How to impress a women

by Jesika 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lin
    Lin

    Okay...everyone.....I'm Lin, Jesika's aunt. I sent her the funny. Some of you really need to lighten up!!!! YEEEEEESH! Would you prefer this one:? Lighten up!!!!!

    Terrible Pickup Lines

    Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

    Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

    Man: "Haven't we met before?"

    Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the Venereal Disease Clinic."

    Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

    Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

    Man: "Is this seat empty?"

    Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

    Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

    Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

    Man: "Your place or mine?"

    Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

    Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

    Woman: "It's in the phone book."

    Man: "But I don't know your name."

    Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

    Man: "What sign were you born under?"

    Woman: "No Parking."

    Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

    Woman: "Do Not Enter."

    Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

    Woman: "Unfertilized!"

    Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."

    Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

    Man: "I can tell that you want me."

    Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

    Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

    Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

    Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"

    Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

    Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."

    Woman: "Thank you. It's in aisle three at the corner drug store."

    Man: "Your body is like a temple."

    Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

    Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

    Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

    If you thought these were funny, send them to a friend!

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints

    ..i musta mised something, jesika's aunt... whos' upset?

    ?

  • The Alchemist
    The Alchemist

    It was well established on another simular thread that a way to a women's heart is by fixing things. Tim Allen the tool man out ranks who ever is today's "Mr Romance." I think if I did all you suggest I would be hospitalised in a month with a nervous condition. Come to think of it I am close to that now.... Twitch Twitch Twitch.... Oh the 'naked, food, TV' thing works for me. Us men are quite simple and proud of it. It's True!

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