Quote from The Watchtower January 1st 1986 Issue, Page 14:
"Shocking as it is, even some who have been PROMINENT in Jehovah's organization have succumbed to immoral practices, including homosexuality, wife swapping, and CHILD MOLESTING. It is to be noted, also, that during the past year, 36,638 individuals had to be disfellowshipped from the Christian congregation, the greater number of them for practicing immorality. Jehovah's organization must be kept clean!... This is a time for congregation elders, ministerial servants, and indeed all our brothers and sisters to avoid any circumstances that could lead to immorality."
Here are MORE Quotes from The Watchtower September 15th 1981 Issue (You can see the other Quotes at the top of this Web Page):
AFTER Adam had been alone for some time, God said: It is not good for the man to continue by himself. Then He created Eve and instituted human marriage. (Gen. 2:18, 21, 22) Thereafter, earth's population was to grow. So each person would come to have many relatives. Even if some family members, such as children, did not live nearby, they could be visited and pleasant times shared. (Gen. 1:28; Job 1:1-5) God had purposed that families should be united in true worship, so religious beliefs would not create any divisions. But incidents occurred in which religion became a family issue. One of these was when Korah, Dathan and Abiram rebelled. Jehovah confirmed that he was dealing through Moses and Aaron, not through these religious rebels. Then Moses told the people to get away from the rebels tents. What would the children and households of Korah, Dathan and Abiram do? Would they put loyalty to family ahead of loyalty to Jehovah and his congregation? Most of those closely related to the rebels put family before God. Jehovah executed these relatives along with the rebels. (Num. 16:16-33) However, some of Korah s sons remained loyal to God and His people. They were not executed along with the rest of Korah s household and the families of Dathan and Abiram. (Num. 26:9-11) In fact, descendants of these surviving Korahites were later blessed with special service at the temple and mentioned with honor in the Bible. Chron. 20:14-19; Ps. 42, 44-49, 84, 85, 87.
A similar decision between loyalty to family and loyalty to God was faced when an Israelite became an apostate. Would his family, moved by human emotion or blood ties, try to shield him from being cut off? Or would even his brother, son or daughter realize that loyalty to God and the congregation was the right and wise course? (See Deuteronomy 13:6-11.)
In the Christian arrangement today a sinner is not cut off by execution, but Christians may face tests because of a relative s being disciplined.
RELATIVES MAY CAUSE PROBLEMS
Family connections and affection can be very strong. This is natural and is in accord with God s arrangement. (John 16:21) But these strong ties can also bring a difficult test on Christians. Jesus explained that one effect of a person s becoming a Christian would be that relatives might oppose. Jesus said: I came to put, not peace, but a sword. For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a young wife against her mother-in-law. Indeed, a man s enemies will be persons of his own household. He that has greater affection for father or mother than for me is not worthy of me. Matt. 10:34-38.
Christians do not want such enmity to exist. And there is no reason why relatives should oppose or hate them for having become clean, moral, honest servants of God.
Yet true Christians realize that they cannot put family before God.
In the long run, what is in everyone s best interest is for Christians to continue faithful to God. In time they may be able to influence their relatives to walk on the way leading to salvation. Rom. 9:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:12-16. Relatives may also cause problems for true Christians in another way. This may develop when a relative is disfellowshiped. As discussed in the preceding articles, if a person in the congregation unrepentantly practices gross sin, God requires that he be disfellowshiped. (1 Cor. 5:11-13)
The conduct of the wrongdoer has changed his relationship with Jehovah and therefore with family members who are Jehovah's Witnesses.
Nor does the fault rest with the faithful Christian relatives. It is the disfellowshiped person who has made problems for himself and for his relatives, as did Korah, Dathan and Abiram.
We need to examine two distinct situations. The first is where a Christian lives in the same household with a disfellowshiped or disassociated family member. The second is where such a relative is not in the immediate family circle.
IN THE IMMEDIATE FAMILY CIRCLE
A person might become a Christian without others in that one's family circle accepting the faith. For instance, a wife might be serving Jehovah, but her husband not.
