I miss my mom

by flower 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  FiveShadows

  Flower i had a hard life myself with my parents as well ...that came with a lot of abuse and hate from their end. I've been thrown out of the house so many times it's not even funny...and homeless living ont he streets many times...i'm 20 only...and i am finally living on my own...things were very hard and can understand why you feel the way you do...and believe it's perfectly natural and okay...i agree that children do need that kind of love and affection...and sometimes people can't give it because they are too selfish. But you are loved...by Jah and Jah-Eshua. And your friends and those who you consider to be your family...take delight in this...and ask Jah-Eshua and Jah to make amends with your mother so that you two can gain that loving relationsihp back...seeing how it's hurt you so much to not have it....i hope all the best for you ~FS

  Edited by - fiveshadows on 31 August 2002 19:0:41
• 

  Shutterbug

  Dear Flower

  It is highly unlikely I can add a whole lot to what has already been said, but I think you may have learned one thing, you have a world of support on this forum. Would love to meet and visit with you eyeball to eyeball but that is not likely to happen anytime soon as you are 2000 miles from us Texans. Meanwhile, keep your chin up and try not to get discouraged. Bill
• 

  DJ

  Flower,

  I completely understand. Don't think twice. It will come in time, maybe. It took me a long time to overlook my mom's view that I sinned by allowing my husband to have transfusions.

  I wish the best for you! Mass. has always been a place I'd like to go. Do you know anyone there? I hope so. I guess we're not neighbors anymore. I wish I knew ahead of time, I would have liked for you and your son to visit us in PA. I'm glad we met. Hope to talk to you soon, here. (((((((((((flower))))))))))))))

  love, dj
• 

  Sentinel

  Flower ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

  My heart goes out to you. Treasure the conversations you have with your mom. Try not to dwell on the past if it makes you unhappy.

  Perhaps your mother should never have told you some of the things she has. Those things might have best been left unsaid. At any rate, if learning these things helped you to understand the reasons why your life was the way it was, then maybe it wasn't a bad thing. Who knows.

  My father and mother never hugged each other or showed affection. My father never showed me any tender love. He never hugged me or had any kind of interest in me when I was a child--or ever, for that matter. I've learned that this was because he was immature, and was still a kid at 26, when they had me. I was in the way. He was jealous of me, jealous of his own child! He also dealt with me in sexually inappropriate ways. It wasn't until the first part of this year, that I prayed to find out what had gone wrong with "us", and why he just abandoned me emotionally when I was about five. It was then that I remembered a "dream" I had when I was that age. A grown up person that I loved was behaving in a bad way with me and telling me to be quiet and not make a sound. Suddenly everything made sense in a very sick way. I can't go into this any further, but at that point I understood why he distanced himself from me, and why I felt like he didn't love me. The thing is, my own mother quite possibly knew of the occurance(s), and never did a thing.

  Parents can damage their children. We can be damaged and still survive. We can be damaged ourselves and be the best parents in the world when we have our own dear babies. Your father was a sick man to hate you. It isn't natural. No child should have to live in a home without love, but it happens all the time. Perhaps they were never loved when they were young, and just don't know how to reach out.

  Parents grow up with many unresolved issues themselves. Many issues never become resolved, and other issues are resolved and there is healing. I hope this can happen for you.

  A hug can go such a long way.((((((((((((((flower)))))))))))))

  Sentinel/Karen
• 

  mamashel

  (((((((((((((((((((FLOWER)))))))))))))

  Flower, I feel your pain. All I can say is here is a big hug from me to you. My dad was the one who always treated me like crap, but the ultimate was when I married a black man. (i'm white). He never really spoke much to me after that. Yeah, lots of love among the "brothers" haha. Anyway, i'm sorry for the relationship you have with your mom, my husband feels the same way about his mother. She did so much damage to him, sometimes i think it is permanant for the rest of his life. The best thing you can do is give your family all the love you ever missed and give those kids hugs and kisses and tell them you love them EVERY DAY. Break the cycle and dont allow yourself to do it to your kids. Your right, they deserve to be loved on more than anyone in the world, all kids need love and affection. I have 6 of my own. Good luck in everything. And tell you mother how you feel and how she made you feel, you never know, she might not even relize it herself. Sometimes we try not to think about the things we have done and need someone to remind us. And even if she gets upset, you can have a burden lifted off your chest.

  Shelley