Witness teens /mental health probs in future?

by termite 35 14 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  termite 35

  Hi Radiolady; Sorry I did'nt see what you'd written until today;but you've had some great advice already!

  I hope your daughter can find some motivation.I do'nt know how long ago she left, but do you think she could be a little depressed too?

  It's dreadful for some to leave the org., even if they know it makes sense, it was for me; i'm glad i'm out; but feel pretty down sometimes as life goals have to change and you have to put yourself back in the world on different terms.

  Perhaps she's found nothing to excite her yet.I'm about to learn Spanish (and Belly Dancing 1)and we're starting a new project renovating old farmhouses at weekends.

  I've got to keep busy or I start to get a bit down at all the lost years etc- so I work,paint, go to classes and renovate madly!This weekend I will be ripping out plaster board pretending it's a certain elders head..................!!

  Perhaps a few evening classes before the 'pressure' of work would fire up some enthusiasm for her and get her mood up a bit and give you some thing else to talk about other than her 'faults'?

  That was meant very kindly-i'm not trying to imply she has many!!!

  Just some ideas-feel free to ignore completely!!
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  LeslieV

  Dear Radiolady;

  It certainly sounds like your daughter is suffering from depression. She has all the signs of it. It would be great if you could set up somekind of counseling for her. I know counseling can be expensive but if you have a Salvation Army or Catholic Charities in your area call, many times they charge by a sliding scale and it is very inexpensive.

  When you look at her life there is probably lots of issues she needs to deal with. Your divorce, leaving a controlling religion, your relationships...I only say this because my children went through exactly the same thing. I left when my oldest child was 12 and it was an emotional roller coaster ride. My youngest went to stay with her JW dad and his wife when she was 7. I am still dealing with the ramifications of it, and she came back to me after an ugly custody battle four months later.

  Most of the kids my children were raised were have left the borg. My children were just commenting on this the other day. The reason why kids that leave have such a hard time adjusting to life outside is that they never experienced the process of growing up. They are raised as young adults their whole life. They are told how to act, how to talk, etc. Most never experience the rebellion and independence that is so necessary for some to grow as healthy adults. Good luck I will be thinking of you and your daughter.

  Leslie
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  Latte

  Termite.nice post!

  Ballistic,

  I really feel for you!

  Wholewheat,

  To question wasnt even on the agenda! There was always some JW logical (seemingly) thought that would keep you there. Now when one is all growed up one can see how your life was molded/adjusted by people who were filled with error themselves.

  Latte
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  radiolady

  Ah yes...it's true...she is on Zoloft at the moment, however, I really think she has been misdiagnosed. I believe she is suffering from a Bi-polar disorder. Sometimes she is extremely excited and stays up all night long...and then she crashes. The problem is, I cannot get her to go to the doctor. She finally did go and that is how she got on the Zolof. It was like..yea..I finally got her to go, only to discover that they didn't seem to hone in on the right thing! I'm going to continue to talk with her and I'm going to go with her on her next appointment. We have got to get to the bottom of this. It's like she can't do anything unless I'm there holding her hand! I just don't have time all the time to do this. Although, I do know how I felt when I was going through my stuff...it would have been nice to have someone else there to help me through it...like you guys! But I'll just have to keep working on her. She doesn't talk much about leaving the organization...she does tell me that she will never go back. She's 22 now and officially left when she was about 16, but then she moved back home with her dad temporarily and he told her one of the conditions for her being there was to attend meetings. She really didn't like that, but she went until she couldn't stand it anymore. She is extremely hard-headed though and that's what makes this so difficult. I keep letting her know what she needs to do, but she seems to want to go in the opposite direction. Or, she will tell me she knows she needs help and then proceeds to not call the doctor. She has insurance through the state, but she gets so frustrated dealing with people...she just won't do anything. I've even tried to call for her and make appointments for her, but they tell me since she's over 21 she has to do it. Stay tuned...I'm gonna help her yet! I'm determined as all hell!

  Love you guys and thank you so much for all your support...keep it coming, I need it!

  Tammy Morgan aka Radiolady - FM107 "Real Life, Conversation"
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  bikerchic

  Hi Radiolady it was nice to meet you in chat lastnight. I understand your concern with your daughter and as I read some of the things you wrote about her I couldn't help feeling like maybe you could be missing the obvious, is she using drugs? No, not Zolof but street drugs. Her actions speek volumes to this....sleeping all day, no motivation, wired (sometimes) at night which by the way she can work at night just fine seems to have the 'energy' to do that. The thing that jumps out to me is her reluctance to actually get somekind of help, might just be afraid that her drug use would be found out about or she would have to fess up to it.

  I don't suggest at my questioning you about this you go and acuse her of using drugs, but just do some investigating yourself and when you are informed, and satisfied either that she is or isn't you can go to her with what you know. If indeed this is the case, I also suggest you get some help for yourself, Tough Love is a good orginazition. Read about addictions, a good book I highly recomend is Melody Beaty's book Co-Dependent No More.

  My sincere hope is that she isn't using drugs, and in any case it would be advisiable that you do come down hard on her and give her a timeline a definate date one that is reasonable in which she can get herself together and on her own. You may have to help her with this financially and even in the planning stages, but make it a goal that you stick to.

  Best of luck to both of you and keep us informed.

  bikerchic

  "Life is like a 10 speed bike, we all have gears we never use" Charles Schultz