They may buckle yet...Update on dead uncle

by Fire Dragon 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Fire Dragon

  Well, I have to say that things went better yesterday than I expected. My dad first commented that I had put on some weight and then gave me a hug. My mom took one look at me and said I was getting fat and it was a shame. Of course, she was exaggerating, I weigh less than 130 pounds. But it is the most I've ever weighed. (I asked my doc if I should be concerned and she said no, that she just thought I was happy. All this AFTER I leave the borg.)

  My mom and dad didn't stay at my grandmother's house long b/c they had to finish stuff at my uncle's house. Later that evening my dad called and asked to speak to me. Here's how the conversation went:

  Dad: I'm glad you were able to come be with the family today.

  Me: Aw, how sweet. (half sarcastic)

  Dad: Come on now. You know you're my daughter.

  Me: Oh? Can I come visit?! (I have been banned from their house.)

  Dad: (Deep breath) Yeah, you can come visit.

  It was at this point that I about fell over in shock! I can't believe it!! He even told me that for the funeral he wanted me to ride in the family car with everyone else. I totally didn't expect that! I just KNEW I wouldn't be able to ride or sit with the family...esp since the funeral is in a KH.

  I'm still cautious because I don't want to get hurt by them again. I imagine this is just a phase brought on by my uncle's death and that it may pass. I'm not getting my hopes up. I'll just take what I get as it comes.

  I'll let ya know how the funeral goes on Saturday. Thanks for all your hugs yesterday!!

  -Fire
• 

  ugg

  i hope the best for you.....it sounds so tough...hang in there
• 

  Hmmm

  That's encouraging. Sounds like you've been playing your cards well. Keep up the good work, and remember: Wait until after dessert to hit them with the UN thing

  Hmmm
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  Mister Biggs

  Why not wait to see how they are after the month of August. After all, that's the month the congregation will go over the 'How to Treat DF'd Ones' article in the Kingdom Ministry.
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  FreeFallin

  That's wonderful news. I hope everything works out well for you and your family.

  Free
• 

  plmkrzy

  wipes tear from eye
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  RubyTuesday

  hmmmmmm.....maybe it took a death in the family for them to realise how important all the family members are.I wish you the best.
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  Scully

  Not to rain on your parade or anything, Firedragon, because more than anything I hope your JW family disregards any WTS instructions on shunning and treat you with the unconditional love and respect that you deserve. I just hope that your dad's invitation to visit and be recognized as a member of the family extends beyond your uncle's funeral.

  It's been my experience that dubs will put on the "we don't shun DFd relatives" show for the benefit of such large family and possibly open to the public (ie, worldly relatives) events like this, and once it's all over, they regress back into their old shunning behaviour.

  Funerals, weddings, and the birth of children are all occasions when the rules are sometimes relaxed briefly, only to be more strongly reinforced later.

  Guard your heart so that you don't get hurt again.

  Love, Scully
• 

  TheStar

  I'm really surprised by your father's atttitude, concidering I know how badly he's treated you all these months since you were DF'd.

  I do hope your Uncle's death has been your dads wake up call and that it's not just a passing phase, time will tell, guard your heart. Please listen to what Scully has said. Mr. Biggs also has a point, next month the KM has a terrible article on how to treat those DF'd, its a very harsh article.

  Be polite, respectful and peaceable but above all, whatever happens, show them you can be happy with out the lot of them and that while you do and will always love them, you don't need them if they don't want you.

  Let me know how the funeral goes. I wish you the best and I'm here for ya.

  (((((((((((((((((((((((((Fire))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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  Jesika

  Good luck with your family, mine treats me the same, I haven't spoke to them in 11yrs. I hope they realize how important family is and I am sorry it took such a tragic experience for them to see that.