DID AN ELDER EVER HELP YOU? (page 2)

Swan

DakotaRed said:

RT, from my experience, the truly kind and compassionate ones don't last. The regular types always seemed to find some way to get rid of them.

Or they become apostates!

Edited by - UglyDuckling on 16 August 2002 0:33:34

Elders are taught that there's really only one way to help someone and that is by following the directions that the Society gives. Even if someone was to be judicially reproved, privately, elders HAVE to give restrictions. There is no allowance for mercy or circumstances. Elders may not want to do everthing the Society says, but to stay on as one, you must follow their rules....I am glad I don't have to anymore.

bitter mango

There are so many horror stories about elders. Many people dislike or can't stand elders, in general. A number here have been truly hurt by some. BUT, have you ever had any positive experiences with elders? Has anybody truly been helped by an elder? Has your typical experience with elders been that they really don't care?

nice topic

hmm, i can't say anything from a jw's/ex jw's point of veiw, but my uncle is an elder...though i may bitch and moan about some of the things he's said and done (along with the other 30 peeps in my fam ) he's one of the most decent men i've known in my life. i don't agree with much of his lifestyle or views and he doesn't agree with mine but i know that if i needed him for some reason or another he'd be there for me in an instant, putting all the religious trash aside. he's proved this with other 'worldly' family members.

Edited by - bitter mango on 16 August 2002 0:43:25

JW Ben

The elders (in general) seem to be to occupied with making money, building and selling, new cars and entertainment to spend time sheparding. ; (Nothing wrong with those things but they should not control your life) I have had elders truly help once. I have also had other elders push me toward suicide (thank goodness I failed) Elders are not trained in human behaviour, and they should be. Those that have suffered have some form of compation. ; Those that have life easy do not. I am and will remain a JW

Jugement starts with them (1 Peter 4:17

"For it is the appointed time for the judgment to start with the house of God. Now if it starts first with us, what will the end be of those who are not obedient to the good news of God? 18 "And if the righteous [man] is being saved with difficulty, where will the ungodly [man] and the sinner make a showing?" 19 So, then, also let those who are suffering in harmony with the will of God keep on commending their souls to a faithful Creator while they are doing good."

Lee Elder

I've seen elders run the whole spectrum from being extremely helpful, kind and resourceful to others who were mean spirited and stupid. In my view, the trend strongly favors the latter description.

Lee

onacruse

Yes, and I still consider some of them to be friends.

My being df'd sort of interferes with those friendships. lol

They aren't all jerks, not by a long shot.

It's those good folks that are still stuck in the WTS that make my heart hurt.

Craig

minimus

It seems that the elders that did try to help are either outnumbered or out.

Francois

An elder? Help? What a strange pair of words to put in the same sentence.

Elders are helpful neither by training, experience, nor inclination. They just don't know how. When an elder is approached for help, they get those Deer in the Headlights eyes. Helpless to do anything. Then after about a fine second pause, they start in regurgitating the standard JW lines. "Cut your arm off in a power saw? Wait on Jehovah. Maybe you'll grow a new one? Can't work? Ain't that a shame? Maybe you should apply for unemployment?"

About as helpful as a beer fart on a crowded elevator.

-francois

CFree

Well my dad was (and still is) an elder and he didn't help that much. He always seemed torn between what he should do as a father and what he should do as an elder. The elder standpoint always won. When I was d'fd I think he was more hurt by how I'd made the family look and his position as an elder than about how I felt and why I'd done the things I'd done.

morrisamb

I've experienced both extremes and even some in the middle.

I had more than one Elder who went beyond the call of duty,

becoming a foster father for me. Unfortunately when I left, that

ended those loving relationships. It still hurts when I see them

and they ignore me. Regardless, I KNOW they still care about

me..they're just going by the rules. The one that was truly like a

Dad, told an acquaintance about me, "Only God knows what

Donald has been through. I will not judge him." I try to focus on

those positives but am not always successful.

DID AN ELDER EVER HELP YOU?

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