by Perfection Seeker 31 Replies latest jw experiences
JIM- that can't be the straw that broke the camels back, can it? I mean, in my experience, you're GONE already when you get the book, aren't you? I guess I was. I NEVER would have read it if I was "in". The WHOLE book really socked it to me about SOO many wrongs & misleadings. That book was awesome!
Edited by - perfection seeker on 3 July 2002 23:51:9
Spider Monkey said:
Gradually I started to, ahem, NOT feel any better, & to realize that this was the case, & finally got to the point of allowing my mind to voice its doubts in sentence form (you know what I mean? rather than just a sick, depressive feeling, I started looking at my feelings & their logical causes).
EXACTLY what I went through. I spent years trying to suppress that sick feeling that you speak of. I felt like such a horrible rotten person for not being so completely sold on Watchtowerism as my fellow Watchtowerists were.
The last straw came during a judicial matter (I was the one being judicialized). I wasn't DF'd, as I was genuinely repentant, but inwardly I was in turmoil and this inner turmoil manifested itself in a poor decision that led to the judicial hearing in the first place. When time for reproof came, one of the inquisitors told me that I was a "spiritual babe". At that point I knew that I was never going to be what this organization defined as a "spiritual" person, a mindless parrot. And I hated that, because I loved God, and I was so tired of their stupidass measuring sticks that they use to gauge your spirituality. I faded a few months after that, the rest is history.