Despite that, she is still one flesh with her husband and is obliged to love and respect him. (Gen. 2:24; 1 Pet. 3:1-6) Or she might be married to a man who was a dedicated Christian but was later expelled from the congregation. Yet that would not end their marital ties ; only death or a Scriptural divorce would do that. 1 Cor. 7:39; Matt. 19:9. Similarly, if a relative, such as a parent, son or daughter, is disfellowshiped or has disassociated himself, blood and family ties remain. Does that mean, then, that in the family circle everything remains the same when one member is disfellowshiped? Definitely not. A disfellowshiped person has been spiritually cut off from the congregation; the former spiritual ties have been completely severed. This is true even with respect to his relatives, including those within his immediate family circle. Thus, family members while acknowledging family ties will no longer have any spiritual fellowship with him. 1 Sam. 28:6; Prov. 15:8, 9.
That will mean changes in the spiritual fellowship that may have existed in the home. For example, if the husband is disfellowshiped, his wife and children will not be comfortable with him conducting a family Bible study or leading in Bible reading and prayer. If he wants to say a prayer, such as at mealtime, he has a right to do so in his own home. But they can silently offer their own prayers to God. (Prov. 28:9;Ps. 119:145, 146 )
What if a disfellowshiped person in the home wants to be present when the family reads the Bible together or has a Bible study? The others might let him be present to listen if he will not try to teach them or share his religious ideas.
If a minor child is disfellowshiped, the parents will still care for his physical needs and provide moral training and discipline. They would not conduct a Bible study directly with the child, with him participating. Yet this does not mean that he would not be required to sit in on the family study. And they might direct attention to parts of the Bible or Christian publications that contain counsel he needs. (Prov. 1:8-19; 6:20-22; 29:17; Eph. 6:4)
They can have him accompany them to and sit with them at Christian meetings, hoping that he will take to heart Biblical counsel. But what if a close relative, such as a son or a parent who does not live in the home, is disfellowshiped and subsequently wants to move back there? The family could decide what to do depending on the situation. For example, a disfellowshiped parent may be sick or no longer able to care for himself financially or physically. The Christian children have a Scriptural and moral obligation to assist. (1 Tim. 5:8) Perhaps it seems necessary to bring the parent into the home, temporarily or permanently. Or it may appear advisable to arrange for care where there is medical personnel but where the parent would have to be visited. What is done may depend on factors such as the parent s true needs, his attitude and the regard the head of the household has for the spiritual welfare of the household. This could be true also with regard to a child who had left home but is now disfellowshiped or disassociated. Sometimes Christian parents have accepted back into the home for a time a disfellowshiped child who has become physically or emotionally ill. But in each case the parents can weigh the individual circumstances. Has a disfellowshiped son lived on his own, and is he now unable to do so? Or does he want to move back primarily because it would be an easier life? What about his morals and attitude? Will he bring leaven into the home? Gal. 5:9.
In Jesus parable of the prodigal son, the father ran to meet and then accepted his returning son. The father, seeing the lad s pitiful condition, responded with natural parental concern. We can note, though, that the son did not bring home harlots or come with a disposition to continue his sinful life in his father s home. No, he expressed heartfelt repentance and evidently was determined to return to living a clean life. Luke 15:11-32.
DISFELLOWSHIPED RELATIVES NOT LIVING AT HOME
18. The second situation that we need to consider is that involving a disfellowshiped or disassociated relative who is not in the immediate family circle or living at one s home. Such a person is still related by blood or marriage, and so there may be some limited need to care for necessary family matters. Nonetheless, it is not as if he were living in the same home where contact and conversation could not be avoided. We should keep clearly in mind the Bible s inspired direction: Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person... , not even eating with such a man. 1 Cor. 5:11.
