Think Fast
It is a Saturday morning and you are feeling pretty lucky. Suddenly you see a long black limo pull up in front of your house and out steps a plump old man walking up to your doorstep. You were hoping it was the Publishers Clearing House there to give you a fat check but instead it is one of the Governing Body knocking on your door to get his 15 minutes a month in of field service.
Immediately after he introduces himself you pull a Blue Smurf off the shelf by your doorway that you normally use to scare away Witnesses. In your best use of ventriloquism yet, you make the smurf appear to say, Im Charles Taze Russell. This panics the GB member at your door and he grabs his book bag and runs like crazy to jump into the limo. As the limo speeds off you notice that in his haste to escape, his wallet fell out on the ground. When you look in the wallet you find it not only stuffed with $100 bills but there are several Watchtower Corporate bank cards in the wallet and a little more snooping in his wallet rewards you with the secret ATM pin numbers.
The question is: would you rip off the WTS and if so, how much?
After all doesnt the Bible say something about an eye for an eye type revenge? Oh, I forgot we are supposed to be under JCs law now do to others as you would have them do to youah, but they already did to me! Isnt it fair that I get something back? Come on, look at the damages
I was raised a dub and was routinely beaten by my father as the Society said back then dont spare the rod. Well that has got to be worth at least $50,000 in compensatory damages.
My JW childhood was absolutely miserable. I got beat up all the time in public school because my parents told me that JWs dont fight back. As a result I was an easy target and routinely got the snot beat out of me by any punk in school who wanted to go up a notch in status. Thank you WTS, that will be another $50,000 in damages.
Lets not forget either that I couldnt participate in any type of sports (competition is evil you know) couldnt have any friends at school because they were all worldly and were intent on getting me hooked on drugs. On top of all this I was expected to get good grades even though I was both the laughing stock and punching bag of the school and would get long beatings with a belt from my father come report card time. I think I want another $25,000 for all that.
All those horrible meetings I had to sit through. They were not only as boring as hell but absolutely miserable to be at. They had the heat cranked up so high that it was near impossible to stay awake and if you dozed off, you would get a kick in the butt from whom ever was behind you to make sure you were awake to suffer through the rest of the meeting. I spent at least an hour preparing for each of those stupid meetings on top of this. I figured that I must have gone to 150 meetings a year and did that for 18 years. That is 2700 meetings. I want $100 for each of those miserable horrible experiences, and that is $270,000 you owe me there suckers. Oh, and I almost forgot about the prep time, at minimum wage that would be $13,500.
Those shitty assemblies, Holy Crap they were awful. It was two circuit assemblies and one big district assembly each year. My father would make sure I worked my ass off either washing dishes or picking up slop or whatever fucked job he could find for me at them. I want a $1,000 in compensatory damages for each of those shitty experiences. I figure $45,000 ought to cover that.
Now on to field service. Boy are you WTS guys going to pay for that shit. I got bit by dogs, chased by angry householders, froze my ass off in the winter sweated like a pig in summer, run off the road when I was pioneering on my bicycle, ended up getting stung by bees, having to put up with really smelly Witnesses for partners, well you get the picture. I was a regular publisher since I was 7 years old. I did that until I pioneered full time for 3 years. So, that is 11 years as a dumb dub x 10 hours a month or 1320 hours and 3.5 years at 100 hours a month or 4200 hours. A total of 5520 hours. I want $50 an hour for each of those fucked hours. So add another $276,000 to the total.
If my life wasnt fucked up enough by all this shit the WTS has to really put me through the ringer when I discovered my whole fucking life was a LIE. For destroying my life, and losing my friends and family when I had to leave, I want $1,000,000 from those WTS assholes.
Finally, in the 21 years Ive been free from this God forsaken screwed up religion I have still suffered from the mind fuck the WTS gave me. I paid out a good $7,000 in therapy, ruined a few good personal relationships from the consequences of my JW upbringing, and in general was an angry and depressed person until I got the therapy I needed to overcome my JW upbringing. For all that, I want another $100,000 from the WTS.
The total due now from the WTS is: $1,836,500.00 not adjusting for inflation and interest penalties.
Damn straight I would rip them. I got the justification; all I need now is the opportunity. What about you?
Skipper