The New Study

by Beans 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Beans

  Dear Brothers and Sisters:

  As the new flock moves ahead into the generation of Apostacy are we as Brothers and Sisters helping each other? If there were an Apostfest would it not be right to perhaps pick up a Brother or Sister who may not have transportation and is in need of a pint?

  Would a brief Apostate Study help a new Apostate learn how to find out about upcoming events and use the Internet for usefull info to get out in deep family members. As we get closer and closer to the end of the BORG we cannot be sure how much time is left to help those whose spiritual needs are in the basement of apostate depravation.

  Hence, let us move forward and give this new light a chance to shine!

  Beans
• 

  Quotes

  Amen Brother Bean! Amen!
• 

  betweenworlds

  Even so! Let us now sing....

  "Move ahead, move ahead to apostasy...

  It's the will of our God that we BBQ so free....

  :-)
• 

  Quotes

  LOL at betweenworlds! Very clever!

  Look out Weird Al Yankovic!!!
• 

  Beans

  As a Sheppard leads his flock we too can emulate this within our organization. One must ask his or herself how can I make a difference? What if I am in need can I approach another ApostaBro or ApostaSistah for guidance?

  The answer to these questions are simple, Apostalove is within us and we can make it through these trials and tribulations!

  Beans

  Canadian Overbeer
• 

  WildTurkey

  Please save me Brother Beans, for I am a sinner!
• 

  Beans

  Brother Turkey:

  In this new order of things there are few sins, you my friend are considered an apostle now. An apostle of the new way and you must go out and be fruitlessly inhesitant helping those who still have the guilt but are affraid to let free the pain and suffering of the past.

  Drink up my Brother Wild Turkey

  Beans

  Canadian Overbeer
• 

  Valis

  Thank you Brother Beans for that stirring talk on seeing to the needs of the flock. As I say to all the brothers and sisters of the growing Apostacy "My door is always open". I have also made it a point to invite some of my fellow Apostates to non Apostate gatherings held frequently at my home. This serves several porpoises. 1. It allows them to see that there are a plethora of good people all around them. 2. Helps them socially mature (Note: This is not an indictment of anyone's character but simply my observation.) because that is so sorely lacking in so many of thier lives. and 3: Allows them to make new friends that have nothing to do w/the WTBTS. Thank you for attending today's convention and don't forget to pick up the newly relased video "Apostate Sisters Gone Wild Part IV" now available in VHS or 8Track...See the altar chick if you have any further questions. Amen.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer of the "Perverting Overseer" class

  P.S. Brother Beans, Wild Turkey and bigboi are the Louisiana Branch Overbeers, just to keep you informed of new light and all.
• 

  outoftheorg

  ?Brother Beans.

  As you are an elder I come to you for your christian advice. I am close to joining a religion and I want your biblical opinion on this move. My friend is a Frizbeterian. He has spoken to me on the beifits of this church many times. It seems they have their worship services every sunday from 9:00 am to 11:00 am. They hold their service in the local park. One is required "with threat of disfellowshipment" to own and bring a dog with them. After a reefer or two we all sing a song. Then the serious worship begins. We throw frizbies and our dog catches them and returns them to us. We have to turn in a slip listing the number of times the throws result in a succesful catch. If we do not turn in the expected number we risk being shunned by the others and their dogs.

  I really need you to listen to the deeper teachings of this religion and give me your advice. They teach and I am inclined to believe that when we die the soul floats along about 3 or 4 feet above the ground. Quite similar to a frizbee. I am told that if I disobey them that my soul will get caught up in a tree and may never fall out of the devil tree. That in fact I may be in this tree with birds crapping on me for all eternity.

  Now these folks have been very kind to me and even gave me a free frizbee. They did say that a contribution would be appreciated. I gave them a contribution and I got lots of hugs and instructions on how to get to the park. In fact they will pick me up. They spent a lot of time showing me the finer aspects of throwing frizbees and cautioned me to not read any of the instructions from competing frizbee manufacturers. Did I tell you they took me through their beautiful large factory where the frizzbees are manufactured. It is staffed by a large group of rather strange but very busy men.

  They seem very worried, I might say paranoid about a strange dog getting ones frizbee and running off with it. If you lose your frizbee in this manner, you become a "APOSTRAFIZZ" which they fear and are in dread of. If this happens to one they believe you are hatefull and want to destroy them as individuals.

  Please brother Beans WHAT SHOULD I DO?

  Your loving brother Outoftheorg
• 

  Beans

  Dear outoftheorg:

  I have heard of this group and done much research at www.Quotes.FrizBeterians.com they are a relentless group and have been known to slip a few milkbones in your Brown Cow when your not looking. Knowing is half the battle but one must make judgements for themselves, but you must act fast or you will be telling every dog owner about this and then your hooked.

  Once you have one frizbee then you have two and then three and the next thing you know you start humping everything in sight.

  Beans,Canadian Overbeer