I am on here as another member, but even with a username and not revealing my identity, I am still too embarrassed to use it. Had to make up a new one.
That being said...
My boyfriend is watching pornography, and it seriously hurts my feelings. I feel betrayed by it. Last year, we were going through lots of problems. He decided that he would no longer be intimate with me to prove the point that he is not just with me for sex. Don't ask me how that makes sense. I would cry to him to please make love to me, and he would not. He wasn't even affectionate with me. It was devastating.
Well, I stuck it out with him despite him using sex as a form of punishment. Eventually things got even worse between him and I-- lots of verbal and emotional abuse, and what looked like the signs that physical abuse was going to begin... He was yelling in my face, stomping his feet on the ground next to my barefeet (and he had boots on), and slamming his hand against the dresser. I was in the hospital for a short period and he even cursed at me there. There was lots of alcohol abuse on his part, and when I talked to him about it, he said that he didn't care. That he was going to keep on drinking. I spoke to his mom about it.She literally said to me, "Well, at least he doesn't hit you or cheat on you." It was a very difficult time, and I couldn't handle the stress anymore. I kicked him out under the condition that he would go to counseling, go get a physical done, stop drinking, stop smoking, and get serious about finding work. Yes, that too-- he is unemployed!!!
Okay, after about 2 months, it looked like he was keeping his end of the bargain so I said that he could come back. Now it's 2 months later, and he's picked up a lot of his bad habits again. Meanwhile-- we are still not having sex. TBH, I didn't really want to because I was afraid of being emotionally vulnerable due to all of our problems. Well, now he is all offended that I won't be with him! He was the one that took the sex away in the first place, and now he's throwing hissy fits because I won't give it up! And on top of that, he's watching porn!
He's still not affectionate, still doesn't give me compliments, or do anything that a girl would like to receive from her boyfriend. I've talked over and over and over about building up the intimacy by touching and kissing and hugging. Nope. He wants straight on action. It's very frustrating.
Be real with me, people-- I'm stupid, right?
Are you "stupid"... Well that all depends dosent it... Are you mentally deficient, as in scoring low on a standardized IQ test? I doubt it. You type well and are coherent.