Consequently, Christians related to such a disfellowshiped person living outside the home should strive to avoid needless association, even keeping business dealings to a minimum. The reasonableness of this course becomes apparent from reports of what has occurred where relatives have taken the mistaken view,
Though he is disfellowshiped, we are related and so can treat him the same as before. From one area comes this: One person who was disfellowshiped was related to about one third of the congregation. All of his relations continued to associate with him. And a highly respected Christian elder writes: In our area some disfellowshiped ones with large families have been met, as they enter the lobby of the Kingdom Hall, with a fanfare of backslapping and handshaking (even though the disfellowshiped one was known by them to be still living immorally). I feel a deep concern that those who have been disfellowshiped need to see that their course is hated by Jehovah and by his people and that they should feel a real need to become genuinely repentant. What will help these disfellowshiped ones to change when they are continually greeted by all in their large families who know of their practices? There must have been congregations in the first century where many were related. But when someone was disfellowshiped, were all the relatives to carry on as normal as long as they did not discuss Scriptural matters with the disfellowshiped person? No. Otherwise the congregation would not really be applying the command: Remove the wicked man from among yourselves. 1 Cor. 5:13.
Great care needs to be exercised that a person s situation as a disfellowshiped sinner is neither overlooked nor minimized. As the sons of Korah well demonstrated, our chief loyalty must be to Jehovah and his theocratic arrangement. We can be sure that when we uphold his standards and prefer association with his organized people, rather than with wrongdoers, we will have his protection and blessing. Ps. 84:10-12.
Normally, relatives are often together at meals, picnics, family reunions or other social gatherings. But when someone has unrepentantly pursued sin and has had to be disfellowshiped, he may cause difficulties for his Christian relatives in regard to such gatherings. While they realize that they are still related to him, they do not want to ignore Paul's advice that faithful Christians should quit mixing in company with an expelled sinner. There is no point in looking for some rule as to family members being at gatherings where a disfellowshiped relative might be present. This would be something for those concerned to resolve, in keeping with Paul s counsel. (1 Cor. 5:11) And yet it should be appreciated that if a disfellowshiped person is going to be at a gathering to which nonrelative Witnesses are invited, that may well affect what others do. For example, a Christian couple might be getting married at a Kingdom Hall. If a disfellowshiped relative comes to the Kingdom Hall for the wedding, obviously he could not be in the bridal party there or give away the bride. What, though, if there is a wedding feast or reception? This can be a happy social occasion, as it was in Cana when Jesus attended. (John 2:1, 2) But will the disfellowshiped relative be allowed to come or even be invited? If he was going to attend, many Christians, relatives or not, might conclude that they should not be there, to eat and associate with him, in view of Paul's directions at 1 Corinthians 5:11.
Thus, sometimes Christians may not feel able to have a disfellowshiped or disassociated relative present for a gathering that normally would include family members. Still, the Christians can enjoy the association of the loyal members of the congregation, having in mind Jesus words: Whoever does the will of God, this one is my brother and sister and mother. Mark 3:35.
The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God; membership in the happy congregation of Christians; sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives. (1 Pet. 2:17) The pain he has caused may even survive him. Should he die while disfellowshiped, arrangements for his funeral may be a problem. His Christian relatives may like to have had a talk at the Kingdom Hall, if that is the local custom. But that would not be fitting for a person expelled from the congregation. If he had been giving evidence of repentance and wanting God's forgiveness, such as by ceasing to practice sin and by attending Christian meetings, some brother s conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or grave site. Such Biblical comments about the condition of the dead provide a witness to unbelievers or comfort to the relatives. However, if the disfellowshiped person had still been advocating false teachings or ungodly conduct, even such a talk would not be appropriate. 2 John 9-11.
LESSONS FOR ALL OF US
All of us need to appreciate that it is Jehovah's judgment that counts. (Prov. 29:26)
That is true as to hateful practices, for the Bible shows that these are things that God detests. (Prov. 6:16-19) But it is also true as to his judgment of individuals. Jehovah's Word plainly says that unrighteous persons, those carrying on the works of the flesh, will not inherit his kingdom. (1 Cor. 6:9, 10; Gal. 5:19-21) Such persons have no place in heaven, nor will they fit in the earthly realm of the Kingdom. Accordingly, anyone who wants to remain in the clean congregation of God today must meet His standards. God simply will not permit leaven to remain as a corrupting influence among his holy people. 1 Cor. 5:6-13.
