I honestly thought I was happy as a Witness, I had more than enough friends for every day of the week, a relatively good social life, a pretty substantial list of return visits, a Bible study who hung on my every word, the respect of the elders and the love of all the JW kids who all called me Auntie. I did as I was told and enjoyed the praise and pats on the back. I enjoyed doing items on the platform and was doing well in the school.
Then as many here have experienced - I had doubts about some things, some people, some behaviour that was being overlooked, one rule for some, another rule for others. I asked questions. I didn't like the answers, or the attitude that came with those answers. I left. Apparently it caused a great stir in the congregation and a lot of people were very disturbed by it and confused.
I then started to make a life for myself, a life I could be proud of, a life that was based on really helping people, not filling their heads with false hopes. And now I know what true happiness is. Giving without expecting any reward at the end of it. Helping people with no hidden agendas and motives. Listening and talking to people without trying to find a way to bring the organisation into the conversation. Life is no longer about filling in time sheets and reports, handing in slips on time, trying to prove to other people that you are worthy. Instead of doing good deeds just to make a good witness, good deeds can now be done just for the sake of making your heart glad, you are no longer accountable to the society. No one is judging you.
I am sad that so many of my old friends can still be blinded by the promises and the threats of the organisation but happy to be free myself, there is little that I can do as a disassociated person to reach out to them but hopefully through my example and my blatent happiness (always walking around with my head held high and a smile on my face!) I have at least shown them that there is indeed a happy life available to them outside of the confines of the organisation.