Ive noticed some discussion on the question of whether we should be concerned about moderating our behaviour because of what lurking JWs will think. Should we be concerned about scaring off JWs who may be starting to question the WT, or should anything go because if they can't deal with the real world it's not our problem and we should be ourselves?
The following are some of my thoughts. They are my opinions only, and this post is NOT intended to start a board war or even an interboard war. If it does, I'll request Simon to delete the thread.
It is impractical for all of the participants of a discussion board to try and present a picture that will never offend any lurking JWs. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who will get offended, even though it be at something trivial like the mere mention of Harry Potter. In fact, there is only one person's opinion in this area that is relevant on any discussion board, and that is its legal owner, who bears responsibility for its content. Any discussion board will therefore tend to attract people whose attitude broadly agrees with its owner, and repel those whose attitudes are markedly different.
But I do disagree with the idea that we shouldnt care what lurking JWs think because this is the "real world." This kind of statement is based upon an underlying assumption that (in my opinion) is incorrect. The underlying assumption is that ex-JW discussion boards present a reasonably accurate facsimile of non-JW mainstream society, the "real world."
Consider the behaviour exhibited upon those boards that have very limited or no moderation, the extreme foul language, abusive argumentation, character assassinations, group witchhunts and explicit pornography and sexual talk. All exhibited by people who have mostly never met each other, spend very little time together and know each other only superficially. Are average people in mainstream society behaving this way with superficial acquaintances? I dont think so.
That is why I can say that not only would I not refer a questioning JW to a discussion board, I also would not refer a "worldly" person to one either, because I think it very likely that they too would be disgusted and repulsed by what they saw there. (This is based on consideration of those "worldly" people I am acquainted with, who range from low-income and homeless people to university professors and millionaires). I know of one poster who did in fact refer a colleague, with this exact result.
Ex-JW boards do not reflect mainstream society, they are not the real world. Even though a majority of members may not be of an extremist nature, the atmosphere of an ex-JW discussion board is more akin to an extremist fringe of society, say for instance militant animal rights activists or violent anti-globalisation protestors. Why is this?
The hoary old illustration of the spring comes to mind. As we all know, this is used by the Watchtower in reference to child raising. However, it is also applicable to people who leave the Watchtower. JWs are kept like a tightly coiled spring, and when they leave, they go boing! and frequently stretch to the other extreme. Where they were forced into conformity, they become violently argumentative. Where they were forced into a constricted morality, they become promiscuous. Where everything revolved around the organisation, they become opposed to any form of organisation. Where they were told that if they didnt agree with something it was always because of their own faulty reasoning, they become unwilling to accept that sometimes this is true. Where certain words and phrases are used by the WT, any
use of these words and phrases in the same context is considered evidence of Watchtower thinking. And so on.Eventually I think, most moderate into fairly average attitudes, like a spring regaining its natural shape and tension. A few don't, and remain extreme. On ex-JW boards, there are both those in the initial stage of "springing" from the Watchtower, and those who have remained at the other extreme rather than moderating over time. Even though they are a minority, they are aggressively vocal, and thus tend to dominate out of proportion to their numbers in the contained environment of a discussion board. In mainstream society, these fringes have much less of an influence because their views are far more diluted.
Thus, the idea that we shouldn't have to moderate our behaviour because this is the real world is not true. This is not the real world. Mainstream society is far more moderated than we are on these discussion boards. If we put off JWs because they are still held in the grasp of Watchtower conditioning, that is not something we should be concerned about. But if we put off JWs and average "worldly" people because of our extreme anti-social and emotionally unbalanced behaviour as a group, that is something we should feel considerably ashamed of, and try to improve on. If most people who come into contact with us are repulsed, perhaps some self-analysis of our behaviour would be a good thing. In this case, saying we should "be ourselves" goes beyond an exercise of freedom and becomes a denial of social responsibility, and a breaking of the social contract.
Expatbrit
Edited by - expatbrit on 28 August 2002 15:29:14