HOW IT OFTEN HAPPENS PT. 3

by Dogpatch 21 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Dogpatch

  FROM THE SEXUAL ABUSE GUEST LOG:
  http://www.exjws.net/sexabuse/abuseguestlog.htm

  Date:
  Saturday, March 03, 2001
  Time:
  04:50 PM
  Comments
  I use to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses about three years ago but was disfellowshipped. While growing up in this religion I actually got to see how corrupt it really is. When I was thirteen years old, a follower of the Jehovah's Witnesses inappropriately tried to fondle me, when I came forward to my mom and the elders about this incident they wanted to see what I was wearing at the time this all occured. The mans wife was called to the meeting with the elders. Doesn't that seem strange that the actual person who did this wasn't even approached by the elders, but had given a message through his wife that I misunderstood him,and that he was just trying to "tickle" me. I'm sorry but I didn't know that tickling someone involved putting your hands up their shorts and into their underwear, and going under their shirt to do so as well. In another instance not too long after my disfellowshipping, my best friend who of course was not suppose to talk to me, came to my computer class and got me out because she needed to talk to me. She proceeded to tell me that the brother that her mom married about four months prior came into her room the night before and raped her. She could tell that he was drunk as well. Strangely though her mom sleeping in the same house heard nothing at all going on. She didn't want to tell the guidance counselors at our school because she knew her mom would take his side and believe that she was making all of this up. Well I didn't let her go without telling. I went to the counselors and made her tell them. The police were called and H.R.S. My friend was taken to the emergency room for an evaluation in which they found traces of her step fathers semen, also in the underwear that she was wearing at the time. He was arrested and disfellowshipped from the congregations. To my surprise though my friends mother continued to stay with this man and visited him in JAIL while he was serving his time for this crime. She also told my friend that she should forgive him because it was a mistake and that she was going to continue her marriage with this piece of garbage. As of today, her "step-dad" is out of jail and has written a letter of apology to the elders and has been reinstated. Does that make any sense? He's a child molester, why is he welcome into an organization that claims to be soooo perfect.
• 

  TR

  Thanks, Randy

  These are not isolated incidents, but shows to be true what Focus was talking about in the "pediphile are to the WTS like flies to honey" thread.

  TR

  Edited by - TR on 10 March 2001 2:31:25
• 

  waiting

  I'm stepping out on a limb here, and realize this. However.......

  1. The man confessed, was convicted, was disfellowshipped, and served "time for his crime." We were not told how long the prison sentence was, nor how long he was df'd.

  2. The man got out of jail, apologized, was re-instated (and presumably the congregation wasn't ignorant why he was in jail - if nothing else, he *was* in jail for *something* not upbuilding).

  3. As to his wife wanting to try to keep her marriage together - that is her personal decision. We may not agree - but we're not in her position. That doesn't make her necessarily wrong.

  Some professional counselors recommend trying to keep a marriage together - even if the molester/rapist is brought back into the home with the children.

  There are different levels of pedophiles. The age of the girl was not given, obviously the courts considered it a crime. But having sex with a 16 year old might be different psychologically than having sex with a 6 month old baby.

  He was her step dad of four months and drunk. Statistics bear out that female children have approx. 5/6 times greater chance of getting molested/raped by them than by their birth father.

  I am not saying he was not guilty. I am questioning as to the extent of cutting off someone after they serve their prison sentence, apologize and work towards re-entering a recognized standard lifestyle.

  waiting
• 

  neyank

  Hi waiting,
  I've read your story and you have my sympathies.
  However I don't believe people who commit such an atrocity should be allowed to be around children.
  Whether they apoligize for it or not.
  As a father, I think such animals should be locked up forever.
  Maybe even the electric chair?

  neyank
• 

  happytobefree

  Waiting,

  Being that you have gone through so much abuse yourself, I don't see how you could question another person experience. I don't know what you are going through in your present life, but many times your post come across as being so negative and mean spirited with no compassion whatsoever.

  I personally think you are a parent first, and a wife second. And I question any WEAK minded women for staying with such a fithly disgusting slug. There is no excuse for this man's behavior (drunk or not), nor the mother's choosing to want to be with a vile thing.

  I don't know if the story is true or not. But remember the story is being told by a friend, not the actual victim. But to me, it sounds very reasonable, in the stories I have heard told by many friends of mine (not witnesses).