Naturally, if a close relative is disfellowshiped, human emotions can pose a major test for us. Sentiment and family ties are particularly strong between parents and their children, and they are also powerful when a marriage mate is disfellowshiped.
Still, we must recognize that, in the final analysis, we will not benefit anyone or please God if we allow emotion to lead us into ignoring His wise counsel and guidance. We need to display our complete confidence in the perfect righteousness of God's ways, including his provision to disfellowship unrepentant wrongdoers. If we remain loyal to God and to the congregation, the wrongdoer may in time take a lesson from that, repent and be reinstated in the congregation. Yet, whether that occurs or not, we can draw comfort and strength from what David said late in life: All [God's] judicial decisions are in front of me; . . . And let Jehovah repay me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in front of his eyes. With someone loyal you will act in loyalty; with the faultless, mighty one you will deal faultlessly; with the one keeping clean you will show yourself clean... And the humble people you will save. 2 Sam. 22:23-28.
Quote from The Watchtower June 15th 1997 Issue, Pages 21-22:
"A family cannot be completely happy if even one of its members lacks natural affection or is disloyal. How peaceful can family life be if someone in the household is fierce and not open to any agreement? Worse still, how can there be peace and happiness when family members are lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God? These are the traits of people in this world ruled by Satan. No wonder family happiness is elusive in these last days!"
Quote from Awake! March 8th 1988 Issue, Page 19:
"I have discovered that there is only one religious organization on earth capable of clearly defining the boundaries of relative freedom. What particularly convinced me during my study with Jehovah's Witnesses is that this organization has the strength to require of its members that they stay within these boundaries."
Quote from Reasoning From The Scriptures Book, (1985 and 1989 Editions), Pages 328 and 329:
"How can a person know which religion is right?... (5) Do its members truly love one another? Jesus said: "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves." (John 13:35) Such love reaches across racial, social, and national boundaries, drawing people together in genuine brotherhood. So strong is this love that it sets them apart as being truly different. When the nations go to war, who have enough love for their Christian brothers in other lands that they refuse to take up arms and kill them? That is what early Christians did."
Quote from The Watchtower March 15th 1996 Issue, Page 16:
"Loyalty to Jehovah's Organization....We now come to the matter of being loyal to Jehovah's visible organization. Certainly, we owe loyalty to it, including "the faithful and discreet slave," through which the Christian congregation is fed spiritually."
Pages 17-18:
"Loyalty to Loyal Elders....When something is said or done in the congregation that we have difficulty understanding, loyalty will keep us from judging motives and will help us to take the position that perhaps it is a matter of judgment. Is it not far better to dwell on the good qualities of the appointed elders and other fellow believers rather than on their shortcomings? Yes, we want to guard against all such negative thinking, for it is related to being disloyal!"
Page 19:
"Loyalty to the congregation also calls on us to support all five weekly meetings to the extent of our circumstances and ability. Loyalty requires that we not only attend them regularly but also prepare for them and make upbuilding comments as opportunity affords."
Pages 19-20:
"Aids to Keeping Loyal...What will help us to meet the challenge of loyalty in these four areas: loyalty to Jehovah, to his organization, to the congregation, and to our marriage mate? One aid is appreciating that meeting the challenge of loyalty is bound up with the vindication of Jehovah's sovereignty....Strong faith in Jehovah God and fear of displeasing him will help us to meet the challenge of loyalty. We strengthen our faith in and fear of Jehovah by diligently studying God's Word and by engaging in the Christian ministry. This will help us to act in harmony [unity] with Paul's counsel recorded at Ephesians.."
Quote from The Watchtower October 1st 1967 Issue, Page 587:
"THE BIBLE IS AN ORGANIZATIONAL BOOK...The Bible itself is an organizational book...Thus the Bible is an organizational book and belongs to the Christian congregation as an organization, not to individuals, regardless of how sincerely they may believe that they can interpret the Bible. For this reason the Bible cannot be properly understood without Jehovah's visible organization in mind."
