How do you when your anointed?

by haujobbz 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mary
    Mary

    If you were baptized before 1935, you're of the annointed;

    If you were baptized between 1936 - 1940, you could be of the annointed;

    If you were baptized between 1941 - 1950, there's a possibility you could be of the annointed;

    If you were baptized between 1951 - 1961, you'd have a better chance of being struck by lightening than being of the annointed, but we might let you slip by if you've been really really zealous for the last half a century;

    If you were baptized between 1962 - 1975, you were running ahead of the organization, and were over-enthusiastic about being of the annointed seeing as The End was "right around the corner". Chances are you left in '76.

    If you were baptized between 1976 - 1986, there's a small window of opportunity there, cause somebody had to replace all those "apostates" at headquarters in the early 80s. By you better be DAMN enthusiastic, and a Yes Man for the rest of your LIFE!! We catch you slipping up on ANYTHING, and you won't even qualify to handle the $%^ microphones by the time we're finished with you!!

    If you were baptized between 1987 - 2000, you obviously have mental problems if you think you're of the annointed, unless you're related somehow to one of the Governing Body members and use either Oil of Olay or Grecian Formula for men.

    2001 - 2002 - You are obviously an apostate and if we catch you drinking the wine at the Memorial, you're ass'll be out the door faster than a hog at meal time.........

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed
    If you were baptized between 1951 - 1961, you'd have a better chance of being struck by lightening than being of the annointed, but we might let you slip by if you've been really really zealous for the last half a century;

    Mary, the funny thing about this is that one of the newer members of the GB, Guy Pierce, sat in my living room a few years ago, when he was the CO here and said he was of the annonted. He also stated he didn't become a JW until 52 or 53.

    Maybe this annointed stuff is merely a status symbol for them?

    Lew W

    Watchtower Decruit

  • blondie
    blondie

    How can you tell if you have been anointed?

    Well, did you hear a rushing wind and what looked like a tongue of fire appear above your head? Did you suddenly find yourself able to speak in languages that you never knew? Or perhaps the holy spirit came down upon you in the shape of a dove? Did one of the anointed lay hands on you? Did you receive anointing by holy spirit before you were even baptized? These are cases of anointing in the Bible. It was obvious to all that these ones had received the holy spirit. There was no need to judge their spirituality and go by some timeline. God does the choosing not the WTS.

    Matthew 3

    16 And Jesus when he was baptized, went up straightway from the water: and lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove, and coming upon him;
    17 and lo, a voice out of the heavens, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

    Acts 2

    1 And when the day of Pentecost was now come, they were all together in one place.
    2 And suddenly there came from heaven a sound as of the rushing of a mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.
    3 And there appeared unto them tongues parting asunder, like as of fire; and it sat upon each one of them.
    4 And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

    Acts 8

    14 Now when the apostles that were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent unto them Peter and John:
    15 who, when they were come down, prayed for them, that they might receive the Holy Spirit:
    16 for as yet it was fallen upon none of them: only they had been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. 17 Then laid they their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.

    Acts 10

    43 To him bear all the prophets witness, that through his name every one that believeth on him shall receive remission of sins.
    44 While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Spirit fell on all them that heard the word.
    45 And they of the circumcision that believed were amazed, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Spirit.

    47 Can any man forbid the water, that these should not be baptized, who have received the Holy Spirit as well as we?

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    The Jehovah's Witness "Anointed" doctrine is a fiction, not in line with the Bible. However, the best article I ever read on it that explains "how they know" was writtin the 1952 Watchtower: Click Here: to see my earlier post: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=7411&site=3

    I openly professed to be Anointed for nearly 25 years, and I have read and reserarched every article, chapter, and point ever made by the Society on this issue. I hope you enjoy the 1952 article.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Haujobbz:

    Amazing has just referenced one of the threads that I refer to. You may find it interesting reading.

    You will have to guess what one of these i might be,ex-circuit-overseer,bible scholar,satanist high priest,ex-anointed one,trained for 12 years in vatican major seminary

    None of the above?

    Facial Hair Poll: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=33229&site=3&page=1

    Edited by - LittleToe on 29 July 2002 4:1:52

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy
    MARY POSTED:
    If you were baptized before 1935, you're of the annointed;
    If you were baptized between 1936 - 1940, you could be of the annointed;
    If you were baptized between 1941 - 1950, there's a possibility you could be of the annointed;
    If you were baptized between 1951 - 1961, you'd have a better chance of being struck by lightening than being of the annointed, but we might let you slip by if you've been really really zealous for the last half a century;
    If you were baptized between 1962 - 1975, you were running ahead of the organization, and were over-enthusiastic about being of the annointed seeing as The End was "right around the corner". Chances are you left in '76.
    If you were baptized between 1976 - 1986, there's a small window of opportunity there, cause somebody had to replace all those "apostates" at headquarters in the early 80s. By you better be DAMN enthusiastic, and a Yes Man for the rest of your LIFE!! We catch you slipping up on ANYTHING, and you won't even qualify to handle the $%^ microphones by the time we're finished with you!!
    If you were baptized between 1987 - 2000, you obviously have mental problems if you think you're of the annointed, unless you're related somehow to one of the Governing Body members and use either Oil of Olay or Grecian Formula for men.
    2001 - 2002 - You are obviously an apostate and if we catch you drinking the wine at the Memorial, you're ass'll be out the door faster than a hog at meal time.........

    The thing that I have always found to be the MOST interesting about this check list that belongs to the WTBTS is how it always (maybe by coienceidence) up-dated to fit into needs of the GB and in reality has absolutely nothing to do with being annointed. Never has and never will.

    If someone tells me they are annointed I will not challenge that. How in the hell would I or anyone else possibly know anyway?

    ANd if there is a song that only they can hear then I would take a wild guess and asume that it just might be a song that only they can hear. DUH.......If I ecpected to hear it JUST BECAUSE.....well, thats kinda oxymoron no matter how you break it down.

    If someone is anointed IMHO it's none of the GB damn business to say otherwise.

    Edited by - plmkrzy on 29 July 2002 4:18:12

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