Introducing Myself

FreeToBeMe

Hi folks,

Briefly, I now live just outside London, UK. Parents converted to JWs when I was 2. Moved twice to 'where the need was greater'. First time in '69 to Norfolk, then in '72 to Caithness. (The move to Caithness a premptive strike before Armaggedon, and our goodbyes to Norfolk JWs included "the next time we meet will be in the new system.") I was baptised at 11, being fully conversant of the JW philosophy and well aware that I was signing my own death warrant (as I saw it then... my reason for baptism being parental approval). At 13 I was beaten one time too many... this time for telling out landlord that we were JWs. Therein began my quest to escape.

Began asking questions... the most troublesome of which was "How do you balance a God of Love with a God that is going to annihilate over 5 billion people?" (I got hit and went hungry for that one too). Found myself being ostarcised by members of the congregation. Threw myself into service, and succeeded only in alienating myself from other less enthusiatic JWs of my own age. Eventually the inevitable happened, at 18 was introduced to a nonJW young lady (we hit it off almost instantly). At 19 thrown out of the family home for kissing girlfriend... (a peck on the cheek before I went to work... no tongues!!!! honest). Df'd at 20... reason N/K. I wasn't prepared to play their games viz, judicial committees, etc etc etc.

Also married at 20. Firstborn 14 months later (which kinda upset my parents as they thought it was a shotgun wedding, and therefore their theory blown out of the water... unless of course they think my wife is an elephant [2 year gestation period], which I wouldn't put beyond their realms of logic.) Second son 14 months after the first. I moved down to London in '81. Embarked upon a solo journey of recovery from a dysfunctional and abusive JW childhood ... yes I am a survivor too... and promptly screwed up my life for a time in the bottom of a bottle.

1993 packed up the booze (period). Began a journey of learning to trust other human beings. 1996 nearly died from cancer (bowel)... and in the process came to understand a concept of a God of love. Have very few regrets in my life given I've incorporated decades of adversity into making me a different, kinder, tolerant and compassionate person. Am grateful in a perverse sort of way for the JWs teaching me what NOT to do, and how NOT to be. I have no religious affiliation, I have found those churches I have visited 'wanting'. 1996 marked the year I joined the human race for the first time ever... and for today at least, I am happy.

Sentinel

Hello,

I enjoyed reading your post, especially the portion where you had a question about balancing "a God of Love, against the God of destruction". That was also one of my biggest inquiries. To me, I always thought about how parents relate to their children. No matter how bad they become or how embarrassing their actions, parents generally love their offspring. Even if for some reason they were dissatisfied with their conduct or lifestyle, they would not "destroy" their offspring. Since we are children of our creators, why would we have these "human" feelings, and yet be taught by JW's that God is going to kill off anyone who isn't a baptized JW. And why do JW's have to go against their own heart and shun children, mates, family members and friends. It certainly isn't showing love.

Also, another question I had, was if df'ing was such a serious thing, then why don't JW's require that the person be re-baptised, upon repentence and acceptance back into org? I mean, if when you are "out" you are considered as the "living dead", it would seem logical. And, if a person who had been "born into the org" or was baptised very young, as an adult no longer wished to honor their baptism with the org because they felt it just wasn't "the truth" for them--why they would be df'd or da'd.....simply for making their own adult choice?

I've noticed on this Forum, that both men and women suffer because of the JW influence in their lives. I suppose I can be very thankful that it is only my mother and her sister that are really active these days. Some have many family members that are still in, and this causes so many difficulties.

Funny, in some other post I was reading how families are split. For instance, one child, baptised and then df'd, is given the heave-ho, but another child, not baptised, having perhaps done the same "sin", is accepted as they always were. That would be a horrible family situation. In our family, everyone in was baptised, and so we all felt the affects when one or the other was df'd, reprimanded, or da'd. It made for a terrible disfunctional/split family. However, my Aunt has been faithful since the mid 40's, and she has three sons, who never were baptised. Family events, etc., were never a hastle. They chose their own way. The reason why this happened, is that my Uncle, a non-JW would not allow her to take my three cousins to any meetings. I always remember how he was labeled a very cruel man because of that. When they became of age, they made their own decision, which was of course, the right one. Their family was never split apart like ours.

It's nice to read a post by a man who has gone through similar situations as we all have here, and to read it from the male perspective. I appreciated everything you shared, and hope to see you here on the Forum.

Personally, I don't believe that any "religion" has the truth. I think it's a personal journey. Welcome to the human race!

Love and Light,

Karen/Sentinel

zev

WELCOME FREE

Have very few regrets in my life given I've incorporated decades of adversity into making me a different, kinder, tolerant and compassionate person.

amen to that!

amazing what a whole new perspective on life one gets upon getting out from under their control.

looking foward to reading your posts.

zev

patio34

Hi Freetobeme! I really like your appropriate screen name! Thanks for taking the time to introduce yourself. Welcome to Simon's coffee house where we can all freely speak and tolerate new ideas.

I had colorectal cancer in 1999. Not pleasant but finished with!

Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

Pat

bad_associashun

hi freetobeme,

cool name- it says a lot

congrats on your freedom & recovery from your dysfunctional & abusive JW childhood. Health & happiness,

rachel

Xandria

Welcome ... hope to read more posts and get to know you too. You will find a lot of survivors here.

Xandria

SYN

Welcome! Sad story, but there are so many here. We're healing each other day by day

rosalyn

Many of us here could fill volumes with our stories. The odd thing is that sometimes people don't believe I was being shunned so I would keep my thoughts to myself as much as possible. My aunt (non witness)for several years thought that I was imagining that my sister would not visit with me anymore after the inquistion got me in 1985. She does believe it now but it took a long time for her realize that this I did the right thing. I am so glad that I did not give up on this aunt because now she is a believer.....a believer that the witness relatives really are wrong and I am right. I am so glad I did not turn my back on her for turning her shoulder on me.

Personalities come into play...I was always the mouthy disobedient child while my little sister was the quiet unassuming very likeable child. So some of the non witness relatives were ready to chalk it up to me and my assertiveness and that I was to blame for my disfellowshipping. But like I said I did not give up on them and I have a group of non witness relatives who I cherish deeply and they cherish me too.

I sure would love to see my sister exit the organization. She really is a sweet person but that also makes her a follower too and I don't expect to have a socializing cup of coffee with her in the future. Ah well I have my other aunts, uncles and cousins who like to be with me.

Welcome FREE TO BE ME and thanks for sharing your experience. I am relatively new to this site and am learning so much...Hope you do to.

SPAZnik

Welcome to the site FreeToBeMe.

Nice to hear you are feelin' FREEEEEEE

Thatz my "favoritest" feelin' in the whole world,
and i can relate to how wonderful it iz.

I look forward to seein' s'more of yer posts.

SPAZ

Silent Partner

It's nice to make your acquaintance. I'm new here too and just thought I would say a friendly hello

Hoping to read more of your posts soon . . .

Introducing Myself

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