Yesterday, was, for my youngest son, the day that he re-commenced his fitness training in preparation for the start of the football season. However, his car is laid up, the engine having objected to the extremes that had been demanded of it since Number 3 son took over it's reins.
So Ben pleaded with HL to be taken to Winscombe, a distance of around 10 miles. On the way there, the cunning little menace mournfully mentioned that he would not be able to get back home, please, Mum, pretty please, will you drive back out and pick me up?
You've guessed it, she capitulated, and around 8.30 yesterday evening poked her head around the door of the study and bade me farewell. I was engrossed in de-bugging my PC of a recently aquired virus that pretended my hard drives were full, so I wasn't paying much attention to her as she left the house to collect Number 3 son. I promptly finished and went for a long hot pre-pub soak in the bath.
At 9.30 the phone started ringing. And ringing. Eventually I staggered downstairs in a riot of foam and damp towels and aswered said phone, whereupon I heard an extremely agitated HL demanding what the*******hell was she going to do now? This is how the conversation went:
Mike! He's not here!
You've got me out of the bath, I'm all wet and drippy.
I'm so fed up, I've waited half an hour and he isn't here!
Where is he then?
He's in the club house and his mobile is swithched off!
Er...OK..er.. where are you, then?
I'm outside the club house sitting in my car.
OK....um..why not go into the club house and get him?
Because I can't!
I see, and why can't you go into the club house and get him, my little honeybun?
Because I'm wearing my bloody pyjama's!
Ha Ha Hhhha haha............snort..guffaw, You're WHAT?
I'm wearing my sodding pyjama's, I thought that I would just slip my fleece on and go and get him, I didn't know that I would be marooned in the car!
But darling, last time you just "popped out" in the car wearing your pyjama's, the half-shafts jammed and you were sat in the middle of the road in the car, again you were wearing just your pyjama's!
Trust you to bring that up now!
Well, eventually Number 3 son realised that his mum was sat outside, and rushed out to join her.
I however, went down the pub before she returned (discretion being the better part of valour and all that). This morning we both saw the funny side of it, so I have enjoyed relaying this story to you. She will go bananas when I tell her that I've posted this. Heh heh heh.
Englishman.