If you were baptized before 1935, you're of the annointed;
If you were baptized between 1936 - 1940, you could be of the annointed;
If you were baptized between 1941 - 1950, there's a possibility you could be of the annointed;
If you were baptized between 1951 - 1961, you'd have a better chance of being struck by lightening than being of the annointed, but we might let you slip by if you've been really really zealous for the last half a century;
If you were baptized between 1962 - 1975, you were running ahead of the organization, and were over-enthusiastic about being of the annointed seeing as The End was "right around the corner". Chances are you left in '76.
If you were baptized between 1976 - 1986, there's a small window of opportunity there, cause somebody had to replace all those "apostates" at headquarters in the early 80s. By you better be DAMN enthusiastic, and a Yes Man for the rest of your LIFE!! We catch you slipping up on ANYTHING, and you won't even qualify to handle the $%^ microphones by the time we're finished with you!!
If you were baptized between 1987 - 2000, you obviously have mental problems if you think you're of the annointed, unless you're related somehow to one of the Governing Body members and use either Oil of Olay or Grecian Formula for men.
2001 - 2002 - You are obviously an apostate and if we catch you drinking the wine at the Memorial, you're ass'll be out the door faster than a hog at meal time.........