joanadandy,........... are you suggesting that only persons with degrees should warn people about jw elders that bring young ladys to tears............. hahahahaha.......and because you could handle it, others should be able to handle it too?????????.......... how sick of you!!!!....... jw elders are not qualified to counsel anyone at all..............and they are in a position to do MAJOR DAMAGE.
It dawned on me one day.....
by Flowerpetal 26 Replies latest jw friends
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joannadandy
Without much surprise, you have totally missed my points yet again...
When you simmer, maybe we can talk, but I refuse to continue in a debate with someone who over uses punction marks.
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Amazing
Hi Flower: Good post.!
So the majority of elders have had or are having troubles in their families..I find that interesting and curious and makes me wonder that when they "reached out" to become ministerial servants which leads to being an elder, did they put pressure on their kids to be exemplary..but the kids couldn't live up to that..or what? The thing is if there is any dysfunction of any kind in the family, it leaks out some how..in various forms.
This is very true, and combined with being busy with work and Elder duties, they often do not spend enough time or quality time with their families ... and this always takes a toll, and there is always a certain price paid by all involved.
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Flowerpetal
Good grief people! You have my daughter committing suicide when only one elder talked to her two years ago!!!!! And not since then!!!!
She will be 24 this year. If anything has made her depressed since then, was that her 401K is now worthless because she worked for a company that was owned by WorldCom!
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Flowerpetal
Starfish,
He talked to her at the Kingdom Hall after the meeting. So there wwere people around.
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Flowerpetal
Let me tell you about my well-adjusted daughter: She's been to Europe 3 times, went to college, and may be planning a trip to Japan. She is opinionated and has a mind of her own. I don't worry about her, and if (BIG IF here) there were any improper suggestions to her by any elder as far as sex was concerned, when we all sat down and watched that Dateline program on sexual abuse among some elders, she would have said something then.
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Sentinel
Flowerpetal,
I enjoyed your post. It was an honest expression of an observance. This is quite serious I think. There seems to be much pressure for young well-established males, and older, settled males to join the "Elder" ranks.
When one does not follow the "pull" to work towards that, they are often times labeled as weak. I believe it takes great courage for a brother, especially a married brother with a family, to accept the position and also greater strength to just say "no thanks". Because once in that position, the family unit does come second to the responsibilities. Of course, I know they tell you to "keep your family in line", in order to set a good example, but that is not always possible. The Elder soon learns that in order to do a good job, he has to let some other things go, and that is usually his family. A person can only do so much.
With all of the other requirements to maintain, in order to be a good member of god's organization, the strain must be terrible. I've read where there are many Elders that have begun to fall away, and that the congregations are having real leadership problems. Perhaps this means that the Elder's tried to do both, and couldn't, and so in giving up being an Elder, they lost face and felt ashamed. On the otherhand, if the Elder put the congregation first and his family second, then his family is headed for trouble, and he sees his family fall apart. He then blames himself. Young children and especially teenagers and young adults need their fathers. Wives need their husbands.
We raise our children and hope they will become well adjusted adults. You have one already who is an adult, and another still in school. Things seem to be going well for you with the choices you have made thus far. I congratulate you. I hope that you will honor the free will of your children, even if they should decide to leave JW's as they grow older and make choices for themselves. I hope that you would not shun them and label them and disown them, even if the organization says this is what you have to do.
"The Truth Is Out There"
Karen/Sentinel