Inactive JW attemps suicide........

by Robinhood 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Robinhood

  Hello my husband Robinhood had been posting our story here and will continue soon! However, something happened this week that brought out the anger and rage against the JW's with me and I really need to vent. I guess I got a good look at how the Borg is treating the people of Sherwood.

  So I too will remain anonymous to protect my husband. (Although - I really could care less!!!!). For now I will be named Marianne (Get it??????)

  Last week we got a call from a friend in the sheriff's office telling us that someone we knew had tried to commit suicide. We have known this person for 17 years and Robinhood has known him even longer. He used to work for RH (Robinhood). He is a really nice guy. It was hard to believe. We also found out that he was inactive like us. We did not know this because we had lost touch and did not want to stir the waters ...if you know what I mean????? We leave people alone if they leave us alone. If they want to remain a JW that is their choice......Just like not being one is MY CHOICE!

  I too suffered from depression.. about 7 years ago. I felt suicidal and just happened to tell a worldly friend. They encouraged me to go to the doctor and seek help which I did fortunately.. I was put on antidepressants and saw a therapist. I am so thankful that I shared my feelings that day with this person. I shudder to think where I'd be right now if I'd sought help from the Borg. By the way I got off antidepressants 1.5 yrs ago..Yea! I'm happy again on my own! There are some wonderful things out there for us to experience and so many things to bring joy!

  I've been reading the posts on here about JW and mental illness. I can't say they cause it .. BUTthey certainly do not help it. I also think people from dysfunctional families or people having a hard time are more drawn to JW's. Think of all the people you know. Most I've thought about have been contacted or love bombed during a hard time in their life. The JW's show up with ALL the answers. Paradise earth! God's Kingdom!

  If you have a problem with depression they usually never tell you to seek a doctor's help, antidepressants or a therapist. Goodness... they may turn you away from the Borg! As my story here will show people.

  Back to our friend. He was taken to the local hospital and evaluated. They deemed that he was not in a mental state to return home (thanks to his JW mother in law speaking to the doctor) they made a court order to send him to the State Hospital (mental facility) in the surrounding area. The local elders went to see him in the local hospital and the next day one of them followed him to the State Hospital. The second day he was in the State Hospital the one who followed him to the hospital went to see him..... Now keep in mind this person is depressed enough to attemptsuicide, feels like there is no hope, he's not worthy /good enough to continue living! He worked at a company for 13 years and the company decided to move out of the states for cheaper labor & more profit. He started a new job and his wife (whom I'll not BASH even though I want to very badly!) called his new job told them he was suffering depression and couldn't handle the job .. he was fired that day...the wife then called him and said she was divorcing him!.....What a day huh?????? How would a HEALTHTY PERSON react to all of this??? Much less someone who is battling depression???? That night he made the suicide attempt. That elder had the audacity to tell him that the reason he was having all these problems ............

  WAS.......STANDARD WTBTS BULLSHIT! YOUR NOT GOING TO THE MEETINGS.....NOT ENOUGH PRAYER ETC. YOUR PROBLEMS ARE "YOUR" FAULT! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.. NOW TELL ME.......!!!!!!!!! IS THAT WHAT SOMEONE WHO JUST ATTEMPTED SUICIDE NEEDS TO HEAR??? ISN'T THIS GUY FEELING ENOUGH GUILT, FEAR, ANGER, ANXIETY, FEELING OF WORTHLESSNESS, ETC. WITHOUT ADDING TO IT!

  What type of degree or credentials do elders have to be giving councel to people with depression..Personally while I was going through my depression going to the meetings was the last thing I wanted to do... I felt like they were expecting too much from me! I just could not give anymore. My first husband died as a result of NO BLOOD TRANSFUSION!, I then pioneered with a child under 2 years old for a few years, remarried , I had to start working full time after marrying RH, he was so busy I had to take care of B - study with child. Not to mention other things.. I always tried to follow the Borgs suggestions (literally) and just got overwhelmed.. No matter how much I did it was not enough....I remember one of the last WT articles that pushed me over the edge. It said that unless you studied/prepaired for meetings for at least 2 hrs that (maybe) {{{{ I always liked their wording don't you'll?}}} you don't have an appreciation for Jehovah. Well I did not have 2hrs (nobody else does either) but I thought this is the last straw... It's just TOO MUCH. The people writing this DO NOT LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD! This does not even count all of the A--holes who would make smartass comments everytime you entered the KH. I got to the point I got MAD and started picking apart every magazine and every talk.. Then I started questioning....A religion shouldn't make people feel like that. I even hated God because of the way the Borg pictured him. I did not want a GOD like that... So more doubts / thoughts. Okay I've digressed from the story.. this is not about me.

