Your Apartment Stories, Please

Bendrr

This is my first weekend in my new apartment. So that gave me the idea to start a fun thread.

How about your apartment stories? Favorite/least favorite apartment you've had or maybe now live in? Favorite/least favorite landlords and neighbors.

I'll start the ball rolling.

I had a very nice place for the last year or so. In the downtown historic district, in a house built in the 1800's. My apartment was a wing built onto the back of the house. Originally it was the house's kitchen and a breezeway, since many houses in those days had the kitchens isolated from the rest of the house as fire protection. The landlord renovated the whole house in the 80's and did a great job. It was well insulated and there were no noise issues with my neighbors in the rest of the house. Central heat and air, ceiling fans, 10-foot ceilings, dishwasher, a huge walk-in closet, and the bedroom was gargantuan.

I really liked it but I was paying $450/month rent. Now if I'm going to shell out that kind of money, I'd rather it be to buy instead of rent. I explained that to my landlord and she fully agreed, even returned my deposit!

Not quite ready to buy a house yet though.

So in my search for a cheaper apartment I totally lucked out. Found one only two blocks south on the same street (College Street for those of you familiar with Macon) for only $300. Now it is smaller but it still has central heat and air and it's plenty enough room for me and my cockatiel. She's happy with it, too. It's a basement apartment, but not all the way underground. My windows are at ground level. It's an old three-story brick house with an accountant's office on the main floor, therefore no noisy neighbors above me. There's another basement apartment next to me but I have yet to hear any noise. And the third floor is also an apartment. Plus, or I should say BONUS, the other two apartments are occupied by very pretty girls! Hopefully I'll meet them soon! The living room has this really neat sort of skylight on the outside wall and the room is laid out perfect for my surround-sound system. The apartment is built around the brick columns of the house's foundation, so my sheetrock walls are punctuated by the brick which really gives the place some character. One of the big columns is in my living room and it's a perfect place to hang this Patrick Nagel painting I got for Xmas a couple of years ago. The heat is gas, but the oven and stove is electric. I really hate that, I prefer to cook on gas. And I'll miss the hell out of the dishwasher in the old place. Oh and no washer/dryer connections so I'm gonna have to make some myself. At least Bellsouth said I can move my ADSL service here which is great because dial-up totally sucks! They'll have it transferred here next week. I'll post a pic of that neato skylight so you can see what I'm talking about.

I don't really have a "least favorite" because I can be comfortable pretty much anywhere as long as it has electricity and indoor plumbing.

I would have to say my favorite is the first apartment I had when I moved to Macon in '97. The house was in a bad area, Macon's Houston Avenue section. But it was on a reasonably peaceful side street. Another old historic house. 12-foot ceilings, hardwood floors, and an enormous living room. The living room measured 18' by 18' and was one hell of a place for my surround sound system. Ok, I'll admit it. When I look for an apartment I do take that into consideration.

So what's your story?

Mike.

tdogg

Had a bottom unit with mexican nationals upstairs with 3 young kids who would jump off the bed onto the floor (my ceiling) early in the morning while blasting mexican music (close to the most horrible music in the world imo). I could hear the guy next to me snoring through the walls. I could hear the guy upstairs taking a whiz at night. The outside stairs were concrete and steel and brilliantly attached to the walls of the units and kids would walk up and down 3 flights with their rollerblades on. The mexicans moved out and a redneck couple moved in. They came complete with all redneck features including the drunken argument/wife and kid beatings. Apartments suck.

zenpunk

When I lived in Ireland, I rented a summer house in the dead of winter for 20 pound a week. Complete with no heat, no hot water, and no insulation. I used to wear 3 layer of clothes to be and sleep in a sleeping bag with a hat on my head. I vowed that whenever I finally got my own place I would crank the heat as high as I wanted. And I do every winter.

StinkyDrawz

I lived for the better part of five years in what could be best described as a 12 story red brick slum. Infested with cockroaches, german brown rats and worst of all, damned State-supported lunatics! Apparently, the landlords (or slumlords) had an agreement with the State Mental Health authority to house any and all crazy bastards in the same building that "normal" people were allowed to rent apartments! I have seen things that most Americans can only imagine (or watch on Howard Stern).

