A Gap In My Knowledge. (page 2)

Mulan

I was told recently that if a person were to just 'walk away', they are to be treated as a disassociated person. I can't confirm that, but it is being said in their ranks.

bigboi

What's the criteria used by JW's to DA or DF someone who has simply ceased to attend meetings or go out on door to door work? What's the deciding factors that start up a witness witch-hunt against such one's?

This is my situation Englishman.

I was only baptized for 2 yrs when I walked away. Besides the occassional invite to have a visit with the C.O. and and elder visiting my job asking what happened, I wasn't harassed much by the elders.

However, I had to endure a rather vindictive campaign of character assination by Witness who happened to be a co-worker of mine. Although they had to send back my appointment as a MS, my departure at least from an official standpoint has been quite uneventful. I would have to echo Onacruse's sentiments though. I once overheard on a job 2 elders describing how a fellow elder with questions about statements made in earlier publications by the Society was threatened by the C.O. He was told by the C.O. and this is an exact quote " Now look we can do this either of 2 ways the quiet way or we can get ugly, it's all up to you." I wonder if the average witness would believe a C.O. talking to another elder like that, in a meeting where they asked for Jehovah's holy spirit beforehand. By the end of that week the brother was relieved of his priveleges.

ONE....

bigboi

hillary_step

E'Man,

As most things within the WTS, you ability to depart without repercussions is dependent on the congregation, area, and the type of elders who make up the body. Though there was a little more focus put on those leaving after the 'Franz' incident, this was generally only for those appointed to positions within the Organization. Many elders took on heavier secular responsibilities, played on 'burn-out' and depression as a means of escape, which worked and still works in most congregations that I know of.

Though the elders school last year encouraged elders to be more visible and aggressive in their pursuit of the 'inactive', most do not seem to have been terribly enthused by this command.

The easiest way out for women and those not in positions of responsibility to leave, is to say absolutely nothing about JW issues over a period of a year to begin missing meetings. When visited plead health and family concerns. The absolutely best way for anyone to leave is to have a personality dispute with someone within the WTS and use expressions like 'I will not go to that hall while they are there', or 'When you sort out so-and-so I will return'. This is a good release for elders who can then label a person spiritually weak, but not due to any controversial reason. Most elders do not know how to handle this sort of complaint very efficiently, as they to have had the same feelings at times....lol

Once a person speaks negatively about doctrine or writes negatively about issues, they have made a rod for their own backs and some sort of action would probably be taken. It cannot be mentioned enough times that a slow exit, carefully planned to take into account, family and financial reaction to a post WTS life is the most sensible way forward. I have seen too many XJW's come down in smoke and ash from trying to take on a system which allows no territory for quitters. Confrontation can give short term satisfaction, only to give way to long term regrets.

No-one gets out of life alive, and no-one leaves the WTS without scars of some sort - preparation though can lessen the pain of both these events.

Best - HS

Edited by - hillary_step on 3 August 2002 19:25:36

Grunt

I just faded and it worked well. Moved to another state, never attended and never had a problem with any except family. It used to be that DA was a LOT different than being DF'd, no matter what the official position was. If you were DF'd you were shunned, DA'd you weren't. That changed with the information age, now they treat the two about the same, see the Kingdom Ministry. I think as more and more negative/honest information comes out they will have to get tighter and tighter with the ones left just to keep them. Sad. I had thought there might be some reapproachment with my daughter as time passed and she realized what a pissant she was being but as a zealot I am sure she will take the KM to heart. Say, Englishman, just wanted to mentionwhat a beautiful backyard you have. It looked like a great place to just sit back and be.

Grunt

Englishman

The absolutely best way for anyone to leave is to have a personality dispute with someone within the WTS and use expressions like 'I will not go to that hall while they are there', or 'When you sort out so-and-so I will return'. This is a good release for elders who can then label a person spiritually weak, but not due to any controversial reason.

The old "spiritually weak" ploy!

Excellent, thank you! Are you getting this, all you wannabeeouts?

Englishman.

bikerchic

I did the slow fade out, then moved 50 miles away from my congo.....no one called, no one cared! boohoo :( Just kept it simple although as Hillary_Step said:

'I will not go to that hall while they are there', or 'When you sort out so-and-so I will return'.

That pretty much applied to me also, it's hard attending the same hall as the woman who slept with your husband, and keeping a smile on your face.

bc (Look who's smilin' now!)

"Life is like a ten speed bike, we all have gears we never use." Charles Schultz

Max Divergent

I guess stories like: "I'm outraged! The elders left me alone and didn't do anything after I fobbed them off about not going to meetings for a month/year/decade", or "Can you believe what happened!! I didn't get a shepherding visit/judicial committee/third degree on schedule after I quietly and politely slipped away causing no ripples" aren't very memorable and don't leave the impression the more dramatic stories of inequity do.

My recollection from the Shepherding work was that there were quite a few people around who no longer believed but lived quiet lives and caused no problems just as you described. We just called on them out of duty and (an odd form of) courtesy.

Those you describe who just dont believe probably dont talk about it much.

Cheers, Max (who did a rapid-fade, and now lives a quiet life in the country away from the urban hurly-burly where those three might meet again to revisit battles neither lost nor won...)

(Edited to replace punctuation that vanished into the ether)

Edited by - Max Divergent on 4 August 2002 1:2:16

Scarlet

My husband and I just walked away 3 years ago. We no longer go to meetings and rarely associate with them but if people see us they will stop and talk to us. I guess we were in the middle of moving to another area in the county and when we moved and they never kept track of us. They also think since everyone in my family is a wittness and my husbands mother is a wittness that they would encourge us to come back. I don't think anyone really cares that we left. By that time all of my friends had been disfellowshiped and I had been disallusioned for many years. I never wanted to be there and I think they could see that I just kind of did the motions.

Edited by - Scarlet on 4 August 2002 2:43:33

A Gap In My Knowledge.

Share this