Well, I went to see my parents last night. It was the first I had seen or spoken to my mother in over 8 months. I also was able to see my nephew who is almost 2 and whom I haven't see in exactly a year. I got to see my younger sister too when she came by to pick up her kid.
All in all I guess it went okay. To my suprise they asked more about my life than I thought they would and not to my surprise they didn't ask enough to show they really cared about what was going on in my life. After teh wide variety of advice I received on how to handle things (thank to all btw), I decided not to reveal too much of myself unless they asked. It's not like I didn't share anything with them. I told them how I was going to Costa Rica in 7 weeks, my boyfriend Nick had shoulder recnstructive surgery lst Sept., about his brothers new baby. But these conversations were just spun off of things they were talking about.
I did tell them I was moving to Monterey when my dad asked if I was still traveling back & forth almost every weekend to see Nick. They didn't ask for many specifics other than to inquire about what I was going to do for work. Later my mom asked why I was moving & I simply told her it was because I was tired of a long distance relationship.
When I left I hugged them and thanked them for inviting me over. They made no mention of doing it again, nor did they inquire when I was specifically moving so that they could see me before I go. Oh well. You take what you can get, right? It was all worth it though just to see my nephew. He is so cute, talking and running around all over the place. He even gave me a kiss goddbye when he left. What's funny is that when talking about him they all told me how clumsy he is. In fact, he sat on the couch with me and had to point out to me all of his ouchies. They all mentioned how he was just like me in that respect. When I was a young kid my family went camping and I spilled my drink at every meal all week long. I didn't grow out of it either, as a teenager I spilled a 32 oz. Bilg Gulp in the same spot on the carpet in the living room over a span of years. It kinda makes me feel good that despite me not having much to do with his life, he's got some of my qualities (albeit not the greatest ones) that can remind my family of me all the time.
It's wierd that although it went alright, I almost felt worse afterwards. Like it's something within your grasp you can't have. It feels like a tease because I know no matter how much they relax in their treatment of me, I will never have the extremely close relationship I once had. Not unless they miraclously left "the truth," (yeah, when hell becomes hot!) I've just come to realize and accept that although they are still & will always be my parents, my father & mother, they are no longer my mom & dad. How sad!
On the drive home I called Nick to tell him how it went. He tries to be so upbeat about it, telling me to remember how much they love me. Of course his tune sorta changed when he asked if they asked about him or said to say hello to him and I had to admit they did not at all. Mind you, they met him in person over a year ago when we had them to my house & made them dinner. (this was after my dad refused to let me take them out to diner because he told me he couldn't be seen with me in public, lest it might stumble someone!) Nick has also called my parents without me knowing, begging for them to mend their relationship with me, asking if there was anything he could do to help. He has spoken to my mother twice, both times for over an hour. And he just spoke to my dad about 4 months ago. He was very hurt that they would be so rude and not ask how he was doing or even extend a hello. Poor guy, he's got more obstacles to overcome than Ben Stiller did in Meet the Parents. (great movie!)
Anyway, sorry to babble on about this. I'm really not even looking for a reply from anyone...just wanted to get it off my chest. Glad I'm headed to Monterey tomorrow...I desperately need a hug from Nick!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Shauna