Quote from The Watchtower May 1st 1957 Issue, Pages 273-274:
"My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life....If we are to walk in the light of truth we must recognize not only Jehovah God as our Father but his organization as our mother."
Quotes from Organized to Accomplish Our Ministry Book (1983 Edition):
"HANDING OTHER JUDICIAL MATTERS... Some wrongdoing may be brought to the attention of the overseers by individual brothers or sisters who report unresolved personal grievances... On the other hand, the elders may be approached by individuals who either confess their own sins or report [spy] what they know regarding the wrongdoing of others."
Quote from The Watchtower June 15th 1961 Issue, Page 371:
"It is a serious thing to disfellowship a person, because it means that the person is cut off from God's organization, from life. On the other hand, it is just as serious to fail to disfellowship when it should be done. Why? Because it manifests insubordination on the part of the servants, a failure to respond to the divine decisions recorded in the Bible. It permits further corruption of the organization, endangering the faith of the brothers and vitiating the work of the congregation."
Quote from The Watchtower October 15th 1964 Issue, Page 639:
"So today, if wickedness is practiced by anyone in the Christian congregation, the congregation's judicial committee has the responsibility to investigate and disfellowship, to clear away what is bad. But each one in the congregation should be just as zealous for the congregation's cleanness and good standing before Jehovah, even though the guilty one may be as close as a son or a daughter. Each one should be zealous to bear witness to what he knows in the case, not withholding information or evidence because of close ties of family or friendship."
Quote from Organization Book (1972 Edition), Page 172:
"In faithfulness to God, none in the congregation should greet such persons when meeting them in public nor should they welcome these into their homes."
Quote from The Watchtower December 1st 1972 Issue, Pages 734, 735, 736:
"Nevertheless, if future cases of gross unnatural conduct, such as the practice of oral or anal copulation, are brought to their attention, the elders should act to try to correct the situation before further harm results, as they would do with any other serious wrong. Their concern is, of course, to try to help those who go astray and are 'caught in the snare of the Devil.' ... But if persons willfully show disrespect for Jehovah God's marital arrangements, then it becomes necessary to remove them from the congregation as dangerous "leaven" that could contaminate others.."
Quote from The Watchtower March 15th 1983 Issue, Pages 30-31:
"Married Christians... How about sexual activity between married couples within the marriage bond? It is not for the elders to pry into the intimate lives of married Christians. However, the Bible certainly enters into their lives. Those who would "keep walking by spirit" should not ignore the Scriptural indications of God's thinking. And they will do well to cultivate a hatred for everything that is unclean before Jehovah, including what are clearly perverted sexual practices. Married couples should act in a way that will leave them with a clean conscience, as they give unimpeded attention to developing "the fruitage of the spirit... What, though, if one mate wants or even demands to share with his or her partner in what is clearly a perverted sex practice? The above-presented facts show that porneia involves unlawful sexual conduct outside the marital arrangement. Thus, a mate's enforcing perverted acts, such as oral or anal sex, within the marriage would not constitute a Scriptural basis for a divorce that would free either for remarriage. Even though a believing mate is distressed by the situation, yet that one's endeavor to hold to Scriptural principles will result in a blessing from Jehovah. In such cases it may be helpful for the couple to discuss the problem frankly, bearing in mind especially that sexual relations should be honorable, wholesome, an expression of tender love. This certainly should exclude anything that might distress or harm one's mate... As already stated, it is not for elders to "police" the private marital matters of couples in the congregation. However, if it becomes known that a member of the congregation is practicing or openly advocating perverted sex relations within the marriage bond, that one certainly would not be irreprehensible, and so would not be acceptable for special privileges, such as serving as an elder, a ministerial servant or a pioneer. Such practice and advocacy could even lead to expulsion from the congregation... Like porneia, these vices, when they become gross, can be grounds for disfellowshipping from the Christian congregation, but not for obtaining a Scriptural divorce. A person who brazenly advocates shocking and repulsive sexual activities would be guilty of loose conduct. Of course, a person with that attitude might even sink to committing porneia; then there would be a basis for a Scriptural divorce."