Tiring of Anti-JW causes?

by ashitaka 48 Replies latest jw friends

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  JosephMalik

  ashitaka,

  No, helping others is what a disciple does. It makes no difference if they are JW's or someone else, the problem is much the same. Set an example and teach them if possible so as to establish the faith in others. This is how the message is carried to the world. And in the case of the JW's who seem to need help more than others? We put in more effort here because we are better qualified to deal with them.

  ashitaka said: Perhaps unqualified people like myself shouldn't try to help people 'coming out' anyway.

  Then take the time to learn first. There is plenty of material available on the net to bring you up to speed if that is your problem.

  Joseph

  Edited by - JosephMalik on 18 August 2002 9:52:50
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  DanTheMan

  Ashi,

  Thanks for your post. I can relate to how you feel. I think that sometimes the exjw movement is lacking in patience (myself included). How we would all love to see the borg come crashing down in a single day, like the walls of Jericho. That realistically is not going to happen.

  A few months ago, somebody started posting here, I can't remember what their screen name was. He/she was studying Watchtowerism, and wasn't sure about some things, and they had found this website. The end result was that they discontinued their study. This shows that collectively we are making a difference. The more people that post here, the more diverse the experiences and opinions, the more likely a doubting lurker will be able to find a poster they relate to. We all contribute in a small way. There are many instances of persons who came here (or to H20, or Channel C), thinking they were gonna find out how wrong and wacked out 'postates are, only to have their eyes slowly opened to what a wicked religious org they're involved with. One person at a time!

  This place was so helpful for me in getting out, I don't know what I would have done without it. It was SO nice finding so many people who came to feel the same way I did about the WT, that it is a smothering, abusive CULT. The WT propagandized us to death about how evil 'postates are. So untrue.

  I may be experiencing something similar to you, kind of an "OK, what now?" sort of feeling. I don't want to live in my JW past for the rest of my life, but when you spend years in an org that directed your every waking minute, it is hard to adjust to the freedom.
• 

  Mimilly

  Ash - Growth is a rollercoaster of stairs with many a plateau for the brain to absorb it all. I think it during these plateaus that the confusion/doubts/frustration etc. kick in because the brain is filing the experiences.

  Don't doubt that you've touched someone's heart or even saved a life. Your very presence speaks volumes. As a previous poster said - there are many lurkers. Plus, there are many on the board who may be having a hard time and just do not reply to your post, which in fact, helped them.

  Everyone needs a break sometime. But you DO make a difference here.

  big hugs, Mimilly
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  Simon

  I think a lot of people would be surprised - most emails I get cite the personal stories and experiences so dont think that you 'haven't helped anyone' if you have just posted your story or been nice to people. Often, what they need is a friendly face and to know that they are not alone.
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  ashitaka

  I have read all of the responses thank thank everyone for them. I wish I could comment on them all.

  ISP-That's the question I'm trying to answer now.

  The thing is, I was feeling like the JW chapter of my life was closing for the most part. My parents are out and going to celebrate Christmas this year. My extended family think of us as normal again. My own relationship with my wife is close, and although her parents Half shun/despise us, my wife has come to accept it and moved on. And, although my sister is still attending, it's all half-assed service. Her husband-to-be is a helluva guy, and is basically an apostate; except he has powerful family members who keep the dogs at bay.

  After my sister's wedding to him, which is coming up soon, JW things actually affecting my life should be slim.

  Then, last night, my friend calls up and tells me that his entire family is hounding him, trying to get him disfellowshipped. He related to me that he sent his congregation cards to Nova Scotia (He lives in Pennslyvania).....LOL. He filtered them through 4 congregations, so it's unlikely they could even find his host congregation.

  The thing is, they are giving him the worst trouble for smoking, and they (his fam) will stop at nothing to get rid of him. He is a sensitive guy who has some emotional problems. This cannot be good for him, although he says it doesn't really bother him. His family is very close-knit.

  Then, I started to burn again, just when I thought I had cooled down. I just want to put my fist through their foreheads, but it's not their fault. They're programmed to be this way.

  It's the helplessness that creeps up when dealing with the machinations of Witnesses. Their foul spiritual sense clouds even the best of their minds. Which is why I want to fight, but feel too empty to make a real difference.

