JW urban legends

berten

In my time as JW there was at least one urban legend that was very popular
amongst jaydubs.This was about the dog named "Jehovah" by it's JW-hating owner
so that when he got visited by them once again,he could shout "Jehovah,attack!".
According to the legend the dog turned on its master and killed him instead.
Anyone know more funny stories like the one above?

SYN

Here's a good one: There were these 8 guys in Brooklyn who promised a girl she could be on the cover of their magazine if she died by refusing a blood transfusion, and she actually believed them and did it! Screwy stuff, eh?

dolphman

The main one that I remember growing up was the one about a young girl bringing her smurf into a kindom hall. She hid it in her hands and at some point she tried opening them but couldn't. Finally she managed to open them and out pops the smurf, ALIVE, pissed off and apparently the brothers had to escort it out of the kingdom hall...

I actually believed this for a long time. My mom threw away my smurf glow in the dark lego set shortly thereafter.( I remember thinking my legos were demonized, watching them glow in the dark.)

geez...its amazing what you'll believe

kristslayer

hehe, I remeber I would get in trouble sometimes at the assembly by making fun of some of the boolsheet stories they would tell. I was like 10 and everyone thought it was cute and I was making some good hearted fun, but their faces always turned sour. My stories were always in the corniest prividing overseer dickhead voice.

I'd say, "There was a brother who had a father who would not believe in the bible or Jehovah, he would say 'I've had enough of you son with you and your JEHOVAH!!!!!!(exagerrated as hell)."

At this point people would not like my mocking tone and loud volume while saying JEHOVAH.

"Then the father tried to throw the New World translation at his son but slipped and fell, went into a coma, and is now one of Jehovah's Witnesses! Isn't that wonderful!"(very sarcastic).

Now parents are looking at me like I'm an apostate. I'm so proud of me sometimes!

minimus

Bethelite knows karate', someone on subway tries to rob him, bethelite tells him he really shouldn't try to rob him, then bethelite kicks his ass.

StinkyPantz

-A sister bought her daughter a smurf blanket. During the middle of the night she hears her daughter screaming and upon running in the room realizes that the smurf blanket is attacking her. She then goes to the kitchen to grab a knife and stabs the blanket. Out pours blood.

In_between_days

This was about the dog named "Jehovah" by it's JW-hating owner
so that when he got visited by them once again,he could shout "Jehovah,attack!".
According to the legend the dog turned on its master and killed him instead.

Berten, i've SO heard this one!!!! I heard the dogs name was "Satan".

There was this other one that a CO related on stage years ago about two JW's who were witnessing and got to the door of a two other dudes who were actually planning to kill them with a pistol one had behind his back but when he opened the door he let them speak, he said "not interested" and let them go.

As they were leaving the JW's hear the men talking, one sais to the other "Why did'nt you kill them"? and the other one sais "Did'nt you see the huge guys standing next to them?"

"Brothers" the CO sais, "The big men he was talking about had to be angels, as there was no one else in sight".

Then the congregation bursts into applause.

SpiceItUp

I had heard about the woman who hated the JW's, got amnesia then when she regained her memory she became one.

gumby

Anyone remember the INCREASE in birds in the 60's?

The thought was....armaggedon is close and thats why there has been an increase in birds since they will clean up Jehovah's big slaughter house.

Now thats an old one!

NeonMadman

As they were leaving the JW's hear the men talking, one sais to the other "Why did'nt you kill them"? and the other one sais "Did'nt you see the huge guys standing next to them?"
"Brothers" the CO sais, "The big men he was talking about had to be angels, as there was no one else in sight".

When I attended the Seventh-day Adventist church for a while prior to becoming a JW (this was back in the 1960's), I heard the same story supposedly about a SDA missionary couple. I wonder if the Mormons have a version of this one, too?

JW urban legends

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