Things I have seen:

A naked AIDS patient walking casually through the lobby while I talked on the payphone to a friend.*
A man shitting in the back of the building (outside), being startled by my untimely arrival and upon jumping up & wiping his ass with a piece of paper at light speed calls out, "How's it goin', man?"
A loon setting his door on fire from the inside, filling the building with smoke, and then screaming that he is locked IN!
Coming home one night from work to find the back hallway and stairwell streaked and spattered with human blood and bits of gore hanging from the back door's inside handle (a hooker was stabbed by a john, and she fled down the stairwell and through the back exit).
Homosexual men giving each other blowjobs in that same back door entryway.
A large, bald black man screaming "SHRIMP!" at passing cars with the energy and conviction most people only reserve for obscenities.
On two separate occasions, crazy men locking themselves in their apartments, calling 911 and threatening to shoot any police that might happen to come over to visit. Strangely enough, the police soon arrived to visit with the freak. No police were shot.
My across-the-hall neighbor was murdered by his homosexual lover while I was home watching Seinfeld and eating a Budget Gourmet meal. I didn't even hear anything.
The gay ex-manager of the building used to have sex parties in the empty (but fully furnished) penthouse apartment.
Another neighbor was accosted my yet another (!) neighbor when he walked right into her apartment (she forgot to lock her door) and punched her in her face while she was sleeping.
Piles of gay erotica left by the homo-porn fairy right in front of the elevator on the 2nd floor (stacks of magazines and books).

And much, much more!......

I am sure you ask, "But why did you stay?"

The answer is......It was cheap. All bills paid. Free do-it-yourself cable TV. My rental history/credit report sucks. And where would I be able to see such wonderful sights?

They should have paid ME to live there.

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Edited by - stinkydrawz on 3 August 2002 20:59:31

bigboi

oops seemed like i stumbled onto the wrong thread

as evidenced by the shots fired at and into folks.

i'm out!

Edited by - bigboi on 3 August 2002 21:40:7

StinkyDrawz

Oops, forgot to write in the sidenote for the first experience.

* When the naked, Kaposi's Sarcoma-ridden mutant came strolling through the lobby, he started heading toward me while I was chatting on the phone with a friend. I shouted to him that I was on the phone with the police and they were coming to arrest him. He cried out, "I repent...I repent!!" and ran to the elevator. He got into the elevator and disappeared. As the elevator returned to the lobby floor, a really cute blond came walking out....looking visibly shaken. I asked her if she had to share the elevator with a nude, purple spot-covered freak. She said yes.

Poor girl.

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Bendrr

Ok, Stinkydrawz. I have nothing that even comes close. Worst I can say about my current and last apartments is that my car got broke into once.

Several years ago I did fire a warning shot at a trespasser, tho.

Mike.

StinkyDrawz

Hmm, shooting at someone sounds fun....there were several occasions I would have liked to fire a warning shot into a slum resident or two.

I also lived at another apartment where I watched a gang shooting occur right outside my window. A black kid ended up with a .45 slug through his face, and the whole time I was sitting within arm's reach of my loaded AK-47 with a 30 round magazine. Oh, the temptation I faced that day....

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sunshineToo

Bendrr, you were paying $450 and looked for a cheaper apartment??????????????

WHERE DO YOU LIVE??????????????????????? In where I am people think $1,000 per month one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher is a GREAT deal! Now I'm going to move out to rent a house soon, and I'm expecting to pay at least $1,700, no more like $2,000 per month for 3-bedroom 2-bath house.

DanTheMan

A large, bald black man screaming "SHRIMP!" at passing cars with the energy and conviction most people only reserve for obscenities

Too bizarre to be made-up. That is hilarious!!

The apartments I lived in were always of the generic beige carpet and white walls variety. Nothing romantic about them.

Your Apartment Stories, Please

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