  I'm only 23 (well, on the 29th I will be). I think that a person a little older would be suitable to help people out. I have little interest in doctrine. I just want to help people, and not by being a counselor. Just by helping them feel normal again.

  When I'm with exJWs, I try not to talk about JWs for the obvious reasons. We don't want the Borg to be in all of our thoughts....that would mean they are still controlling us indirectly.

  Still, thanks again for all of the comments. Making a difference is comforting.

  ash
• 

  gsx1138

  I've got too much going on in my own life to worry about the WTS. Sure, I think it is fun to rip them a new one every once and awhile. However, I do think that if you're preoccupied with them then there is something wrong with you; maybe you still are having trouble letting go. When I do think of the WTS I sit in amazement of myself at how much I really don't give a shit about them. It's almost surreal. Of course everything is always up to the individual. I'm not the picket outside the convention type of guy but others are and that's cool for them. Just make sure that you are leading a fullfilling life for yourself and not for someone else.
• 

  BugParadise

  Scully

  The other thing we are accomplishing - maybe without even realizing it - is to help people NOT BECOME JWs.

  Exactly! And that is a big service to people all by itself!
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  larc

  Ashi, I understand your frustration. I have never directly influenced anyone to leave the religion. I have helped a few after they left. I have talked about this issue alot with my wife. We would both like to my sister and her sister come out, but don't think that will ever happen. We have concluded that all we can do is just be there for them, if they ever make such a decision.
• 

  Farkel

  ashi,

  : Does anyone feel that same apathy? Is the uphill battle fighting brainwashed people getting to you?

  Those are my sentiments.

  Although I helped many out (and people who don't know any better keep calling me a liar for that), there is a time to let it all go. The evidence against the WTS is so obvious and so compelling, that I almost feel embarrassed presenting it. Every new idea I conceive on the subject is only another slant on a topic that has already been covered. There are a few exceptions: no one else I know caught Freddie Franz on on his bad math (and lies) in his 1971 WT disucssion of Daniel 8 on the 2,300 evenings and mornings, but I did.

  Perhaps there are a few more exceptions, too. All the hard work has been done and is readily available and yet there are still 6,000,000 braindead dubs running around selling Watchtower Crap(tm).

  Some braindead people likes dubs just refuse to learn. They LIKE being braindead. I no longer pity them.

  Want some coffee in this coffee shop, anyone? What's your favorite Pizza topping?

  Farkel
• 

  siegswife

  Ashi, I understand what you're talking about, but for different reasons. I wasn't raised a dub, but maybe I can offer you something from a different perspective.

  What you're experiencing is the way life is for alot of people, I think. I feel like I've been doing battle most of my life as well, even though I spent in the borg was nothing compared to most of you. I came from a disfunctional family (dad is an alcoholic), I had children and was married at a very young age, I'd spent some years doing drugs and was (still am) always suspicious and rebellious against the 'authorities'. I always felt like I wanted to know God and truth and justice and all that good stuff. I joined the borg, truly believed it was the truth (although I had trouble understanding some doctrines), and was utterly crushed when I realized it wasn't 'truth' at all, but a bunch of crap. The point being that there are alot of us who had a screwed up life without the borg. I think that's what attracted us to it to begin with, misery loving company and all.

  I was lucky though, in that I had 'roots' outside the religion, so leaving didn't really affect me on a social level. It effected me otherwise, but the transformation was easier because I was really one of the 'worldly people' to begin with. Still, I was obviously affected by my time in the borg or else I wouldn't be here trying to come to terms with it with the help of people like you. I'm involved on another board where I try to show some actives the truth about the truth, and all I can really do is hope that something will strike the right chord. I get a headache from it sometimes and wonder if I shouldn't stop...but hey...my whole life has been a struggle and if it I didn't engage on some level I wouldn't know how to act...lol

  I've recently decided to actively help SilentLambs with some of their mailings so that I would have a more direct impact against the dark side. Knowing that is uplifting rather than the feeling you get when you try to reason with an active JW. I don't know the level of your involvement with trying to help, but maybe if you just limit yourself to activities that don't involve verbally trying to deprogram them you'll feel better.

  Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is a struggle and you're lucky if you get to pick what it is you're fighting. The fact that you feel the way you do means you have a choice. Don't forget that.

  Peace,

  Lea