Everyone remember a few years ago with the GB decided that the rank and file Witness just wasn't bugging the hell out of enough people because no one was ever home Saturday morning? They came up with the brainstorming idea to approach people in PARKING LOTS!!! (ya, that goes over reeeeeeeal well)......as if going to the person's home to tell them about their imminent death wasn't bad enough, now ya gotta tell them when they're out shopping! Yes brothers and sisters, a New Method of Preaching is at hand!
What you do is this:
Go inside a stall in the washroom at your local shopping mall and wait for a victim to appear. As soon as you hear them go into their own stall, wait 20 seconds and then dash out of your stall and start preaching to them, maybe by asking if they think mankind will ever be able to solve the problem of diarrhea. Giggle at their predicament, secure in the knowledge that they can't get away from you and have to pay "close attention" to what you're saying. Ignore their verbal threats by talking louder than them, shouting if necessary. If you think they're getting close to coming out, quickly shove the latest articles of the Watchtower and Awake! under the stall, and offer them a free bathroom bible study. For the truly daring, you might thrust your other outstretched hand under the stall and ask them if they would care to contribute to the world-wide preaching work. Keep it moving back and forth because they may, in their fury, try to stamp on your hand.
When you're pretty sure that they are going to be coming out soon, tell them how much you enjoyed talking to them and prepare to leave. On your way out, flick the bathroom light on and off several times, giving the room a "disco" effect. This will temporarily confuse and/or blind them, giving you a chance to get away.
Head for the nearest coffee shop, waiting 10 minutes and then repeat above performance. Make sure you've got health coverage because you will have the living shit beat out of you at one time or another.
Report each session as a Return Visit.........hehehehehehehehe..........