I found the terse, typed letter displayed above sitting on my microwave oven when I got home from work a few months ago. It was addressed to me from my best friend and brother-in-law of many years.
A couple of days before we got into a discussion over "what was wrong with me." I had recently grown a goatee that he thought was extremely 'unchristian'. He and a couple other friends were worried that it was not a good thing for the image of our witness rock band. We were alone in the house and my friend started asking me questions about what I believed. He said the elders had talked to him about me and he wanted to get to the bottom of the issue. Unfortunately, I've never been too much good with confrontation and I cracked. I said much too much. I hinted at my agnostic leanings and he immediately shut down. I realized I had gone too far. I had said too much. No amount of backpedaling or explaining could help. I had spilled the beans. I knew our relationship would never be the same again.
Unfortunately my best friend is a very opinionated person with a strong personality. This, coupled with effective indoctrination from the Watchtower Society since his youth, led my friend to believe that I was a dangerous apostate - vile scum that would infect him and his family if I were allowed casual association with them. It was sad to me that he thought me a threat to him and his wife, since I had never even hinted at my beliefs to him before. I never even showed him anything remotely apostate. A strong friendship ended on that day. I was, of course, kicked out of my own rock band. That hurt me a lot. I felt dumped. It still hurts sometimes when I hear of them playing gigs without me now.
I guess the point of this post is that under normal circumstances, open and honest communication with your best friend would not be met with abandonment and shunning. Even today, a few months after this letter was written, my friend will not even acknowledge my existence if we happen to be in the same room. He will usually make some excuse to leave. To me this is just disgusting! I know he is under the mind control of the Watchtower, but it still hurts. If we were of any other religion, our relationship might be damaged, but surely a true friend would not go to this extreme. I guess what it comes down to is that there are very few true friends within the Organization. Love is conditional - you must agree with the teachings of the Watchtower Society to be accepted.
I posted this letter so that those who are not familiar with the Watchtower policy of shunning former members will see that it is not a myth. It does ruin some people's lives. The funny thing is that I'm not even DF'd or DA'd - so it could happen to anyone with divergent views that are not kept in the most secure confidence. This fear keeps many in the Society, hiding their true feeling for fear of the consequences. This is what the Society does to people.
I have since extended the olive branch to my friend. I wrote a nice little card trying to explain my feelings a bit better. I let him and his wife know that they were special to me and that I would always be there for them no matter what. The card has gone unanswered even until this time. My best friend and I have not spoken a word since that fateful 45 minute conversation. I can only hope that he will someday learn the truth about the 'Truth'. If that happens, I will gladly accept him back as my friend with open arms. I would do this because I know that it is my friend's indoctrination that makes him act the way he does right now. It is the powerful mind-control of the Watchtower that can make us do things that are morally repugnant. I also know that he will probably need support if he decides to leave the Organization, and I will gladly provide that if the time comes. I will not hold this against him.
rem
