worst JW introductions (page 3)

Gopher

Were calling on our neighbors, and , um, asking them what do they think of the future?

abbagail

LOL! to minimus, LB, dismembered... heck, all o' ya are too funny. Great memories!

Seen any elk? -- That definitely wouldn't fly in FLA.

Seen any seagulls lately? -- That might work...

LOL!

Never could ask for a donation either (when they changed it in the late 80's). No way. If they sincerely acted like they were interested, I gave 'em whatever they wanted, or whatever I had in the bag, and I always had plenty. Got a bum shoulder from lugging around a 10-ton bookbag all those years (had to be "prepared," you know!) In the trunk of my car, I had two boxes, one for W and one for A!, and labeled-dividers separated each issue by date (1/1, 1/15, 2/1, 2/15, etc.). Even the CO and wife were mightily "impressed." Everyone else's trunks had mags strewn all over in a big messy pile. LOL!

As for intro's... I tended to ad-lib depending on whoever opened the door. I guess my favorite was anything to do with The End Coming Soon! Going by the "required for this weekend" magazine-speech never turned me on. I went out in the weekdays with the sisters more than weekend groups (much more "freedom" to do/say what you wanted during the week); except I would go Sunday after meetings, and nobody wanted to go then, except maybe one or two, so we still did as we pleased. Our hall was pretty layed back all around. In my early days there I heard rumors it didn't have any holy spirit -- so maybe that's why it was so lax. :-)

Grits

CC Ryder

Two brothers approach door...door opens...brother starts.." Hel...." I"M NOT INTERESTED...brother: but? I TOLD YOU...I"M NOT INTERESTED...how do you know what....I TOLD YOU I"M NOT INTERESTED. brother finally says: Thats too bad...I was giving away Hundred dollar bills...and walks away..

I actually got fed up with service one day and said that. Got counseled yet again. I always had a real bad attitude.

CC

Swan

LOL @ Englishman

Quotes

"Good morning. My name is Quotes and together with my friend Brother Should-Be-On-Anti-Psychotic-Medication we are talking to our neighbours about world conditions. You might have seen on the news this morning about trouble in the midle-East [note how timely that one alway is!] and were asking "Do you think we can ever have True Peace on the Earth?"

On one occasion, the response was:

[Shouting, almost instantly hysterical]: You people are nothing more than a CULT!

As the door was slamming closed, I managed to YELL back "You shouldn't say things like that [door is now fully closed] when you don't know what you are talking about!" My partner was concerned that I didn't simply chill out and turn the other cheek.

Years later I realized that that woman's point was correct, JWs are a cult. Too bad she didn't calmly explain to me why. I could have saved YEARS of aggravation!

Quotes

I almost forgot the ALL TIME WORST door-knocking intro I ever saw.

I was working with Brother Should-Be-On-Anti-Psychotic-Medication (really, he should have been!). His book bag had about 3 years worth of magazines in it. I took the first door. Then it was his turn at the 2nd. He knocked, and when the resident opened the door, he doesn't say anything but just puts down his book-bag on the floor and begins rummaging through it, while mumbling/muttering. That lasted for what seemed like an eterminity, but was probably at least a half minute.

I forget how that one ended, but I'll always remember how silly I felt, smiling politely at the resident, and feeling ssssoooo embarrased, as Brother Should-Be-On-Anti-Psychotic-Medication rummaged.

Beck_Melbourne

Stategies:

Pick a theme...maybe children or babies clothes on the line...proceed to describe horrifying images of babies being destroyed at Armaggedon because their parents were ungodly...OR...garden is well maintained...proceed to describe the paradise conditions of a beautiful earth with lots of pretty flowers (all WT publications have useful pictures for this)...OR...maybe tell tale signs the householder is an invalid..perhaps a ramp for a wheelchair or rails to aid the elderly...easy...proceed to describe how they will be restored to their youth again, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore...and so on.

IT IS A CULT!! I was so brainwashed I just never knew it...until now.

Beck

Edited by - Beck_Melbourne on 21 August 2002 22:7:18

Beck_Melbourne

You might have seen on the news this morning about trouble in the midle-East [note how timely that one alway is!] and were asking "Do you think we can ever have True Peace on the Earth?"

Ahh yes...you can use this over and over again...just change the 'timely' news item LOL...cos there will always be conflict around the world no matter what *sigh*

Beck

YoursChelbie

"Good Morning!"

Today we are talking to people about how the world of mankind will be brought to destruction, just like in the days of Noah. Would you like to hop on into our Ark?"

YC

Mac

Hello, my name is Brian. We were in your neighborhood today offering the latest issue of the Watchtower and Awake magazines for a contribution of 10 cents. I'm sure you will enjoy reading these articles! (Big 5 year old's smile, to make em' melt LOL)

worst JW introductions

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