  We visited him and his family tonight. His father is a former elder who is now only attending meetings on Sundays...Depression. He was there for the corporate take over by the want to be Elders. Once we left they turned on him. The person who attempted suicide is a former Minsterial Servant.

  By the way once Robinhood starts writing again he'll tell you all about the congregation they attend and the political backstabbing that went on in the elder body and how they basically ran us out of town. Yep! We were sent there to help by the CO and the local boys did not like it! I say political because once you start going to the congregation and politicing about your position in the hall.... that is what it is...right????

  Our friend is home now with his family where he belongs and is trying to get help... The Borg however are on his tail and he FEARS they will try to come after him because of this and if they want to DF him he has the attempted suicide against him. He feels this on top of everything else on his shoulders. Like he does not have enough to worry about! It's such a shame! He also feels that the wife I mentioned earlier now has the upper hand against him and she (who is still going to meetings) & the borg have the deck stacked against him. He feels that talking to them will just set him back and make him feel worse. (NOTE: I don't have my bible here but what happened to the scripture the JW's use about the elders being a hiding place and a refreshment?????) Oh well, most of us KNOW how it really is! The elders always listen to the ones attending meetings! How could they lie or be dishonest? Afterall they are active JW's! :LOL:

  Robinhood told him that he did not have to talk to them. Which I don't think he'll do. He has a long way to go to get healthy and we are going to keep in touch and be a REAL FRIEND to him during this process.

  Just so you know - we went to their wedding and I KNOW his wife..from way back. So any statements I've made here regarding her have been nice.

  Thanks for letting me VENT..

  Marianne

  Stay tuned for more LIFE stories in the BORG from Robinhood.

  Edited by - Robinhood on 8 August 2002 7:58:42

  Edited by - Robinhood on 8 August 2002 8:0:20

  Edited by - Robinhood on 8 August 2002 9:9:11
• 

  jack2

  Marianne, I read your story and hopefully things will work out okay for you and your friend. You've obviosuly gone through a lot.

  Yes, I am not surprised at all that your friend was told that it was all his fault for not attending all the meetings and doing this and doing that.
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  Guest 77

  Read your experience and it brought back a lot of memories. As an abused victim I can relate to your message. I have written oodles of letters to the branch and head office about my experience, and I didn't get one word of encouragement, not one, and I have letters to prove it.

  I was a victim of abuse and pedophilia. The elder who handled my case said, 'We don't handle problems of your nature" and under the given circumstances I was expelled. Needless to say, what he did was a blessing. The lack of love shown to me under my circumstances was all I needed to make my decision. No need to say more.

  I wish more would vent out their experiences on forums of this nature, but I do understand why they refuse. We all react differently to abuse. For an org. that professes love, wow, are they living in another world!

  Mistrust and suicide is a given to those who have experienced abuse, especially serious abuse. Thanks very much for sharing your experience. As I have said, I know where your coming from. Please accept my compassion and understanding.

  Guest 77
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  Granny Linda

  This story just sickens me, too. And although you stated "it is not about me," how can one not be affected, eh.

  I'd not really had any major jw issues for years...although I cannot say that the emotional hangover took many years in overcoming. Last year when an older inactive jw sibling told me how she was "having problems with the truth," not stating any specifics, I took it upon myself to do some research. What I read often times brought tears and anger. Just had no idea that things were as bad as they are. I've been "out" for 32 years, resolved the shunning thing and ignored my jw family just like they 'shun' me.

  When this sibling writes and tells me how she doesn't care whether she lives or dies, knowing throughout the years she has suffered major depression and is known to me mentally unstable - hell, her own kids want little to do with her...I sat on that e-mail for a couple days before answering. Oh, she never acknowledged packages of information sent to her, but that's ok.

