it doesnt matter (page 3)

Xena

it doesnt matter if i post
it doesnt matter if i care
it doesnt matter if you read this
and it matters less if you respond

that might be why they thought it had to do with here and posting.....

I am sorry you are depressed and having a hard time. Having struggled with depression myself I can understand how devestating it can be.

People tend to analyze ambigious poetry, it's human nature. I am sorry too you didn't get the responses you obviously wanted, which I guess was just hugs. Just a hint, but if that is the case you might try just saying..."I need a hug"

I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way or get offended by what I have said. You seem like a very nice girl and I am truly sorry if you are having some problems in your life right now that are getting you down. But try and remember this is a public board and when you post something here....well there is no telling what you will get back...

Prisca

Spice,

I'm sorry that you've been feeling low, and while I don't know all the details, I can imagine you are going through some kind of pain.

I know you are very new to this board, but one thing that has been stressed time and time again, is that this board is no substitute for therapy.

I am glad that you took some time away from this board if you were feeling down, because when you are depressed, this site is not the place to be. Due to the nature of this board, it is easy to mis-read a person's words, simply because we cannot see a person's face or gestures. Hence, RF's words were misconstrued. He amended his post so as to clarify his position, but already offence had been taken.

And just as Moe came to your defence, I came to RF's defence, because I know the guy in real life, and as I said, he is not a hard-hearted person who would deliberately hurt anyone. Especially anyone in pain.

I sincerely wish you all the best as you heal from your pain.

SpiceItUp

Xena - thank you for your concern

Just a hint, but if that is the case you might try just saying..."I need a hug"

Unfortuantely Im not the one who likes to just ask for help..my pride gets in the way..hence that is why I even requested for noone to respond. It makes me feel like any concern I get is genuine rather than asking for it..it just seems to take away from the whole purpose of it to begin with. That is why I will never ask for a hug...but when i get them - I know they are truly meant.

But try and remember this is a public board and when you post something here....well there is no telling what you will get back...

I agree with this but I also think that when someone posts in under the topic of depression..those that care to respond usually do so with a bit more disgression..or at least I would hope so, I know I do. And no I was not offended by what you said. And again thanks for your input.

Prisca -

I know you are very new to this board, but one thing that has been stressed time and time again, is that this board is no substitute for therapy.

This is something I know...however since I cannot finacially afford prefessional help I do rely on friends more than maybe I should. I have also come to think of many here as friends. Also being on this forum has been good for me...in fact even thereputic to a degree. I try not to take what peolpe say to me to offense as the general rule..especially when its something that can only be read,. And Im sorry but the words he initially used (the only ones I saw until today) were very hurtful IMO.

And just as Moe came to your defence, I came to RF's defence, because I know the guy in real life, and as I said, he is not a hard-hearted person who would deliberately hurt anyone. Especially anyone in pain.

Yes, Moe did come to the defense of a very scared, angry, fragile, hurt, depressed friend. I would not have a friend any other way. But as for coming to the defence of someone that is in full capability to care for themselves is another matter...especially when it involves another persons sanity or lack thereof, that is when I do have to diagree (only because of the subject matter..if I had put this in...say Adult and Disagreements then your comments would be fully appreciated and expected).

BTW---thanks for your additional kind words (I do like to believe in the better late than never aspect of things)

Spice

refiners fire

MOE.

You are full of it dude.

That editing that you accuse me of adding to "soften the blow" was posted 2 minutes after the original post.I went straight back in and added something extra.

You didnt reply till 9 hours later. You didnt even READ the initial post by itself. You werent there, otherwise you would have posted your response sooner.

Hey MOE.When I need a conscience... I'll ask someone with a BRAIN to fill the role. You just stick to posting your butt.

Edited by - refiners fire on 15 July 2002 1:14:17

SpiceItUp

T O P I C R E V I E W
refiners fire	MOE. You are full of it dude. That editing that you accuse me of adding to "soften the blow" was posted 2 minutes after the original post. You didnt reply till 9 hours later. You didnt even READ the initial post by itself. Hey MOE.When I need a conscience... I'll ask someone with a BRAIN to fill the role. You just stick to posting your butt.

Refiners---Moe knew what you originally wrote becuse I told her (and if you bothered to even READ my last couple of posts you would have known this)....unfortuantely I was not at any kind of state of mind to fight or even able to defend myself. As for the 9 hour lag...she was at work and unable to post..she only did so because she picked me up ( after hours of crying my eyes out) and dragged the information out of me.

BTW---I am here now.....and obviously you meant every word you originally posted as look at your actions now. Why not take it up with me..I am here now..Im feeling slightly better. Or are you scared that a depressed young lady might make you look like the ass you just proved yourself to be.

Prisca---Do you really still want to defend this?...I sure wouldn't!

Spice

Edited by - SpiceItUp on 15 July 2002 1:26:40

Prisca

Prisca---Do you really still want to defend this?...I sure wouldn't!

I have already said what I have to say, but since you've dragged my name into this again, I will say this:

Nothing has changed, for me to not want to defend Refiner, or anyone else I have chosen to defend.

Your perception/interpretation of RF's motives were incorrect, and still are.

refiners fire

Hey Spice.

That original post I made, addressed to you, was made in full compassion, and with the intent to lift you up.

If you wanna see it thru a BLACK FILTER ....thats your problem.

Everybody...believe what you like. If you wanna believe I posted it to be cruel, well, so be it

Spice. Im done with you too. No more comment on this subject.

Night night

lostboy

everything does matter, all humans need to be loved, even the ones u hate, damn it. i love to hate some. cheer up!!! i've been there, and probably still am.

SpiceItUp

but since you've dragged my name into this again

Please dont make me force you to repsond...It was more of a rhetorical question anyway

Your perception/interpretation of RF's motives were incorrect, and still are.

My perceptions of RF motives are my reality..therefore they cannot be correct or incorrect...

but since then has he not apologized for appearing (intentionally or not) to hurt me when I was/am down...and has also tried to continue this into a flame..which IMO does say anawful lot about his character and motive.

BTW---I am not dragging your name into this again..you are under no circumstances required to post to this again.

Spice

SpiceItUp

Thank you Lostboy..I appreciate the thoughts..

Spice

it doesnt matter

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