Hi -New Here

by RandomTask 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • RandomTask
    RandomTask

    I want to share since I'm new here! I was more or less born into the JW religion and raised as one. My mom was a pretty strict believer, but she didn't get baptized until I was 9, "surprisingly" my parents got divorced three years later. (my father was not a witness)

    I was always looked down upon in the congregation because of this, no father, because my mom had to work for the first time in her life we were pretty poor. So since I didn't have any friends I tried to be more "spiritual" by answering at meetings, giving better talks, going out in service, etc... It didn't gain me respect, but I did get some priveleges, eventually becoming a MS when I was 19-20. I had a lot of zeal and was even afraid of looking at "apostate" sites on the internet back then.

    Things changed though when I got married. I was able to talk to someone about my doubts, my wife. Since she never really wanted to be a witness anyway but went along because her whole family was she had an open mind about the witnesses. We started to see together the hypocricy in the congregaton, that there really wasn't any love, that everyone was in their little cliques and the brothers were more concerned that certain ones were pioneers than the fact that they may lead a loose lifestyle. They seemed to look the other way. It was these sorts of things that motivated me and my wife to just stop going to meetings. I don't feel that I could have gotten out without my wife being the way that she is, but her lack of brainwashing helped her to see things quite clearly. In fact I would say that I was more brainwashed than she was. We felt there was no way that this could be gods organization.

    Her parents and my mom tried to convince us to wait on Jehovah, they had seen the same things that we have but still believed that it was God's organization. But we already had serious doubts about even major doctinal issues and this was even without doing any research on the internet! So we have only stated to our parents that we just didn't like the atmosphere at the meetings and thats all. It kept them from turning us in and shunning us I guess. After a couple of years of not going to the meetings they have all but ceased trying to get us to come back, they didn't even ask us to attent the District Convention this past year, I'm hoping that Memorial will come and go next year without a word, but we will probably have to go. The price we pay I guess to still have contact with our parents.

    I used to sometimes wonder if we made the right choice or not, whether the Watchtower is really god's organization, but after careful research I have been fully assured in my mind that it is definitely not. The only problem is I wish I could share this information with my family members, to keep them from wasting their lives further in the BORGanization, but I have to constantly bite my toungue around them. I value my realtionship with them too much. But it really is sad.

    Its sad when I see my newly baptized 18 year old brother in law put off college because he gets no support from his parents who would rather see him scrape by doing some menial job for no pay and be a "good witness". Its sad when my even younger sister in law is encouraged by her mother to go to a special high school where she only has to go to school two days a week so she can go out in service the rest of the week and be a "good witness". Its sad when I see her probably someday soon marrying some guy when she's 18 and being a witness house slave for the rest of her life. It's sad when I see my whole family growing old, putting off real life because they are in expectation of some fantasy paradise where 6 Billion people will be killed.

    So I have to go on, smiling when they talk about the latest magazine article or talk, or how this event or that event is signaling that "its getting closer" when I know they will probably die of old age in "this system", a whole life in expectation of the great pumpkin.

    So I really wish I could write that DA letter to my local congregation like so many of you have here. I'd be free to say who I am and where I live, but because of my family I have to hide all of that. I really salute the courage of you who have made that choice and wish that someday I could do that with the rest of my family.

    Edited by - RandomTask on 5 August 2002 1:47:13

    Edited by - RandomTask on 5 August 2002 16:36:22

  • Celia
    Celia

    Welcome RandomTask !

    a whole life in expectation of the great pumpkin.

    That about sums it all !

  • zenpunk
    zenpunk

    Welcome - great experience. I'm glad you guys made it out together.

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm out but my wife and most of her family are still in and I have to occasionally bite my tongue also. I had a studying relative over trying to explain that major shift in the generation doctrine and the really hardcore JWs relatives got all bent out of shape because they thought the studying relative was nitpicking the organization. I'm just waiting for the perfect opportunity to introduce then to the UN fiasco. That should really blow them out the water. <div class=quote>So I really wish I could write that DA letter to my local congregation like so many of you have here. I'd be free to say who I am and where I live, but because of my family I have to hide all of that.</div> I'd take the advice of some on the board and not even worry about writing a DA letter to them. DA'ing is something dreamth up by their service\legal department to further pidgeonhole you into one of their neat little categories. I think it also signals further subservience to them by playing by their rules even during your exit. Just walk away and don't look back. Oh..and BTW...welcome to the board !!!!!!

    Edited by - out4good3 on 5 August 2002 17:13:0

  • Ice Blue
    Ice Blue

    Hi Random

    I too exist here in an anonymous state, largely for the same reasons, but in reverse. My daughter and son-in-law are JWs, and they bring me mags, books, news etc (I haven't been to a meeting for 6 years). They are my only family - I cannot just walk away and desert them. That's how it would feel anyway - it's bad enough living this half life, without going all the way and encountering complete severance. At least this way I can still feed them with bits of information - and live in hope of change.

    Hang on in there

    Ice

  • dsgal
    dsgal

    Hi Random,

    I am also a newbie here but I tell you what people here are a lot friendlier than most at the kh.They act like they will be df'd from their clique if they're seen with someone who isn't in the "in crowd".I heard more gossip when I would go with a car group than I ever heard from a "worldly" person.And these were elder's wives! I imagine they talked about me too when I wasn't there.They would also make fun of certain ones in the cong.Anyway,I finally got so tired of all the backbiting,gossip and the way they look down on some that I just walked away.No DA letter,no nothing, just made like a bakery truck and hauled buns out of there! I also wonder about the revision of the word "generation" and why the number of memorial partakers isn't decreasing.This is a question I have posted on this board.

  • YoursChelbie
    YoursChelbie

    Welcome!

    I'm glad that you made the journey out with your wife.

    I share your feelings about the way that so many young people are "not encouraged" to pursue higher education. They won't be getting any help from the WTS when they find that that they aren't adequately prepared for retirement due to the "soon-to-come apocalypse" doctrine.

    Its sad when I see my newly baptized 18 year old brother in law put off college because he gets no support from his parents who would rather see him scrape by doing some menial job for no pay and be a "good witness".

    I hope that you and your wife continue to share your thoughts with us.

    YoursChelbie

  • witchywoman
    witchywoman

    Welcome aboard Random!

    I know it`s hard when you have people that you love still in there. I wish I could just yank my daughter out of there. I`ve tried and learned that that is the wrong aproach. I have noticed that she does and says things that are not typical of a jw. Example: Life is too short to spend it being upset. That is not jw thinking and it is a start for her and me.

    Keep on trying.

    witchywoman

  • Trotafox
    Trotafox

    Welcome, Random. Look forward to more of your posts.

    Trot

    Edited by - Trotafox on 5 August 2002 22:10:54

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Welcome to the board Random and I hope soon you're wife makes her introduction here also.

    I can't believe how accurately you posted my life.....ha cept I'm a chic and way older than you. I'm glad you got out in your younger years, you have so much to look forward to and to experience. Just put the Borg behind you, honor your parents don't give in to all that crap about DAing yourselves it just gives crediance to the Borg and how wrong they are to label and shun people. It's just wrong to break up families over religion after all it's the "love among them...." yeah right!

    My wish for you and your wife is to live quietly the life you want to live. My hat's off to you both and I wish you all the success life can muster up for ya!

    bc

    "Life is like a ten speed bike, we all have gears we never use." Charles Schultz

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