Is Goal Setting Good Or Bad?

by larc 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sadie5
    Sadie5

    It used to bother me that there was no understanding of slowing down during the busy times of one's life. One year, I was extremely busy with family responsibilities. My elderly mom had surgery and needed care upon returning home, one of my children had sustained injuries from a car accident. And to top it all off, I found out I was pregnant at 40.

    My days were filled with Dr. appointments and caring for my mom and child as well as the normal day to day things. At night time, I was exhausted. I cut my meeting attendance way back, some weeks not going at all. I cut my field service back too, I had neither the time nor desire to find bible studies. My plate was full.

    My reasoning was this: only I could take care of my unborn child and myself during this pregnancy. It was my responsibility to care for my aging parent and child. There are other people that could place magazines, start Bible studies. I could resume those things once my personal life had less problems in it.

    Of course, I was looked upon as being weak for not being able to balance it all and nobody came over to help me, because I wasn't spiritual enough. I was approached about being irregular, asked if there wasn't some way I could be doing more. It was a very low and depressing time for me but I tried to put their words out of my mind and just concentrated on the things I could do and commended myself.

    It wasn't the final straw, but it helped me to start seeing what this organization truly was. Things did work out for the best.

    Sadie

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    : Is Goal Setting Good Or Bad?

    Only in moderation. All of my views are Bible-Based(tm).

    Farkel

  • Thirdson
    Thirdson

    Another thought on this topic. The word goal is used with extreme frequency in WT publications even though the word is used in the NWT Bible only three times. At one time, the word "quota" was used as the stick of motivation. Any search through WT publications will yield many uses in context to life stories of long time devotees who had to meet quotas. This example is the expected quota for the average faithful JW.

    Each Witness is urged to attend five congregational meetings weekly, 260 a year, spend time doing private and family study of the Bible and then devote as much time as he can to the field ministry. Each congregation has its hour quota and each Witness strives to meet or exceed it. The average minister in a congregation spends some ten hours monthly in such evangelizing. They believe in "buying out the opportune time" for themselves.Eph. 5:16. Watchtower 6/1 1961 Page 328

    At some time in the late 60's the WTS changed the terminology and emphasized the change. The word "quota" as a requirement, was replaced by "goal" a moveable expectation. I remember my dad correcting "brothers" who used such terms as, "I still need to get my 10-hour quota this month." He would remind them that we don't have quotas but we have a 10-hour goal to achieve. Although the word changed, the requirement and expectation remained the same. Those who failed to achieve their 10-hour quota, sorry, goal were still deemed to be lacking in spirituality by being below average Christians.

    Thirdson

  • Nanoprobe
    Nanoprobe

    There are so many great thoughts here. I especially like jgnats

    What goals does God set for us? Love not hours

    And dsgal

    They study about love but it takes a backseat to getting in your time,preparing meeting parts(regarding a funeral). It seems to me it's only human nature to show kindness at a time like that,but they lose all humanness after a while.

    I have a funeral story:

    My friend's son was killed in a car wreck. My friend, Louise, had been raised in the truth, married to an elder, pioneered for many years and raised her four kids as great little witnesses. But evidently her husband left the truth and her. The kids all left the organization but this sister stayed faith never missing a meeting, auxiliary pioneering, etc.

    And then her youngest son was killed. Our congregation acted like he was a stranger they had read about in the morning paper. No one was interested in bring food or helping out. I went to the elders and talked to them about the problem. They told me if I was concerned I should organize it myself. So I did, a few kindly other sisters came over and brought food and stayed to serve the family after the funeral. Not one elder(from this hall) went to the funeral even though it was at the child's grandfather's kingdom hall. It was sad, it seemed if you did not have a good husband in the org than your contributions didn't count.

    Putting in field service hours don't help much when compassion is needed. A legalistic approach to God doesn't contribute much to love, does it?

  • GentlyFeral
    GentlyFeral

    The funeral stories are shocking. When I was a jaydub I had a Theocratic Husband (tm) and didn't lose any jaydub relatives in death, so I didn't have a clue it could be like this.

    But I'll tell a UU story as an instructive contrast.

    When I was first attending a UU church, before I knew who anybody was, I heard some women talking about one of the pregnant ladies. Turns out she wasn't married, this was her second unmarried pregnancy, and the father was also a church member.

    The church ladies' primary concern: what kind of presents do you bring to a baby shower for someone who's giving the child up for adoption? They ended up deciding on soothing and stress-relieving things for the mother...and the father.

    That's love, and not particularly sappy, either.

    GentlyFeral

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