HOW & WHY I BECAME A JW PART 1 OF 10
Introduction: When we leave the JW religion, there is no shortage of those who ask, "What caused you to leave the Watchtower?" Subsequent to leaving Jehovah's Witnesses, we may spend a number of years unraveling the effects of the JW religion in our family and personal life, business activities, social experiences, and spiritual views. Detailing what made us leave the JW religion may take several years, but often results in much healing, growth, and a far happier life.
We still seem to stay involved with the ex-JW world for reasons that seem to escape our ability to understand why. One of the reasons that helped me understand the "Why" was realizing that we have been denied accountability from the Watchtower leadership and the local Elders as to their wrongs. We have also been denied Justice, most deeply felt by thousands who are victims of sexual molestation within the Watchtower organization. All this can steal away proper closure of the harm suffered.
Then again, sometimes, I think that we still feel something missing, something still not right, something lacking in completing the journey out of the Watchtower religion and into a normal and functional life. What could that be?
Exploring How and Why we became JWs in the first place may hold some keys to understanding that gnawing empty feeling that quest to remain involved with the world of ex-JWs for many years, maybe even decades after we awakened from the slumber that controlled our minds as JWs.
My own story of becoming a JW has much in common with other new converts to the religion and much that is unique to me and my outlook on life. I hope that as I explore my own experience with you it will help us both to develop some better understanding of ourselves and maybe result in another important step in our individual healing process.
NOTE: All names, places and events are real and not changed. This account starts out a little slow in this first installment, but takes on momentum as the twists and turns become rather exotic and will make you wonder why I became a JW.
PART 1: MY FIRST STEPS INTO THE WORKING WORLD
Christmas break in December 1968: I had been looking for work in engineering and design that would compliment my career goals. I spent sometime looking for various jobs, and one that came up was at Kvalheim Machinery Company in Petaluma, California. I had applied for a drafting-design position and left it with the president of the company. Then in early December, I received an unexpected call to show up for work the following Monday. I cannot describe the excitement, not only at the chance to earn some money, but to enjoy a position that put me on my engineering track. Kvalheim manufacturers various automatic woodworking machinery of the best quality and state of the art. I could sink my skills into pneumatic brains, electro-mechanical circuits, and other fun stuff.
I arrived a little early --- not only to set a good impression, but I was eager to get started. The future seemed bright enough, many opportunities all around me and I was just healing from a long downturn in person crisis starting with my mothers death in 1966. Now, I was a young man and ready to move on in the world and take my place in society.
"Good to have you aboard, Jim" These were the nice words from Andy Kvalheim, President of the company. His father had invented and patented the Travel Saw, and built up a company with an excellent reputation for its machine products. Andy and his brother, Irv, took over when their dad passed away. They made a good team, and skillfully built the company into strong business that their sons run to this day. Their dad immigrated to the US from Norway where he was a master machinists. His skills in the USA were highly valuable.
We passed through various doors and corridors and building sections in the factory complex and finally, we enter the engineering office my new home away from home. Andy walks in ahead of me and finds that the lead design-draftsman is in his office. He brings him out to the main part of the office. Andy introduces me to a nice guy, who was about 2 years older than me. He shook my hand and said his name, Don. He was slightly reserved, but otherwise seemed like a really great person at least that was my first impression. Unknown to me at this point is that Don was a Regular Pioneer for Jehovah's Witnesses. Andy then walked me through the rest of the factory complex, introducing me to various mechanics, machinists, and office workers, and showing me the tools, machines, lifts, and other equipment used to make their products.
Finally, the tour ended, and Andy walked me back to the engineering office. He showed me my new desk and then asked Don to begin training me as to what was needed, and all the other details of company procedure, the files, etc. Don right away told me that he worked part time, 3 days a week, and that he was available Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I told him I would be there everyday to work. We hit it off well enough, and he was very nice in the way he explained things I would say that patience is one of his strong points.
At the close of the day I walked outside with Don where his Dad was waiting to give him a ride home. I said good-bye and proceeded to walk home. It was a long walk, but I didnt mind. Don asked me if I would like a ride home. I was shy and felt like declining the offer, but something made me say yes. As I stepped into the big truck, Don introduced to his Dad, who seemed very distant, almost as though he disapproved of giving me a ride. He had that look of doubt on his face like he was not sure he should have gone along with Don to help me out. The tension was so noticeable that I offered to go ahead and walk home but they both insisted.
I lived by myself in a old studio apartment. It was nice apartment, but I was feeling very funny about these two men, so I asked to be dropped off in front of St, Vincent's Catholic Church, about 4 blocks from my house. I told them I lived near by, which was kind of true, relatively speaking. They asked if I went to church at St. Vincent's, to which I said yes. I volunteered that I was raised Roman Catholic, and was considering the Priesthood as an alternative to engineering, or a career in the US Navy.
Both father and son smiled with that all-too-typical "High-Voltage-JW-look", but not knowing their beliefs, I took them for an odd pair. Yet, in someway, I left them feeling a little inferior to them, feeling that they thought it was I who was the odd man out. I walked back to my apartment, taking a zig-zag path to make sure they didn't follow me.
Wednesday arrives: Don was a good trainer and very helpful as I began to get used to the drafting tools, templates, slide-rule (no electronic calculators back then), and manufacturing books for application formula, etc. At lunchtime, I went out for a smoke, and then came back in for my sandwich and a Coke. Don was having a healthy lunch of fruit. He always seem to do everything perfectly. I glanced over at him reading a book. He was engrossed in something and so I leaned my head over and asked what he was reading.
"Make Sure of All Things:" He was reading up on the Greek word, Starous, meaning an "upright stake or pole" and commented that Jesus did not really die on a Cross, but on a stake. Naturally, this sounded new to me and my Catholic beliefs, so I asked who published the book, and why they differ from traditional Christian teaching. Don began telling me about the Cross, showing me a book page with a drawing of Jesus hanging on a stake, and how important it was to know and understand the truth of what the Bible really taught.
I debated about the importance of this issue, but made the fatal mistake of admitting the topic was of interest to me and admitting that I am a religious person and I hope to live with God when I die. Don again gave that JW smile, that look that says, "I have my doubts about you," as though to say something was wrong with me, and he was concerned that he would not be able to fix it. I got that inferior feeling again and became speechless.
Before long we moved on to the trinity, the soul, and hellfire. When we got into discussing Hell, I became fascinated, in awe of the possibility that Hell did not exist and that Don could prove it from the Bible. Now he was talking, and I was listening.
"What in the Hell are you two talking about?" Dave Haack stepped into the room, obviously knowing that we were having an in-depth discussion. " Is Don trying to convert you to a true believer?" I defended myself, saying that we were just talking and then Dave responded, "It's time to get back to work you guys; and Jim, watch this Don fellow, he will sell you a bill of goods that will waste your life." I agreed, and said that I was able to handle it though. I thanked Dave for his concern.
Dave left the office. Don then said that Dave was fulfilling prophecy in a way that he does not understand. I turned to Don, and said, "What? Dave, prophecy? How is that?" Stay tuned for how an atheist named "Dave" fulfills Bible prophecy according to Don, the Regular Pioneer.
Edited by - Amazing on 20 August 2002 22:58:21