devastated youth...my sister was sucked in

notawitness

My sister married into a family of witnesses. Her husband isn't a witness though, he never believed, but was forced to attend meetings untill he turned 18. When he married my sister she got sucked in to his family's beliefs. Now she won't spend time with us, says she was born into worldly things and she doesn't think it would be good of her to come back. It hit me when she wouldn't so much as see me on my 17th birthday. That hurt so bad. I read the card she gave me last year over and over and over. I miss her. I looked through all the pics from Christmas last year. She told us not to expect her this year, she doesn't belive in Christmas anymore. What she doesn't believe in is her family. She has been brainwashed into thinking that we are horrible people, we are Christians. I don't know what to do. Her husband won't speak up and tell her what he thinks of it all, I mean, he tried so hard to get away from JW when he married my sister and now she is trying to drag him back into it. Her husband is the best thing that could have happend to her, he loves her and he is a great guy. I love my sister, but I think I have lost her to a Cult of Stupidity.

little witch

I know it is very painful to watch your sister get sucked in. I hope you just keep loving her, even when it is taxing. I went through the same thing with my sister, and she eventually came to her senses.

Being a jw is really hard. Most people cant live up to their standards, and have to find stress relief. Give your sister everything she does not give you, love, acceptance, and comfort. She will come around. Don't tell her she is wrong, or mistaken. It assaults them to the core. Just be there, and let her learn for herself.

jwsons

Send her a book with title "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz (a former Governing Body member of Jehovah's Witnesses). The book tell her all about her new beliefs.

jwsons

notawitness

I do still love my sister, it is just really hard to think about. My mom cries all the time. I try to forget about it and pretend it isn't happening but it is and it is too much a part of my family now. My parents tried talking to her, she just got angry and defensive, we didn't hear from her untill a little while ago. She called, she asked for my mom and wouldn't speak to me. My mom had written her an e-mail explaining our concerns, my dad is so angry that he hasn't accepted her calls for months.

onacruse

Welcome to the forum, notawitness....wishing your circumstances were happier.

Like little witch said: "I hope you just keep loving her, even when it is taxing."

"'Tis said of love that it sometimes goes, sometimes flies; runs with one, walks gravely with another; turns a third into ice, and sets a fourth in a flame: it wounds one, another it kills: like lightning it begins and ends in the same moment: it makes that fort yield at night which it besieged but in the morning; for there is no force able to resist it."
Miguel de Cervantes

Craig

NewLight2

Copy the thread in link below into a word processor, stripping out all indications that it came from the internet or an "aspotate site". Then print it out for your sister to read. Ask her questions about the "JW Shunning Policy". I'll bet that as a new convert, she is not yet aware of all the pain that the WBTS creates within families due to this policy.

Is your sister baptized yet?

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=35726&site=3

Edited by - NewLight2 on 1 September 2002 14:54:59

RandomTask

The last thing you need to do is be angry and act opposed, they take this as evidence of the Devil trying to persecute them and it only tends to strengthens their beliefs. Usually when one is not uder fire and things are calm is the best time for someone to have an open mind, if they are pressured it tends to put up a wall. Theres no real way to get someone out of the religion because it all depends on where the mind of the person is, they have to want to have an open mind, they have to want to be reasonable and furthermore they have to want to accept bad things about the religion. If they don't then they will never break free from it. You can talk to them proof after proof until you are blue in the face but they just won't listen to reason. There exists so much proof that the Jehovah's Witness religion is false and yet show this to an average witness and they will refuse to believe it. Its frustrating.

Basically, if she is new to the religion they are in the "love bomb" mode where they are making her feel so good and welcome at the congregation she is attending. Its a strong force, made evn stronger when they have instilled into her the belief that God is behind their religion. As a witness you live in constant fear of God, that he is going to destroy you for even having bad thoughts, they equate God with their publications and those who give direction in Brooklyn. So usually it takes time in the religion to see the real truth from the inside, for me it took years to really see the "truth" if your brother in law doesn't go back to the religion then that will have an effect on her, having an unbelieving mate means you usually get treated differently. For some this effects them and opens their mind.

You have to handle this situation with kit gloves. You have to have your family show her love and acceptance even though it makes you cringe. If she feels comfortable with you, you can then over time ask questions. And don't be obvious or that wall goes up again. I wish you luck in trying to help your sister and I know the pain that this religion puts people through all too well. You do have to be prepared for her never getting out of the religion, so keep that in mind, that no matter how hard you try some people just can't bee freed. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that you can have a meaningful relationship with her in the future.

NewLight2

A good book for you to start reading is "How to Rescue Your Loved One from the WatchTower" by David Reed
c/r 1989 by Baker Book House
ISBN: 0-8010-7752-4

I'm sure you can find it at:
amazon.com

I would also suggest that you start learning about what the WT REALLY teaches. A good place to begin is at this URL:

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Parthenon/7831/

When you are finished reading all the links there, you can then find more links from my home page:

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Troy/5385/Links1.html

After you and your family are thorouthly versed on the "Truth about the 'truth'(tm)" then maybe you could begin asking your sister some questions in an interested way. Her OWN research to answer your questions should get her to thinking a little.

Edited by - NewLight2 on 1 September 2002 16:2:8

notawitness

she was babtized Lutheran when she was 3 weeks old.

NewLight2

notawitness:
"she was babtized Lutheran when she was 3 weeks old."

Than, I take it she has not yet been re-baptized as a JW. That is a very good sign. Baptism to a JW is VERY important. The JW's will not accept her previous baptism as valid. She will need to be baptized into the JW religion. There is more hope of getting her out as long as she has not yet taken this final step of commitment. Please do read David Reed's book, it just may be the key you are loooking for.

devastated youth...my sister was sucked in

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