by larc 11 Replies latest social humour
Lawyer jokes.....
I have a few, I hope you can add some too. What do you call 300 lawyers at the bottom of the river? Answer: a pretty good start. What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in concrete? Answer: A shortage of concrete. Why do lawyers get to live in a mansion in heaven? Answer: because so very few of them make it to heaven. Bedee, bedee, bedee.... that's all folks.
Larc, it took me a lot of time and dedication to become a lawyer so I do not appreciate this thread one bit!
You know, I tried and tried to think of one lawyer joke, but for the life of me I can't think of one. I wonder if that's Freudian or what?
The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.
After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.
"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."
"I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."
The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service
OK--this is a bit of a priest joke as well----but I find it very amusing....
Lovers that are about to be married die the night before their wedding day. They meet St Peter at the gates of heaven and ask if they can still get married in heaven.
St Peter tells them that he will go check.
6 months later St Peter comes back and tell them that yes they can be married.
The couple thinks for a minute and says "In this last 6 months we had the opportunity to talk some thinga over and want to know that if it doesnt work out - can we get divorced as well?"
St Peter looks at the couple and says "It took me 6 months to find a priest up here, how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer."
Anybody know the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
EK
LOL!
Why do they bury lawyers 25 feet deep? Because deep down, they're really nice people.
TR
LOL@TR
I haven't heard that one
My roomies brother owns a law firm in Chicago. He keeps tabs on all the lawyer jokes, loves them. He's a lawyer with a very good sense of humor. For the life of me I can't remember any right now.
They'll probably come to me in the middle of the night and I'll run to the PC and post some.LOL
Edited by - plmkrzy on 21 July 2002 20:53:33
I have a few, I hope you can add some too. What do you call 300 lawyers at the bottom of the river?
How do you get 300 Lawyers to the bottom of a river?
One at a time.