  Happy to be Free (Me)
• 

  Fredhall

  Hey Randy,

  How often does a person keep the same porno magazine for 20 years?
• 

  nelly136

  dunno fred, how many have you had for 20 years?

  as for a mother standing by her man after theyve forced her child to have sex with them, personally I couldnt do that, I thought one of the responsibilities of being a parent was to protect your children, which means putting their interests over your own,if we dont protect them who else will?
  my husband had a problem but it was directed towards me, if it had been directed towards my kids, he would not have had the opportunity to hang around go to councelling and prove he was a reformed character, my children deserve to keep their innocense till theyre old enough to make ther own decisions.
  Theres a big age gap between my kids, if someone I was with decided to try out the older one how would I ever know the younger one was safe or not next in line for another one off mistake,
  euw no, if I knew someone had a thing about kids I dont care how much time theyve spent repenting their sins, I'd keep them away from my kids full stop, if you know someones a child molester and you offer your kids to them on a plate youre condoning anything they do to your child, I'd could never forgive myself if I put my kids in that position
  nelly
• 

  claudia

  I agree with Nelly, I also think that being drunk is no excuse. I have known many drunks who would never molest a child. That person is just an animal.
• 

  waiting

  Dear Friends,

  It would be nice if we could catch all perverts & criminals and lock them up for the rest of their lives.

  It would be nice if we could make them suffer as their victims did - and then slowly kill them.

  It would be nice if we could keep people who have done their jail time as the government says and then restrict them from ever interacting with society in general. Resting in the arms of society in general is children - whether at the grocery store or living next door.
  
  It would be nice if we could keep them from every marrying again and/or producing children.

  It would be nice if we could keep persons from falling in love with them.

  It would be nice if we could strip them from their families so that the families would be perceived safe.

  And it would be nice if you friends took the lead in all these actions, amended the laws, taught the professors, lawyers and doctors and paid much more in your taxes to provide life long imprisonment of the perverts & criminals. It would be nice also, ladies, if you would present here the logistics and legalities for doing any and all of the above.

  In reality - none of the above in absolute can be done. The government won't let you. It's called killing, maiming and discrimination. If you wish to join a religious organization that bans and practices all of the above - just make sure your past & future are sparkling clean - as well as the man you think you know so well, along with the children you bear. If you want to be sure that your children are never molested/raped - do not let them interact with another human - period. You cannot know in the depths of their minds the person sitting next to you. You may trust them - as I'm sure the above mentioned woman did. And you may be wrong.

  If you thought the answer was so simple - why in God's name have you kept it such a tight secret? The answer is - the answer is not simple. Restrictions are already in place by the government - you don't like them? Talk to the government. You don't trust the governments? Become a jw.

  How many of you dear friends have been repeatedly raped? Beaten? How many years? How many children have you had to hold who were raped by a trusted family member? and/or a trusted jw? If you have not been in my position or this mother's position - it would be a sign of maturity to allow latitude, because you can only assume how you would act. By your saying how you would act - presumably better than someone else you are referring to - you are judging that person, and you're judging that person as lower than you.

  If I scream from the Far Left Side - and act out as a victim triggered by something - I am damned because I don't control myself as others perceive a victim should. If I scream Far Right Side and want to kill all men/perverts - then I should be damned. If I get In Touch With My Anger and express it - I am damned for making others uncomfortable and for not forgiving. If I don't forgive, but say caution is needed before jumping - I am damned. If I think that I am Middle of the Road and trying to respond as such - I am damned for saying that this is a damnable complicated social problem and I am the living proof.

  Dear friends, did it ever occur to you that this girl's friend did not say that this girl was still living at home with her mother and probably paroled stepfather? Obviously, there would have been an investigation, court trial, time in prison. Did the girlfriend say how much time was lapsed? Perhaps the damned-in-your-eyes mother has no other children at home?

  All the facts were not given - period. You, instead of cautiously thinking that you may not know everything, judged everyone involved - including me.

  All rape/molestation victims/survivors are different. Tolerance is not something to be taken lightly. It is an achievement.

  waiting

  Edited by - waiting on 10 March 2001 16:15:14
• 

  nelly136

  I was actually talking about how I view things with my kids, youre right no one can be 100% sure that its never going to happen but a person can take reasonable precautions to lessen the chances of it happening,I'd rather cut down the odds and if that means keeping people who are known to molest kids out of my social circle and away from my kids rather than hope theyve reformed then thats something I will do, no buts or maybes. If I see anything that gives me reason to believe someone is acting inapropriately around my children then bye bye to them too.
  If thats classed as judging then so be it.
  nelly