Would you welcome a pity visit?

by kenpodragon 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  kenpodragon

  With all the talk about shunning in the religion, I was wondering if anyone remembered that the elders occasionally visit the shunned? I call these "pity visits", in that they are basically going down to the slums to see if the lepers want some medicine to lessen the pain.
  
  It seems to me that such a visit would be very insulting, not so much because of the above thought. Rather because it implied that they consider you to be wrong and them to be right, even though you have left and moved on with life. It is like adding insult to injury with a few additional kicks to the stomach while you are on the ground bleeding.
  
  Personally, my wife and I have had no attempts by the elders to see us in 5 years. We walked away and were never disfellowshipped. The thing is, I want nothing to do with them and would never permit a visit. My question is though ... would you?
  
  Just a thought

  Dragon
• 

  NeonMadman

  Nope. I'm in the same situation as you. I walked away, never df'ed or da'd. And if any JW's knock on my door, they'd better be ready to make a "defense for the faith".

  However, if elders called at my door in any "official" capacity, I would simply tell them that I do not recognize them as having any authority over me, and that would be the end of the conversation. If they tried to go further with any judicial charges after all the years I have been absent from their midst, I would let my lawyer handle the matter.

  I have an advantage in that I moved to another state after I faded away, so no one in the congregation where I live now knows who I am or that they have a vicious, horned, pointy-tailed apostate living right in their territory.

  I suspect they're too busy to worry about such things. The local congregation has made the papers twice since I moved to the area, once with a child-molestation issue (not much of one, it was a 21 year old guy and a 17 year old girl, if I remember correctly, but charges were filed), and the other time when a 24 year old "brother" murdered a 16 year old "brother". Supposedly it was over a girl.
• 

  zenpunk

  No one has visited me in years. I guess they can feel the bad aura surrounding the house.
• 

  LyinEyes

  I posted a week ago about an elder coming to my door to offer me the new books and "check" on us. I didnt let him in the house. I have also done that with one sister who came by to visist. I am sure my days of letting them have their pity visits are over. I just can't handle the stress of it, I know what I am doing, and their false pity and concern just upsets me. So the best thing I can do is not allow them in the house, if they stop by I tell them I am busy but I am always polite. I cant say that is the way it will stay . There has been very little contact with us since we left a year ago, and hubby was an elder. It is amazing that they have not went after us with more force. But I see it coming, and I hope they reconsider before they try to make anymore visist. They better hope that I am home and not my husband, he is about to go off on them about all of the hypocrisy and lies, the changes in the new book, etc. etc. I am throwing my hands up over this Navy scandal, ,,, of course I want to see more on it to have a solid basis for what is being reported. I am very patriotic now , really I always was, so I have no problem with the Navy . My anger is that the WTBS are such hypocrites. I am sure that if the JW's come to my house, I wont be able to hold my frustration about this in. I just dont care .... this might be the time to make my stand once and for all against the WT. I am not looking to be d/f or d/a ,,,but I am just waiting to see what happens. I am not playing by their rules anymore. Do you have any extra..." No Pity JW Visit", signs to hang on my door?????
• 

  kenpodragon

  LyinEyes,

  My wife and I walked away too, when I was a elder and she was a Pioneer. We were removed for not attending, but that was about the end of their contact. Yes, we did get a few phone calls that we ignored and one elder stopped by and talked to my wife to see if were okay. Then over 5 years pass and "nothing". If they wanted to disfellowship us, we would not care. I think for the most part though, with the passing years they have forgotten about us. We moved on and so did they. We hardly ever see any of the Witnesses around town and our life is never near their circles.

  Basically, I would doubt they ever make any efforts against you and your husband. You are inactive and they really don't like the legal problems that can arise if they attack inactive people.

  Take Care

  Dragon
• 

  Shutterbug

  LyinEyes

  What is this Navy Scandal? Where can I read about it??
• 

  The_Bad_Seed

  Some came for me at the apartment I live in, some time ago. Living with the superintendant, I assumed it was a smelly untermenschen asking for the elevator to be put on service, or a pizza man that had lost his way. Not having any reservations about answering the door in the tattered remains I once called my underwear, I pulled the door open quickly, to my surprise two vaguely familiar Elders with deer-in-the-headlights expressions who greeted me after some discomfort.

  I just told them to go away. It got back to me that they were disappointed at how cold I was. *shrugs*

  Edited by - the_bad_Seed on 15 July 2002 16:46:31
• 

  ChiChiMama

  NO, I would not welcome them for any kind of visit.

  I walked away almost a year and a half ago. I am not DF or DA'd and have never had one phone call,letter,or visit from anyone in the cong. I live in the same home as I did when I attended.

  They didn't care a year ago so they have no business with me now.

  Chi
• 

  OUTLAW

  Dam straight I`d let them in! I haven`t had roast dub in ages.I bought a special BBQ to roast them.It`s extra large so you don`t have to cut off their heads to get them in.Yep,nothing like roast dub and a cold beer.If you get a large one you have enough for sandwich`s all week..LOL...OUTLAW
• 

  StinkyPantz

  I would love it if the JW's vitsited me!!! I've never been able to confront one with my questions. I want to see their blank faces, I need to some comedy from time to time.