Hijacking this thread But for a serious purpose, as it's related...
You guys are great! At least you don't have to go through some of the BS that Witnesses have to go through to find a "suitable marriage partner", check out this post from JWZone to see what I mean:
Note: This reply is NOT about talking/cruising, etc. during the session. Anything that takes us away from our spiritual food, is, by definition, not proper conduct. Nor is this about underage dating, also a bad idea. But...what about "proper" cruising? What about the legitimate social aspect of our conventions for those of us who are of marriageable age and have no obstacle to marriage except for meeting someone? Unlike the previous 16 conventions when I was married, I've been single for the last 4 conventions now...and it puts a whole different spin on convention time, let me tell you. I'd be curious to hear all thoughts on this, especially encouraging ones.
Reply starts here....
Well, we're all agreed that corridor cruising is a bad thing. Good. Glad we got that settled. It sure FEELS rotten and demeaning, walking round and round a building for six hours, once a year, looking at the left hands of ppl and smiling as though you're enjoying the walk, feeling ashamed and fake the whole time. Glad to hear that it is a bad thing. Whew. It sure FELT bad.
At my DC, I sit in my seat for the entire teaching program. I sing, I take notes, I enjoy it, I feel moved, encouraged, blessed. I dutifully walk only at prescribed walking times. Then, when the convention is over, I come home, sentenced to singleness for another year. Because...that's it. The DC is IT for me, and for many, many other ppl here in the Midwest and South and other areas that have fewer Witnesses.
I am always a little distressed to see ppl (mostly married ppl) say things like, "Be wise, meet someone local where you can observe them close up." Well, of COURSE, that is the desirable, the only truly SENSIBLE way to meet someone. But the only men I can really get to know in my locale are either married brothers or single worldly men. What now? What do you do then, when you ARE a sensible person, but the only sensible option, the local option, isn't available?
When I was married, I had NO idea what single ppl went through emotionally with these conventions. It is a roller coaster of hopes, preparation, smiling, parading, greeting...and the inevitable disappointment. And you have to deny ALL of it...because it's not SENSIBLE. You have to pretend that you don't do any of it. Because...you're supposed to be here to LEARN, not to meet a mate, as ppl like me used to say, with the implied finger shake, assuming vaguely (and incorrectly) that singles had opportunities galore to meet mates at other times. WRONG!
When you are married it is sooo easy to say, hey, you kids, just concentrate on the program and FORGET all of that. But now that I am single, I would really, really like to know HOW one can forget all of that.
Forget what, my humanity? Forget the emotions Jehovah installed that were GOOD and necessary and right and pure? Forget that I, too, would like to be loved someday? Shouldn't we allow our brothers and sisters to feel that normal way without artifice and still retain their dignity? Perhaps we should, but we don't.
Of COURSE it's stupid to think of meeting someone by chance while walking around in circles at a convention hall and I FEEL stupid doing it. A sister who is a friend of mine gave up 10 years ago, won't consider dating now. She feels it's just too demeaning to consider doing what you have to do in order to date in our locale. (No available brothers in the four local congs and the 4-5 in the surrounding circuits are not a match.) When there isn't any local option, it can seem just too demeaning to live with the derision and the loss of dignity required in order to "look". Looking. Desperate. Cruiser. All terms of derision in our organization.
I see her point. It is tempting to give up and decide to live alone. But...I can't quite do that yet, either.
Anyway, I apologize to all single ppl for acting so high-handed about conventions when I was married. Forgive me for not realizing what conventions meant to you. You hid it well...and I had no idea...
...until I was single, too.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matt 6:21)
