Certainly not one of the more common interpretations, that one!
Microphone "Handling"
by SYN 55 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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teenyuck
Hey, after JT's thread on Women in the Borg, it all just clicked!
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crownboy
Ahh SYN, you're bringing back memories, man .
Well, due to my very anemic field service time, I've been deleted from "microphone handling", and I bearly get a talk number 2 ever now (good ). However, I guess I was a bit of a "prodigy", as I got the priveldge of microphone handling at age 8; 4 years before my baptism and in a large congregation with an ample amount of brothers. Obviously, this was a cause of great pride for me and my parents at the time. However, even in my "holy days" I loved microphone handling because it removed the burden of having to comment in the meeting. Sure, you could if you wanted to, but if you didn't you wouldn't have to hear the "friends" tell you after meeting "I missed your comment today". Now that I no longer handle the mics, I find it a lot easier to blow off meetings, and especially to arrive at meeting late. I can gladly do without that "priveledge", and if I don't comment at the few meetings I still attend, I don't care anymore (hell, my non attendance is so normal now I don't get the irritating "we missed you at the last meeting" speil ).
I also had the same last minute talk quandary once, SYN. I came into the hall just after the 1st talk began, for some strange reason I looked at the school schedule and saw that my name was up for that night! (I forgot about the slip, too ) I was lucky that it was a 2nd school talk, as no one asked for my talk slip in advance, and I could afford to have a slopier talk . Well, I made my talk in all of 7 minutes (before the 1st talk finished which was already in progress when I came in), and got G's on my counsel points! I got lots of congratulations after meeting on how "well researched" my talk was (I had some old Watchtower points logged into my memory that I was able to use). I can't fathom for the life of me how people find TMS assignments hard, especially talk no. 2.
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lastcall
Hey, handlin' the mic's rocked my world. I never had such a euphoric and spiritual experience than when I was handing the mic to Bro Hypocrate and Sis Judge. Sometimes I would dry my tears of Godly joy on my square knit tie.
I remember that after I handled my "privilege", I was so anxious to go door to door and share the kingdom news with all who listened ( even though they could give a shit).
All the young ladies were "interested" when you were handling the mics. Ahhh yess. The prestige, the manliness. ( I just know those sistas where looking at my butt). When I was "handling"
the mics, I was the microphone MAN ! Remember the theme to " Saturday Night Fever" ......'AYYY Ayyyyyy AYY Ayyy Stayin' alive Stayin' alive' ......that is the music that served as the soundtrack in my mind as I handled this blessed "privilege". -
abbagail
Unfortunately, I have nothing original to add to this thread, but must say THANKS for the Zillion and One Laughs! Feeling like I was at a real dub meeting reading these posts. It's amazing to hear the "other side" of what it was really like for the fellas in the hall. This was all way too funny.
puffsrule wrote: "The microphone itself is a phallic symbol..." -- I must have a dirty mind 'cuz that was my first thought at the top of this thread. I thought for sure that was going to be the subject of this microphone discussion...
neomadman asked: "Or if I were about to approach the elders that night to confess to fornication, or something like that. How would they have known?" -- Answer: Oh, they would have known beforehand, neo, as the holy spirit would have told them, remember?
Farkel wrote: "They had real pianos with real pianists back then." -- Are we dating ourselves here? I remember the real pianos and real pianists also. It was nice, nicer that TAPED KM's, and a piano, imho, drowns out the bad singing better.
KH Politics - oh so true: "See if the sisters handled the microphones, it would be as good as a public announcement to the congregation and the other BOEs in the circuit that the elders were incompetent and unable to "groom" any baptized brothers to qualify for the "privilege."
And for some of the extra hilarious colorful phrases which not only brought 'Meeting Memories' to life, but which I enjoyed immensely, are as follows:
...ministerial serpents
...strident, opera-singer wannabe older Sisters
...anemic field service time
...even in my "holy days"
...the burden of having to comment in the meeting
...Bro Hypocrite and Sis Judge
...the less snakelike Dubs
...abysmally low-quality speaker system of the Hall
...Mother actually hissed a couple of times, she was so mad. Luckily, no one noticed this, since Dubs tend to hiss a lot...
...running about in your local neighbourhood mumbling things like "goatgoatgoatgoat"...
...mature Christian women pimped up and ready for their weekly dose of Tower
...Don't think for a second that I ever forgot my suit coat. How else would the elders know I was 'spiritual'?
..."Those without suitcoats will be cast into the lake of fire where the sister with the slit in her dress already is."
...Revelation 22:34: Whereas in the last days, many will be without suitcoat, boisterous,
puffed up with pride. And therewill be a wailing and gnashing of teeth for those who had not heard or understood the commands of our Lord Jesus to keep oneself in a suitcoat at the appointed times. Ye tho, for the brethren with no tie. It would have been better if he had not been born....tripped over that massive serpentine cord
...What a big microphone you have. Well.... I'm just gonna raise my hand until you come over here!
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Die Laughing big time! :-OThanks people!
Grits
Edited by - Grits on 30 July 2002 10:13:57
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SYN
Glad you liked it Grits!
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abbagail
No, but THANK YOU, Syn and all! I'm still laughing a day later!
Grits
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NeonMadman
neomadman asked: "Or if I were about to approach the elders that night to confess to fornication, or something like that. How would they have known?" -- Answer: Oh, they would have known beforehand, neo, as the holy spirit would have told them, remember?
Oh, RIGHT!! (slaps head)!! I forgot about that!!
That's why there are so many pedophile elders (and formerly even GB members) - because the holy spirit wants people like that in leadership positions, right?
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Monkey_Iron_Foot
Huh?
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teejay
Oh no! Not the microphone thing. I don't wanna talk about it...