Coping Mechanisms of Sexual and Physical Abuse

by Victor_E 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Actually she said that one of the reasons that treating a pedophile is so difficult is that they are so self-centered and narcissitic that the victim's pain is irrelevant. She said they would absolutely refuse to discuss the abuse they inflicted, but would rather instead be much more willing to talk about the hurts and abuses that had been inflicted upon THEM. She did say that in her opinion a pedophile could not be cured simply because they absolute refuse to take responsibility for their rapes of children. One thing she told me has always stuck with me however, and that was the story one pedophile told her about how he selected his victims. He would look for the happiest child, one that was laughing and had a bright innocence to them and then he would "wipe that smile off their face".

    I believe these men are evil, pure and simple. Evil does not want to be reformed.

  • Swan
    Swan

    I asked:

    Is there such a thing as trying to remember the incident so vividly that you are wanting to go back and relive the abuse, at least in your mind? Does this make any sense?

    Victor E replied:

    Before I can answer this question I would need to know what is the intention behind regressing to the abuse?

    I don't know. I feel compelled to understand it further, to understand the relationship I still want to have with this person even though this relative is shunning me now. I have covered this with a psychiatrist several years ago, but lately I have been thinking a lot more about this incident and wondering if there was some memory of it that I missed. I feel that there is some sort of key there. Can there be some sort of obsession involved in trying to understand the abuse? Can there be a love-hate relationship with the incident and the person involved?
  • Victor_E
    Victor_E

    I don't know. I feel compelled to understand it further, to understand the relationship I still want to have with this person even though this relative is shunning me now. I have covered this with a psychiatrist several years ago, but lately I have been thinking a lot more about this incident and wondering if there was some memory of it that I missed. I feel that there is some sort of key there. Can there be some sort of obsession involved in trying to understand the abuse? Can there be a love-hate relationship with the incident and the person involved?

    Generally what you describe does not need a regression to the abuse. From what little you tell me there is a part of you that wants to come to terms with some issue or put closure to this past. As far as being obsessed, it is quite common for abuse survivors to have obsessions and yes you may have a love hate relationship with this person. My recommendation is with as little as two sessions a skilled clinician can help you sort this out.

  • Swan
    Swan

    Thank you, Victor E.

    I think I was also looking for some sort of validation, because when I read your response, I thought that I wasn't so strange after all and maybe I'm just normal.

    Tammy

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    I have been thinking about this subject in the past few days, wondering how I could ask the questions I had. Thank you for posting this, it has given me some insight!

    Nikita

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