Amazing;
You sound like you are doing exactly what you should be doing!!! That is great news!!!
You also sound like you know what you need to do!!! That is great news!!!!
You also sound like you will follow through, and actually do it!!! That is great news!!!!!!!!
I hear only great news here!!! So what's the bad news again?
I am a firm believer in it's all a matter of perspective and attitude..!!! Accentuate the positives!!!! (Which it already seems you are doing!)
Have faith my friend, have faith!!!!
I'll be including you in my prayers!!!!