible--bonus points if your actually nail a sleeping brother or sister in the face.
While taking notes feel free to misquote the brothers. For example, when they give the standard talk about not sparing the rod, list several types of rods that could be used. Steel, wood, iron, brass, etc. When sharing your notes with your family members later insist you heard correctly and then accuse them of sleeping through that part.
Oh and one final thought....adding bubble bath to the baptizimal pool might be a fun for shits and giggles.
Edited by - joannadandy on 27 June 2002 22:3:35
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tdogg
joannadandy-
good stuff ...waiting for th new system to cure me...
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Kjell Hedblom
Hi again Mary! Well,I just want to say that I have been a JW since 1968 (baptized) and had my first speach
1957 (6 years old) and I got my older brother (Stig) working at the Bethel in Arboga since 1965 (he was not happy
when I told him of my D.F.) But my wife (she is a darling) she is still a JW but she is loyal to me.But we have both
taken a brake from the K.H. together with our 2 children.
I sometimes wonder if my wife is coming from another planet,LOL,because she is such a wonderful and affectionated
person and take care the family including me (The sinner) in such a great way.
Thx for having you as a Friend,Mary, all my so called "friends" from JW are gone by the wind.
Many Hugs from Kjell with Family