Are You Influenced By Looks?

by jack2 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • DJ
    DJ

    Lol at Simon.......

    I think that looks are an advantage in most situations but I do also think that good looks can be a handicap. There are plenty of people (usually women) who will suddenly decide that they don't like you if they percieve you as better looking than them. It is sad. My sister is one of those people.

    I think that personality and a genuine heart are most endearing, although it does help if they look good too.

    I guess I can be shallow..............how awful dj

  • Simon
    Simon

    Actually I can imagine that while being good looking (for a woman this is) can be advantagous in some ways, it could also be a real pain because of the unwanted attention. I see it at work when women are polite despite idiots and innuendo.

    men ... tuh !

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy
    Courtroom - two mock trials were set up using the same evidence with two different juries. The better looking guy was acquitted, the not-so-handsome guy was convicted. Obviously, this was the scariest of all the possible implications. One juror even said about the handsome guy: "he didn't look like a criminal".

    That is creepy! And frightening. Not to mention embarrassing as a fellow human being. AND! It doesn't explain the dumb blond jokes at all. crossing fingers that all the juriors were not blond people

    plum

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Q: How do you know that a blond has been using a word processor?

    A: There's White-Out all over the screen.

  • Solace
    Solace

    Elsewhere,

    You mean you arent supposed to?

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    LOLhands Heaven the windex

  • Mary
    Mary

    I'm probably the opposite of most women when faced with a compliment.........I constantly have men telling me I'm "beautiful" or "gorgeous" (I certainly don't think I am), and I'm so stupid, I have no idea what to say. Do you say "thank you", or "why are you calling me that?" or "do you need to borrow money?"

    Probably because I'm totally lacking in self-esteem, I feel very strange when I'm given a compliment and I quickly move on to another topic of conversation to avoid the subject. While I tend to have a good sense of humour and can talk to just about anyone, I'm not good at flirting with men or "playing the game", which is yet another reason why I've never married.

    Being attractive is sort of like winning the lottery: if you know how to handle it in the right way, you've got it made......if you don't know how to use it to your advantage, you end up screwing yourself.

    Personally, I'd rather be less attractive but with more self esteem.............would make life alot easier.

  • larc
    larc

    Hi Mary, you say you are pretty, but you lack self esteem. If you feel comfortable in telling us, why do you have low self esteem? To me, self esteem is something you have decide to have. No one can give to you. You have to learn to get it. Mary, I am not trying to be a smart ass. I am trying to tell you to love yourself, for no other reason than it is better than not liking yourself.

  • Mary
    Mary

    Hi Larc;

    Why am I lacking in self esteem? Probably a combination of things. My father put me down a great deal when I was young. I was always forgetting to do things and he would tell me how dumb I was. It was only in my adult years that I can see that I've always had ADD, and that if something doesn't hold your interest, your mind simply goes off in another direction, end of story. Naturally we didn't know anything about ADD when I was a kid, so I simply thought I was an incredibly stupid, dumb person. Then there was the religion. From Grade 1 - 12, I was made fun of by other kids at school because I was a Witness. The total lack of support in my life from either family, the congregation or school really did a number on my self esteem and that started my bad eating habits. I gained weight in school and was teased for that too.

    Even though I lost weight when I got out of school, started wearing makeup and dressing nice, that total feeling of worthlessness never left me, and I was absolutely overwhelmed by the attention I was getting from men - I just couldn't handle it. That's so stupid, as most woman I think DO enjoy compliments from me, but not me. In fact, I found it so difficult to handle, that I started eating again, as I didn't want men giving me compliments........how dumb is THAT???

    Even though I'm overweight (again!), I STILL get men hitting on me, but I feel totally embarrassed when it happens. I've been to counselling for my self esteem problem, and even though I've been told that it's not my fault I have ADD, and I never see the kids I went to school with, etc. etc., I am without a doubt, an overly emotional person and I take everything right to heart. If someone says I'm dumb, I'll think I'm not just dumb, but the dumbest person on planet earth. Unfortunately, this doesn't apply when someone tells me I'm good looking.

    So I guess it's just a matter of the past catching up with you.......although in my case, it never really left.

    Geeze, do I sound like a frigging whiner, or what????

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    (((((Mary)))))

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