My mom and sister came for a visit this past weekend. It was a good weekend.
At one point, I asked Sis about the new tattoos I noticed that she now has. "What prompted you to do it?" She said it was something she always wanted to do, that it was on her list of "things to do before I die."
My mother thought the line about the "list" was funny, so Sis asked her, "Don't you have a list of things YOU want to do before you die?"
Mom reacted as though the question was just about the silliest thing she'd ever heard. "Girl, for one, everything I want to do I'll do in the New Order. And second, I ain't gonna die."
She was dead serious. I didn't say a word. Didn't even look up.
I just thought: which is worse
a) living out your entire life in mindless, never-ending "theocratic" pursuits, never getting to pursue ANY of your dreams because you actually believe in your heart of hearts that you *will* get the chance when god does his thing, or
b) being totally happy--totally at peace--about that very fact, like my mother is.
I don't know, but despite her total acceptance of the state of her life, I couldn't help but feel very, very sad for my mother. Then again, she's probably happier than a lot of the rest of us. Who knows.