I am in her situation, getting married to a non-believer very soon and unfortunately if she doesn't kiss up to them right now the elders will do everything they can to make sure she will be "marked" in her cong. They told me that I needed to agree to break up with him immediately after my elders meeting (not judicial, haven't done anything to be df'd) or face consequences (no privileges, marking talks, ect.). I calmly told them thank you for their time, left, and got caller I.D., and never went back. They have called several times and sent sisters to talk to me and find out info, if I am still getting married and when, ect. I don't know what marking talks they have given, but they have managed to scare a few members of my family from going to my wedding, who formerly were going to be supportive because they like him and know I'm not being immoral. So, they are working behind my back and it ticks me off, just because I hurt their pride. They can dish it out but sure can't take it. If she wants to stay in her cong. peacfully, she has to kiss up and play by the rules and hope they go easy on the marking talks. If not, she needs to get caller ID and not answer the door because they will look for a way to df her or get her to sign a da letter. Any info she tells anyone right now can be used to nail her. I am sorry to be so blunt but if she is the trusting sort, she needs to know what they will do before hand. I am so glad to be free.
A SISTER IS AFRAID SHE WILL GET MARKED
by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends
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plmkrzy
the elders will do everything they can to make sure she will be "marked" in her cong
Wow, thats pretty outragious. If they are really going to be like that then f**kem. don't go back. And if your future spouse wants to remain a JW just go to another cong. My friend that I mentioned earlier is currently working on her second worldy spouse. The first one divorced her after less then 1 year of marrige. SHe was never marked. Has always been called on in the watch tower studies and holds bible studies.
As for the scriptures beetle sited above they were always applied in all my congs but only to P,O, and elders. If an elder were to marry a worldy he would probably have to step down.
And everyone I have known that has married outside the faith (including myself) has been counsled and strongly encouraged to seriously re-consider. But no one that I know was ever "marked" for going through with it.
We were not allowed to get married in a KH but could be married by an elder outside the KH. If we were "marked" then no elders would have ever performed the ceramonies.
And again it does make a big difference depending on where you are.
plum
What ever hope everything works out for all of you who are tieing the knot.
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abbagail
Thanks dungbeetle for being so quick with the back-up WT documentation... it's always nice to be reminded/getting to SEE it in black and white!
Question: Why do they try to get DA letters from people? What does it matter? If the people have exited the WT, and are not associating, then what does it matter if there's an official letter on file somewhere?
As for the sis and the worldly guy... don't know if it was just me, but while a JW I always thought it was a Big No No (disloyal, and will end up like King Solomon who fell away, etc. etc.). But SO TRUE to whoever made the joke, that "look around the KH" as there's SLIM PICKIN's for partner-prospects... there was ZILCH for marriage prospects in the congs where I came from, everyone was either teenie-boppers or elderly.
Congrats to the sis for finding true love!
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Farkel
: She is somewhat dysfuctional
She's a dub. Ergo, that statement is an oxymoron.
Farkel
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Pathofthorns
It is a shame that after she gets married she will be harrassed by the local elders. They will think they are just doing their jobs "out of concern" but they will probably irritate her and her husband to the point that she will just stop attending.
If I was her, I would simply refuse to discuss anything with them as it is none of their business. Why submit to a lecture when nothing can be done after the fact? As if elders don't have enough to worry about they go and make more work for themselves by involving them in stupid things that are none of their business.
She is already well on her way to leaving this organization and it will be the elders that hold the door open for her on her way out.
Path
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minimus
btw....her daddy and brother know about her upcoming marriage and aren't telling anybody!
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minimus
sorry....meant to add they are both elders. 1 in her cong. , the other in bethel
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minimus
I talked to this sister yesterday and next week is when she plans on marrying the "UNBELIEVER". Do you know of anyone that got marked AFTER they got married?
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Found Sheep
me! publicly reproved prior and then Marked after? I know this is 8 years old but minimus seemed in need so looked up some of your old posts...
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umadevi
A sister in my cong was DFd for marrying a 'worldly' man. Is this the usual practice elsewhere?