Seeking advice on official DA

by Bridgette 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  Bridgette

  For a very long time, I have held off on making my departure from the JW's official (though, I am as far removed from them as I can be) because of my mother. I did not want her to feel she must shun me when there would be no one to replace my presence in her life. This was for practical reasons as well as well as emotional. Not exactly a pillar of the cong., having been the dutiful JW and not "wasted" time on preparing for retirement, she is aging, ailing, alone and poor (not a winning position to be in here in the United States). I, having left and got my act together, now have the means to take care of her, which I will do no matter what. But I always feared that she would isolate herself from me. She now knows full well where I stand about the Jehovah's Witness Organization (having brought the subject up on a recent visit). I believe I am now ready to make my disassociation official (although one part of me asserts that there is no need to explain myself for leaving people who no rights on my soul in the first place--did the Jews who suffered internment in concentration camps have to later write letters of explanations as to why they left to their Nazi tormentors?--when one is raised in the org and thoroughly indoctrinated, abused, etc., this is a very valid analogy, imo).

  Anyway, any suggestions? I do not want to ramble. I want to state my position concisely, and as breifly as possible--I simply not want to be associated in any way, shape, or form with this ignoble, abusive and deceitful organization.

  Thank you in advance for any suggestions,

  Love and Peace,

  Bridgette
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  Mimilly

  Bridgette - Since she knows your feelings about the borg - why not pose a hypothetical question to her and ask her what she would do if you ever decided to do Da yourself?

  That way, you will at least know what you are or are not up against.

  Mimilly
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  Lin

  Hi Bridgette, I understand your comment about not wanting to be linked in any way to the Borg. I sent my official Kiss Off letter back in '95 and was df'd that same week. I told them I didn't want my name on any member list, etc hence the df'ing. Whatever you decide to do, make it official or not, just make sure you only do what you WANT to do, and understanding the consequences of whatever you choose. Good for you to make sure your mom is taken care of. It still blows my mind thinking about my own parents who have no retirement plan, no savings etc, and struggling. Geeez. Good luck to you in whatever you choose to do hon.
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  metatron

  I continue to repeat: Don't play their game. Don't cooperate with their
  sick system of repression. Don't DA yourself.

  If you have successfully drifted away, consider yourself lucky to be free.
  Enjoy your mother's company - and any Witness 'friends' you may have made.

  It's sad to see Witnesses who are both victims - and supporters -
  of the Watchtower. It reminds me of Blacks in the Confederate Army or Jews
  who performed police functions under the Nazis.

  metatron
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  Francois

  Meta is right, right, right. Don't play the game, even the leaving game, by their rules. Don't tell the bastards anything, they don't have the right to the truth and neither do they deserve it.

  I believe that by writing the letter you contemplate (and I believe that Meta would agree with me) that you are giving them power over you - even if by only a little bit. You've given them an option, too, or options. You have given them the option to respond to you, you have given them the option of telling your poor mother that she can't accept any help from you because it would be "sharing in" your wicked works (no tellin' how you made that money, after all. If you made it like they did, you probably stole it from widows and children).

  You open all kinds of doors for those bastards just by asking then what time of day is it. Recommend you vent your spleen at them some other way, and there are plenty of ways.

  francois
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  imanaliento

  ditto to Mimilly's response !!!
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  SYN

  Metatron says it well. DON'T GIVE THEM POWER OVER YOU! If you let them control you, then they have already won. (((Bridgette))))
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  RunningMan

  My sister was df'd about 15 years ago. My uncles still try to portray her shunning as being "her decision" - that somehow she is the one who instigated the shunning, and the relatives are merely following her wishes to not associate.

  This is a huge amount of BS. Shunning, whether through df'ing or da'ing is unilaterally enforced by the organization.

  As has been said above, do not play their game. Make them play it alone. Maybe someday, if not enough people play, the game may go away.
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  obiefernandez

  I had been peacefully drifting away from the organization for two years when the local elders started trying to contact me. One of them finally got me on the phone. After trying in vain to find out how he got my phone number, I told him in no uncertain terms to NEVER TRY TO CONTACT ME OR MY FAMILY AGAIN or I would bring legal action on them for harrassment.

  I never heard from them again. I agree with the guys. Don't play their game. Make your own rules.

  Obie
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  freedom96

  I agree with the above posts........ there just is no need to go by the Societies "rules" and subject yourself to them by DAing yourself. If you have left, faded away, etc, consider yourself lucky, and don't worry about having them label you. Your mom being as you described probably does not need the added stress, even if she was fine being around you after DAing.