Children of murdered Charleston minister have "already forgiven" their Mother's killer.

by nicolaou 24 Replies latest social current

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    Nic I agree with those that say let's cut these people some slack because they are overwhelmed with grief at the moment and are falling back on their belief systems for comfort.

    Having buried my parents and husband I have experienced something I really can't describe properly. When my mother died, we drove away from the hospital at dawn on a gorgeous May morning. The scenery looked so bright and the world seemed so beautiful, rabbits, pheasant everywhere and even a fox crossed the road. I remember thinking what a beautiful day. When my husband died something similar happened, I felt such love for everyone involved and I wanted to comfort them.

    Yes it is probably caused by a brain chemistry change brought on by shock and grief that has survival value but there is something about acute grief that makes you feel what life is all about in those few days afterward. It makes everything so real, everything so poignant, relationships so important. Death makes everything else seem trivial.

    So I agree it seems weird to say you forgive someone who has murdered your loved one and I feel sure I wouldn't feel that but what grief does to your brain chemistry plus their belief system might explain it.

    As regards forgiveness, I don't understand the concept of forgiveness in the religious sense. I think we have long memories for things that hurt us because that's how successful species survive. We remember the things that cause pain, physically and emotionally. Is the grief reaction of these people normal? Probably, within their belief system.

    Perhaps forgiveness has been the best we could come up with to help ourselves psychologically thus far in our development as a species. Now we understand the brain and the mind much more I don't think we need to necessarily forgive to recover from trauma and move on, there is therapy and more out there to help us.

  • flipper
    flipper

    LAIKA- Advocating for peace does not include forgiving an insane madman who has shattered 9 lives which will affect multiple people's destiny- the friends, children, and spouses of those deceased victims who were murdered. There is NO justification for it- there should be no excuses by religionists saying that it somehow makes them BETTER by forgiving this asshole. Because it doesn't make them a better person - just ignorantly trying to find some solace to heal their wounds. Which I understand yes, to get by temporarily- but in the end it does more damage than good by not grieving properly through sadness and anger not being expressed and all bottled up inside their emotions.

    I'm NOT advocating some kind of anarchy or rebellion - just do something more positive like advocate to politicians for more reform, write letters to congressmen- but don't forgive this murderer, he does not deserve anything. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    These young people have every right to forgive this . . . person, but to an extent I think it takes away from their humanity; a humanity which, if Roof possesed, might have helped him avoid such an evil course.

    Roof became disconnected from his humanity probably through his choice of company, I don't know I'm no psychiatrist. But clearly, similar influences can also detach very good people from their natural human instincts.

    I am NOT equating these poor victims with Roof but I do think there is a freakishly disturbing reflection lurking in the shadows.

    Irrationality leads us into inhumanity.

  • blondie
    blondie
    I consider it like my "forgiving" my pedophile father, that is letting go of my hate and moving on, not causing damage to myself. He never admitted it or apologized but I was able to heal. But I admit that the voice of one had the words of forgiveness but not the sound of it in their voice.
  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    Forgive me for asking Blondie but how long did it take you to forgive your Father? Genuine question.

    It's the timescale here that is jarring.

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