  Just sitting here shaking my head in disgust! and knowing all the stronger that those filthy people will never, as long as I live, have access to my grandchildren. I would fight too the death protecting them from the likes of such stupidity and evildoers. I have NO respect for any jw; don't much care that my immediate family remains as such either. Everyone made their choice long time ago. We are no longer children that are forced into something detestable...if they choose too remain in a cult, so be it. They just no longer hold power over me...and I simply tell the truth to the world as opportunity presents. The actions of jw's speaks for itself. Let the listener use discernment.

  Thank goodness your friend has the two of you! And the support of those who have journed before.

  Remind your friend that many here offer our sincere concern and love. There is healing. There is HOPE. I know, there was many a day when death seemed more inviting then living amongst a bunch of complete idiots that really believe themselves superior! Even after all these years the whole scenerio can piss me off again.

  Thanks for sharing this story...and don't be a stranger.

  Love,

  Granny Linda
• 

  Dia

  Your story made me smile.

  The way one smiles about a child's fear of monsters under the bed.

  You HAVE TO take it seriously on it's own terms for the sake of the child, but you also smile about it because it is just a silly little fear of something that's not even there.

  I pray that you will someday reach a point when you can smile over these monsters under the bed. And your friend, too.

  Please all of you know that we here stand ready to forgive all and to accept all.

  We were once afraid of monsters under the bed, too. We've been there.

  God be with you.
• 

  Shutterbug

  Thanks so much, Marianne, for sharing this story. If you and Robin Hood stick with this young man you could very well be responsible for saving his life. He certainly doesn't need elders laying guilt trips on him so hopefully they won't come around that much. Great post and thanks again. Bill
• 

  mrs rocky2

  (((((Marianne and Robinhood)))))

  I work in a mental health center so am not unfamiliar with depression and its treatment. There are some rather strict state regulations where I live regarding provision of mental health services and who is qualified to provide them. 'Mental Health Professional' is someone who has at least a master's degree in social work, psychology, counseling, etc. Folks with a bachelor's degree must be supervised by a mental health professional. So elders are so way out of their league in telling people they shouldn't seek professional care for depressive symptoms. Meeting attendance, etc. - the elders have a lot of blood on their hands for pushing this line!

  Mrs R
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  Xandria

  Maiden Marianne :

  I am terribly sorry to hear about your friends plight. So much pain and suffering heaped upon one person. It just makes me so p/oed that (the Elders) blame him, as if all this is his fault. He has enough on him as it is. He needs to concentrate on himself and getting to a point that he can live a normal happy free life.

  My mom was mentally unstable; at one point she actually realized some things and attempted to get some help. What upset me at the time ( I wish I knew then what I know now, Id sue that so called therapist) is the therapist told my step-father information and a prognosis of my mothers mental state. He in turn used the information against her, taunted her with it; and it basically gave him leverage over her. She stopped going to get help and refused to find any other type of therapy or therapist. This therapist did so much damage by her betrayal of trust.

  I hope and pray that the doctors that are handling your friends case dont betray certain trusts of information to the Eldership or mother-in-law. They need to be made aware of the situation and that this persons fear is a justified one. That the Elders and people from the WTS and KH are going to do more damage to the psychological well being of the patient. He needs to be stress free right now, he has gone through enough. This is his time to recuperate and make plans for his future. I am sure with friends like you he can find the right path and way to be free and nasty wife free.

  Best Wishes,

  Xandria

  Edited by - xandria on 8 August 2002 12:1:12
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  sunshineToo

  Marianne, thank you for your post.

  What his wife is a jw???????? Still going to the meetings????????? And she had him got fired and told him that she was going to divorce him????????? Does she have a proper ground for divorce? Did he have an affair???????

  Tell your friend that we (right, guys?) are concerned, and we hope he would get better soon so that he can post here as well.
• 

  Robinhood

  Just so everyone knows his wife is also an inactive JW. There was no physical abuse, no adultry, no drugs, alcohol etc. Just too much of lifes problems. She has no grounds for divorce. He totally supported her. She has not worked for the last couple of years and this is part of the problem. She doesn't work anywhere not even at home.

  She is an only child, totally spoiled, a whiner, doted on & a {{{{{{DRAMA QUEEN}}}}}} who will feed off of her husbands pain for years to come with all of the attention she gets.

  They have a three fold cord marriage.......Him, Her and Her MOTHER!

  By the way only children don't have to be spoiled because we have one that is a really hard worker and very responsible.