Jehovah blesses those who shun e-mail

by Mindchild 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Have any of you seen this email message going around?

    <snip>

    An unemployed brother is desperate to support his family. His wife is sick and cant work and his three teenage kids that are all enrolled in a local Witness school and he has to pay the tuition and support them as well. Knowing Jehovah helps those who help themselves he applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

    The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

    Taken back, this brother protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address and that he doesnt want unwholesome values to come into his house by means of a computer. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

    Stunned, the brother leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes.

    He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

    During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day.

    By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night but taking out time for field service and meeting preparation. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

    At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His sons have finished getting their GED and now help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is now pioneering by day and studying a book about bookkeeping to keep books for him.

    By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen brothers from the local congregation, all selling tomatoes.

    He continues to work hard. Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse, which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. They all manage to find time to temporary pioneer frequently and his daughter remains a full time pioneer.

    The tomato company's payroll has put many jobless Witnesses to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars. Jehovah is certainly blessing them.

    One day he decides to buy some more insurance for his company. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the brother replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

    "Ha!" snorts the brother. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."

    Which brings us to the moral: ..........................

    Since you got this story by e-mail brother or sister, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire. Always remember that Jehovah blesses those who put him first in their life.

    <end snip>

    Isn't this a perfect example of dub reasoning? All I can do is laugh at these idiots.

    Skipper

  • Crazy151drinker
    Crazy151drinker

    Do they have some group of people that actually come up with this crap?

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I sure hope that is not a real JW chain letter... otherwise I will have to puke!

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ

    There was once a crazy man who was very angry and had a gun that wished to use. He told himself that the next person that comes to his door will be shot dead. Being as he lived out in the middle of nowhere he could get away with it and no one would ever know what happened to the people that got shot. Of course, the next people to show up were some JW's. He looked out the door and saw some people with bibles so he decided to talk to them before he shot them. He talked to them and decided that he wouldn't shoot them. A few years later he had started taking medication and his homocidal tendancies had subsided. The two JW's who showed up at his door got married and had some children. Since they were good little JW's they didn't want their children to be influenced by bad association and home schooled their children but instead of learning how to read they learned how to haul tomatoes. One day while one of the children were hauling tomatoes he saw a sign about how there was work being done on the road and to detour around it but since he had spent so much time learning about tomatoes and not how to read he couldn't tell what that sign said and he didn't take the detour. Things went badly and he ended up striking and killing many people including the man that decided not to shoot his parents.

    The moral of the story is you should always shoot all JW's on sight.

    The other moral of the story is not all stories with morals are even half way logical.

  • Simon
    Simon

    I prefer that one to your earlier parables, it at least was funny.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Since you got this story by e-mail brother or sister, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire. Always remember that Jehovah blesses those who put him first in their life.
    What does that say about them sending the email? (They implicate themselves)

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    even more amazing is that the story is true - it really happened to Ted Jackacz.

    There's also the thrilling story about how he supported his geritol habit by selling his blood, but that's a tale for another time.

    Edited by - Nathan Natas on 21 August 2002 15:44:46

  • SYN
    SYN

    I'd love to be able to make such huge profits by selling tomatoes.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Since you got this story by e-mail brother or sister, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire. Always remember that Jehovah blesses those who put him first in their life.

    Well, what does that say about them since they're the ones who sent the email? (They condemn themselves)

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ

    Yeah, I didn't actually write any of those parables from back in the day. If you'll notice, all those books about me were written long after I died. All of my stupid apostles were always trying to out do each other so they thought they'd write some hokey stories and attribute them to me. Those guys lied like crazy. Jeez, they never even mentioned all the ladies I used to get back then.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit