Social Death: The Practice of DFing among JWs

by Lady Lee 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Dune

  
  Ok, i know i'll probably be flamed for this but if you guys know me, i'm kind of a fence straddler.

  But when i asked an elder about the whole matter of disfellowshipping. He told me: "Well people dont get disfellowshipped for having sex, doing drugs, smoking, posting on apostate websites . That fact has been already been established, thats not the question. People are disfellowshipped because they arent repentant for what they have done".

  Ok, so say that i'm disfellowshipped for "associating" with you guys (which i'm not even sure that they can do). Do i really have the right to act bitter and inflamed cause seriously i already knew the risked involved before i started coming here. So cant the same be applied someone who is having sex and has to be caught or "witnessed in" before the elders know about it?
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  Lady Lee

  Dune No you won't get flamed. I think that is an honest question

  Ok, so say that i'm disfellowshipped for "associating" with you guys (which i'm not even sure that they can do). Do i really have the right to act bitter and inflamed cause seriously i already knew the risked involved before i started coming here. So cant the same be applied someone who is having sex and has to be caught or "witnessed in" before the elders know about it?

  The price for unrepentant sinning in the WTS is unloving and unChristian. While they say it is to keep the congregation clean it really is an issue of control.

  I agree that people are before the JC because of association or smoking or whatever. But then the elders decide whether a person is repentant.

  Who are they to decide this? How do they go about determining that one is repentant?

  Sadly too often the decision to DF someone comes down to how many people know about the "sin" or making sure that the "sinner" doesn't share "unwanted" information with others in the cong.
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  DannyHaszard

  The consequence of the WT unchristian family wrecking shunning protocol is it creates outcast apostate gurrellia warriors like myself who have nothing to lose.
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  ChrisVance

  That fact has been already been established, thats not the question. People are disfellowshipped because they arent repentant for what they have done

  When someone asks this type of question it seems they are forgetting that many dubs are raised in the LIE. They naturally try to please their parents long before they know the full ramifications of being baptized.
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  Lady Lee

  When someone asks this type of question it seems they are forgetting that many dubs are raised in the LIE. They naturally try to please their parents long before they know the full ramifications of being baptized.

  So true.

  But even those who come in later as adults have no idea how painful the shunning is. So many people believe that "MY family wouldn't shun me".

  I knew when I left I would lose everything. That is the only reason I stayed as long as I did. And sadly I think that is true for many. The fear of losing their families and friends is hard. So often they have cut themselves off from non-JWs and even families that never joined up. Leaving means you feel like you are somewhere in the middle - no man's land.

  I think the only ones that might find it easier are those who already have a social circle on the outside.
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  Gadget

  I knew when I left I would lose everything. That is the only reason I stayed as long as I did. And sadly I think that is true for many.

  Thats the way it was for me. Thanks for posting this article. I'm just starting studying Psychology, and building a library on cults/thought reform to hopefully try and become more involved, would you mind if I included this in it?

  Paul
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  Lady Lee

  Not a problem Gadget. Just know it is on my webpage and is copyrighted. It was written as a term paper for a course I took on death - not exactly what the prof expected but he never really defined "death" for us so I found my own definition