I have been out since 1979. It took at least two years in those pre-internet days for me to acknowledge that it might not be "the truth." I had difficulty with jobs, readjustment, a vicious ex-spouse (an elder) who punished my daughter to get back at me (that mean, hateful *@!~^&), and no reliable support system. But it was worth it all!
I have learned to accept things at face value and have left off "hope" aka fantasy about the unknowable. I attained a college degree at age 37, and my daughter will graduate from college in December with a degree in chemistry. We have wonderful holidays and great conversations. I have friends who love me without my having to tow the line for any dogma.
It gets better. Give it time. I recommend Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, Your Erroneous Zones. I credit this book with getting me on the path to sanity and enjoying life.
For those of us brought up as JWs to not trust anybody else (at least spiritually) and have our trust in the Watchtower broken leaves us in a difficult situation. I have found it very hard to find things to read and accept. The inner peace I find is believing that their is no real full answer and that all belief taught is the opinion of others and I am free to believe what I want and to change my beliefs as I see fit. I tend to challenge everything I was taught as a JW regarding the teachings of the Bible and re-examine everything. I have attended Bible study sessions but found it hard to switch off my old mind set and thus I couldn't contribute much as I doubted so much knowledge I acquired due to the tarnished reputation of WTS writers.
In reading, I have read books dealing with history of the content of the Bible, (e.g. the so-called "higher critics") and read books on faith by Philip Clancey, (very good, but still don't feel everything he says is right) and some of Bishop Spong's books including his defense of the Bible against fundamentalism.
Because I don't believe that a single true religion can exist I tend to accept all faith and have attended many services. I do tend to judge religious institutions on how they work with and treat the less fortunate of our society regardless of these one's (the poor and homeless) own religious beliefs. If sinners aren't welcome I don't feel I am welcome.
Sorry if I have rambled. The path we are on is not easy, I hope my views from the highway helps.
