Clambake, I gently encourage you to "get a grip" and not collapse into "I'm a terible person"-type thinking. You bravely asked the question and I had assumed you were interested in posters' views. I gave mine.
As I said, having the kinds of thoughts you are having does NOT make you a terrible person - but acting on them would.
In their own minds, people develop all kinds of justifications for their thoughts on elderly people and their money. Sometimes their justifications have merit - but that does not make any subsequent actions right. It is usually people "closest" to the elderly - friends, acquaintances, home support people - who are most vulnerable to developing thoughts on "others" unfairly getting their hands on the elderly person's estate. But in law, elder abuse is elder abuse.