Do dubs deal with death better than others? (page 2)

knighthawk1981

reborn, you are my kind of poster....lets invade the Watchtower!

Gopher

Has anyone had THIS kind of experience at a JW funeral or memorial service???

Back in the 80's, an elder in a North Minneapolis congregation died young in a tragic auto accident, and left behind a widow and 2 children. He was known as a happy-go-lucky (goofy) guy.

Anyhow at the memorial service, the people were talking and chatting up a storm --some even laughing. Standing in the back, I heard one person (can't remember if they were JW or not) remark: "These JW's are way too happy for an occasion like this".

That person was exactly right. I would have preferred a little sadness to this "denial" coping mechanism that this group seemed to have.

maxwell

I don't know that Jehovah's Witnesses deal with death any better than others. I think that the reason religions exist is to give people a comforting hope of some afterlife, whether it be in heaven, russurection on earth, or reincarnation to something in the universe. I'm no historian, but it seems like just about every culture had some religion with a belief of an afterlife, but also has some grieving customs despite this belief in afterlife. My grandmother, a long time JW, grieved loudly at every funeral I ever saw her go to. And I only saw her in Kingdom Hall funerals. I don't know about funerals now, but most funerals when I was young would include a walk by the open casket and have one last look. Whenever my grandmother would get up to walk by, she would break down loudly and vocally moaning, whaling, crying. The only thing missing would be "ripping her garments" (remember the Isrealites). Some people of course would be trying to comfort her (maybe just quiet her) like my aunt and my grandfather. But my dad once told me that there was merit to the way my grandmother dealt with it. She always got her grief out immediately. I remember being over my grandmother's house one day when someone called with the news that someone had died. I don't even think it was someone really close in the family, but she immediately broke down loudly. Nobody else in the family would break down so loudly. I remember when my aunt, my grandmother's daughter-in-law, died. Although my uncle cried, he wasn't nearly as visibly grief-stricken as my grandmother. However, I think in the long run it affected my uncle worse. He has had other problems in the years since then. They are/were both JW's. So my opinion is that belief in an afterlife does not prevent one from dealing with death. However, one needs to grieve and deal with death no matter what your beliefs. I think JW's deal with death in various ways and some do it better than others. I've never had anyone really close to me die. So I've never had a real urge to cry at a funeral. But I was afraid for my mother once. She was in hospital and I saw her in a lot of pain. It was very scary and I cried when I left the room with her. I was still a JW then, but the thought of losing her was really scary. It turned out to be gall stones. Not usually a life-threatening thing. But I learned that the grieving emotions are there. When it happens, hopefully I can deal with it. Your psyche has to go through the process.

BluesBrother

"Better than others? " it depends who the others are.

I am sure that a faith in a future life will of any kind always mitigate the pain , as against those who do not believe in any afterlife. My last words to my Mother were "Even if the worst happens, you know we will meet in the resurrection, and nothing can take that away" When she died, I firmly believed she would return to Earth , looking young again and in good health and would never die again.

If I had to deal with such a loss now, it would be much harder

MikeMusto

they cry like everyone else.

family and friends.

two speakers i know broke down

Satanus

While i was a jw, my younger brother died. I felt nothing. To this day i still feel nothing about his death. Maybe one day grief will surface.

A few weeks ago, my grandfather, whom i saw only once in the last 40 yrs died peacefully, in his sleep, without sickness, at a hundred years. He had stopped eating a few days before. It sounds like a natural death of a saintly man. I wish i would have seen him once before he left.

SS

Edited by - saintsatan on 2 August 2002 12:1:34

Edited by - saintsatan on 2 August 2002 12:16:2

Mary

It depends on the situation. Because Witnesses are always trained to concentrate on "the near future" and never the present, alot will find comfort in their belief that "soon" they will be reunited with their loved ones. That is why quite often after a family member has died, you'll find alot will become very fanatical in the religion: pioneering, etc. because they HAVE to make sure that they're there in the New System to "welcome these ones back from the dead."

My personal experience though when a family member died, was quite different. I found little comfort thinking that they are simply dead in the ground. I found far more comfort thinking that if there was an afterlife, I'd rather them be there than dead in the ground.

I saw a few scriptures in a different light, most notably when Jesus promised the evildoer: Truly I tell you today, you will be with me in Paradise."

Ya, I know the Society puts the comma after "you", but every other instance where Jesus spoke in these terms, there was no "comma" after it.

I also found comfort in 2 Corthinthians chapter 15 where one verse says "If there is a physical body, there is a spiritual body." That to me, strongly indicates that something DOES happen at death.

Alot of JWs actually deal with death alot worse than "wordly" people, simply because we are taught that we'll never have to worry about growing old and dying in this system. Nor will we have to watch our parents grow old and die in this system.

Naturally, we all have to, but seeing as alot are not prepared for this, they don't know how to deal with it when it happens.

scumrat

THEY LEAVE EVERYTHING UP TO HO-HOVAH. SO THEY DON'T NEED TO FEEL.

Xander

Well, if you call denial 'dealing with it', then sure, they do it just fine.

I mean 'no need to cry - they are just sleeping' is about as deep in denial as you can get.

NO - they're NOT sleeping - they're friggin DEAD...helllooOOOooo...everything is NOT okay, thank you very much.....

Preston

I was young and naive then. In hindsight, I wish I had punched him in the fucking mouth and knocked out his front 4 teeth.
I hate the JW's.

Thanx reborn, I felt the same exact way when my grandmother died.

Do dubs deal with death better than others?

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